# I have a theory **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 28, 2011, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196 "2011-06-28T22:47:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/1 "2011-06-28T22:47:11Z")
Vampires turn into bats to fly around. So therefore, the reason vampires need to bite people is that they aren’t looking to drink blood, but that are in actuallity rabid. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/2 "2011-06-28T22:49:26Z")
Seven is a perfect number, so it does not follow that there are only 6 colors on the color wheel. So therefore there is a 7th color but it mixes and turns black with any of the other colors. If we could just pull that color out, the world would be alot brighter. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/3 "2011-06-29T02:33:01Z")
That most people don’t get my humor cause it is really out there. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/4 "2011-06-29T02:36:06Z")
I have a theory that nobody cares. 🙂 Also, I like music theory. Do you have any music theories? ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/5 "2011-06-29T02:36:19Z")
That soda bottle are plastic now rather than glass like in day of yore cause of the movie industry’s depiction of people getting hit in the head with a bottle was bad marketing for the soda pop industry and they were losing like $100/year. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/6 "2011-06-29T02:39:55Z")
“All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end.” A. Elk ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/7 "2011-06-29T02:41:53Z")
That every song is inspired by a Looney Tune cartoon. You know you agree with me, cause you know you have heard it in beat. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/8 "2011-06-29T02:53:34Z")
I atually heard a child being laughed at for this theory, and I don’t know why cause it makes perfect sense to me . . . The roads would not be congested if the people at the end would just get off like they are suppose to. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/9 "2011-06-29T06:08:47Z")
I have a theory - it could be bunnies. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/10 "2011-06-29T10:45:14Z")
> [@deb2world](#): > > Vampires turn into bats to fly around. So therefore, the reason vampires need to bite people is that they aren’t looking to drink blood, but that are in actuallity rabid. The hydrophobia would also explain why they can’t cross running water. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/11 "2011-06-29T12:00:21Z")
That cats are really time travelers. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/12 "2011-06-29T12:10:33Z")
> [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](#): > > I have a theory - it could be bunnies. Or maybe midgets. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/13 "2011-06-29T12:22:59Z")
Docking the tail of a Boxer (the canine variety) causes their tongues to grow abnormally large and licky. There is in existence a vast conspiracy to piss me off. I’m developing one about the Time Tesseract. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/14 "2011-06-29T12:26:50Z")
That the chipmunks who live in our French drain actually look down upon chipmunks who live in the woodpiles and hedges in our neighborhood. [Chipmunk]“Away, peasant…!”[/Chipmunk] ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/15 "2011-06-29T12:40:16Z")
That women actually Like sex just as much as men, but have secretly organized themselves into a Cartel to regulate its release into society to better keep the supply under tight control. …not that I have anything against tight control… ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/16 "2011-06-29T14:45:41Z")
I have a theory that the fruit fly gene I’m studying is regulated by specific SNPs in the immediate vicinity of the protein code, and that these SNPs can be identified by comparing the genomic sequences of various wild populations of flies and comparing them to the specific quantitative phenotype controlled by this gene. It’s taking me a long time to prove it, though. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/17 "2011-06-29T14:54:45Z")
That elephants are just baby polar bears. Once they reach maturity they migrate across the oceans, elephants naturally float, to the north pole. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/18 "2011-06-29T15:03:07Z")
> [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](#): > > I have a theory - it could be bunnies. Don’t you mean, “It could be _Lepus_”? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/19 "2011-06-29T15:40:58Z")
If you hold a cat over a full bathtub, then release it, it will not actually fall in the water. It will go straight up to the ceiling. In theory, if you release it over a tub that’s outdoors, it will shoot up into the heavens indefinitely. If you strap an array of cats the the bottom of a rocket, and suspend the rocket over a small lake, you’d have a mighty fine propulsion system. Or a rocket that hides under the sofa. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/20 "2011-06-29T20:35:43Z")
That in 15 years people looking to buy a new home will go into the kitchen and see stainless appliances and turn to each other and say “ooohhh, this kitchen is really out of date, we will have to update it with easy to keep clean white appliances that don’t show every hand print” It will be like the olive and yellow appliances of the 70s. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196.md?page=2)