# I have a theory **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 28, 2011, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196 "2011-06-28T22:47:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/21 "2011-06-29T22:08:20Z")
That the total world weight of people is constant and that when someone loses weight there is another person who must gain and thus is compelled to eat more. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/22 "2011-06-29T23:46:45Z")
That Pterodactyls are not really extinct but are living in the trees at work and putting HUGE poopies on my car (no bird could make that size) whenever I park in the spaces under said trees. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/23 "2011-06-30T00:00:12Z")
> [@deb2world](#): > > That Pterodactyls are not really extinct but are living in the trees at work and putting HUGE poopies on my car (no bird could make that size) whenever I park in the spaces under said trees. It’s pigs on the wing. ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/24 "2011-06-30T01:54:03Z")
> [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](#): > > I have a theory - it could be bunnies. +1 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/25 "2011-06-30T13:40:51Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > That women actually Like sex just as much as men, but have secretly organized themselves into a Cartel to regulate its release into society to better keep the supply under tight control. > …not that I have anything against tight control… Pssssssssst Ladies, he’s onto us. Release the Handbag of Doom. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/26 "2011-06-30T13:50:43Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > “All brontosauruses are thin at one end, much, much thicker in the middle, and then thin again at the far end.” > > A. Elk I have a theory that you stole my theory… R. Luxury Yacht (pronounced Throatwarbler Mangrove) ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/27 "2011-06-30T13:53:31Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Don’t you mean, “It could be _Lepus_”? Don’t you watch _House_? It’s never Lepus. ---
**Author:** ![CCYMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/87869e/32.png) [@CCYMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCYMan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/28 "2011-06-30T13:59:28Z")
> [@deb2world](#): > > That in 15 years people looking to buy a new home will go into the kitchen and see stainless appliances and turn to each other and say “ooohhh, this kitchen is really out of date, we will have to update it with easy to keep clean white appliances that don’t show every hand print” > > It will be like the olive and yellow appliances of the 70s. Oooh, I hope this is true! We’re about to put our house on the market and we have all white appliances. Hopefully someone with your viewpoint will tour our kitchen and think “wow, cutting edge!” ---
**Author:** ![AHoosierMama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/258eb7/32.png) [@AHoosierMama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHoosierMama)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/29 "2011-06-30T18:30:36Z")
That peanut butter and shampoo are packaged in a way to make it difficult to use all of it so you’ll have to buy more sooner. ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/30 "2011-06-30T18:40:45Z")
> [@CCYMan](#): > > Oooh, I hope this is true! We’re about to put our house on the market and we have all white appliances. Hopefully someone with your viewpoint will tour our kitchen and think “wow, cutting edge!” You can’t cook on white appliances, none of the food comes out the same, what were you thinking. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/31 "2011-06-30T18:47:24Z")
I had a theory for a long time, that dang if I didn’t read some expert recently stealing my idea: That for every earthquake in the ring of fire there has to be an equal earthquake on the opposite side of the ring to offset it. And they didn’t even give me credit, so sometimes our theories are actually a bit wacky but end up being true. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/32 "2011-07-01T02:19:52Z")
I used to have a theory. I still do, and I used to, too. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/33 "2011-07-01T02:39:27Z")
I had a theory, but someone broke into my house and stole it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/34 "2011-07-01T02:39:57Z")
> [@deb2world](#): > > That in 15 years people looking to buy a new home will go into the kitchen and see stainless appliances and turn to each other and say “ooohhh, this kitchen is really out of date, we will have to update it with easy to keep clean white appliances that don’t show every hand print” You just made it happen. As soon as I read your post, I thought, “She’s right! Those appliances look so brushy steely! We need enamel, it would look cool” > [@deb2world](#): > > That the total world weight of people is constant and that when someone loses weight there is another person who must gain and thus is compelled to eat more. I have a parallel theory. There is only so much soul-stuff in the world at once. For there to be more humans, we must reduce the populations of other living things. This explains the hidden processes linking overpopulation, deforestation and extinctions. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2011, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/35 "2011-07-01T02:58:42Z")
I have a theory: [ol] [li]In our modern decadent age, masturbation is common. [/li] [li]As everyone knows, masturbation causes hairy palms and blindness.[/li] [li]Hairy palms are one of the signs of being a werewolf.[/ol][/li]Therefore: Masturbation is a leading cause of the random violence that plagues our society; it’s all those blind werewolves. ---
**Author:** ![santiago42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@santiago42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/santiago42)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2011, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/36 "2011-07-02T06:12:22Z")
> [@deb2world](#): > > Vampires turn into bats to fly around. So therefore, the reason vampires need to bite people is that they aren’t looking to drink blood, but that are in actuallity rabid. I saw a magazine article a while back that stated vampires are just rabies victims. Bats have a habit of becoming rabid, and some of the symptoms of rabies like hydrophobia could be construed as vampires inability to cross running water. Can’t cite, it was offline and a few years ago. Also a quote: “Theories are like assholes, everyone’s got one.” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2011, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/37 "2011-07-02T17:26:49Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > Pssssssssst Ladies, he’s onto us. Release the Handbag of Doom. I have a theory that I better run… ---
**Author:** ![DHMO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecc23a/32.png) [@DHMO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DHMO)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/38 "2011-07-03T08:15:55Z")
> [@santiago42](#): > > … > Also a quote: “Theories are like assholes, everyone’s got one.” …and they all stink! ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2011, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/39 "2011-07-03T17:04:25Z")
> [@santiago42](#): > > I saw a magazine article a while back that stated vampires are just rabies victims. Bats have a habit of becoming rabid, and some of the symptoms of rabies like hydrophobia could be construed as vampires inability to cross running water. Can’t cite, it was offline and a few years ago. > > Also a quote: “Theories are like assholes, everyone’s got one.” haha. I take a wacky joke I made to my mom and neither of us believe in vampires we laugh and have a good conversation expounding on my joke and someone else actually thinks it might be real. Haha. Heck some expert will be saying next transformers are from the lack of socialization of children and thus they became mechanical. Hey that makes a great theory, I need to write a book and make a fortune. FYI Mom and I have had rabies shots and Mom saw someone die of rabies when she was a child in the '30s so we both know the symptom of rabies and I have a tendency to make off the wall jokes w/Mom. ---
**Author:** ![santiago42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@santiago42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/santiago42)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2011, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196/40 "2011-07-05T06:20:18Z")
> [@deb2world](#): > > haha. I take a wacky joke I made to my mom and neither of us believe in vampires we laugh and have a good conversation expounding on my joke and someone else actually thinks it might be real. Haha. > Heck some expert will be saying next transformers are from the lack of socialization of children and thus they became mechanical. Hey that makes a great theory, I need to write a book and make a fortune. > > FYI Mom and I have had rabies shots and Mom saw someone die of rabies when she was a child in the '30s so we both know the symptom of rabies and I have a tendency to make off the wall jokes w/Mom. The magazine article I got this from was about how there could be actual instances of things like vampires and werewolves. There is a condition that causes abnormal facial hair growth so that a person would look like a werewolf (I believe there is a girl in Thailand with this at this time). A person gets bit by a bat and develops rabies, avoids water, gets red eyes from insomnia, and when they flip out and attack others and possibly bite them the second person also develops rabies. Throughout history , where most people had no concept of viruses you wind up with vampires. Looks like you’re not the first person to have this theory. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-a-theory/587196.md?page=3)