# I have an enemy on this board
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [March 15, 2003, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671 "2003-03-15T22:47:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 15
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/21 "2003-03-16T13:33:21Z")
I am NOT siding with **Ryan\_Liam** , but if someone told me there was no Easter Bunny, with less than 40 days to go, I’d be pretty pissed off, too!
Posted by Ratty in a previously linked thread…
> [@](#):
>
> Again, there are no such things as clairvoyants. None. There is no ESP, no PK, no communication with the dead, no telemetry, no ‘psychic photography’, no aliens, ghosts, Bigfeet, Loch Ness Monsters, Easter bunnies, fairies, or anything else you may have heard about from friends/schoolmates/late night radio. Sorry. I’m sure you’ll find millions and millions of people all over the world who’d just love to debate this with you. Sadly, most of them just want your money.
At least she had the decency to leave Santa Claus out of her cross hairs…we all need _something_ to believe in!
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### Author:  [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/22 "2003-03-16T13:34:10Z")
Hey, hey! My first pitting. A true Doper milestone. But can I enjoy it? Can I laugh uproariously at the creativity of the insults? Or cower at the laser-like precision with which my words have been dissected? Take to heart this criticism and try to become a better human being? No. No, I cannot, because I’ve been pitted by **Ryan\_Liam** , who is to the SDMB what tits are to a bull: good for a laugh, but ultimately superfluous and lacking in style.
Look, **Ryan** , I’m not here to hurt your feelings by being either an asshole or a bitch. I may be both, but I try to reserve it for the truly deserving. This does not include you. If I’ve hurt your feelings, I’m sorry. I have nothing against you, really- I think everyone is basically an okay Joe until they give me reason to think otherwise. I’m not your enemy, kid. I’m just some stranger on a message board. I’m not “out to get you”, believe me. While you may feel I’m your arch-nemesis, plotting to destroy you, and the two of us are locked in mortal message board combat, I can assure you this is not the case. It’s really sad that I’m the one to loom large on your list of enemies. You need to find yourself some bigger problems, because in my world, you’re about as troublesome as a cloudy day.
I have noticed you’re the type who’s rather concerned with what others think of you. Didn’t you start some poll once where you encouraged people to express their opinions of you? Well here’s my opinion: you’re a good boy, but you shit a little close to the house. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. When I think of you at all, I think you’re a nice kid who’s got some problems in the grammar/spelling/vocabulary department, who’s a little too insecure for his own good, and who probably spends way too much time thinking about sports and naked women. Pretty much par for the course at your age. (You’re a teenager, right?) I have no doubt that with a little effort and some perspective, you’ll mature into a good, solid poster. In the meanwhile, I reserve the right to bring down the Hammer of Doom whenever you’re making an idiot of yourself. And I expect no less from everyone else on this board, you included. I have been put in my place more than once by wiser and better posters here, and I came out the better for it.
But don’t expect miracles. This is the SDMB, not the Super-Happy-Family-Fun-Time-Wish-Message-Board. Snarkiness, potshots, sarcasm, and even outright rudeness are an art form here. Accept it, see the humor and creativity put forth, learn what you can- or just leave if it bothers you so much.
Lastly, don’t tell me about your teen angst version of existential despair and expect me to rush in with kind words and a soothing post. You are certainly not the first teenager to feel lonely and awkward, and I guarantee you won’t be the last. It’s part of that mysterious ability we all possess (though some never use) called “growing up”. Again, I suggest you get some real problems, or some real perspective.
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. Sadly one day you will learn what it is to have real enemies. Until then, stay frosty and enjoy your time here. Launder your soul in things humble and clean. Perhaps then you will be whole.
😉
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### Author:  [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/23 "2003-03-16T13:34:23Z")
Damn that _Poison_ ear worm. I’ll be hearing that chorus for hours now…:mad:
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### Author:  [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/24 "2003-03-16T14:12:50Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ratty \*
> \*\*… I think you’re a nice kid who’s got some problems in the grammar/spelling/vocabulary department, who’s a little too insecure for his own good, and who probably spends way too much time thinking about sports and naked women… \*\*
You’ve got ME pegged pretty well, and I’m in my mid-40s. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/25 "2003-03-16T16:08:46Z")
Hallo!
My name is **Ryan Liam**. You mock my post. Prepare to die!
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### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/26 "2003-03-16T21:45:35Z")
I don’t have any enemies.
Everybody loves me.
Maybe I should run for Jesus.
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### Author:  [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/27 "2003-03-16T21:49:14Z")
I’m pretty sure Jesus had some enemies. There was that whole wooden cross thing, for a start…
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### Author:  [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/28 "2003-03-16T22:12:51Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Casey1505 \*
> \*\*At least she had the decency to leave Santa Claus out of her cross hairs…we all need _something_ to believe in! \*\*
Hey, what about Santa Claus?
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### Author:  [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/29 "2003-03-16T22:40:07Z")
**ratty** , that was a great (and I’m betting accurate) response to one of the dumbest self-fulfilling-prophecy OPs I’ve ever seen.
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### Author:  [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)
#### Post date: [March 16, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/30 "2003-03-16T23:23:13Z")
this thread has given me a fierce case of Montezuma’s revenge.
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### Author:  [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)
#### Post date: [March 17, 2003, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/31 "2003-03-17T02:18:18Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by ratty \*
> \*\*
> I’m not your enemy, kid. I’m just some stranger on a message board. I’m not “out to get you”, believe me. While you may feel I’m your arch-nemesis, plotting to destroy you, and the two of us are locked in mortal message board combat, I can assure you this is not the case.
> \*\*
But if you were, **Ryan\_Liam** would be the hulking moronic thug, and you would be the unarmed smiling old man!
😃
In other words, you’d kick his ass!
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### Author:  [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)
#### Post date: [March 17, 2003, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/32 "2003-03-17T03:35:14Z")
I thought someone gave Ryan\_Liam a Live Journal code.
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### Author:  [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)
#### Post date: [March 17, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/33 "2003-03-17T14:39:16Z")
Gee what a surprise, the OP has ran away.
And **Ryan\_Liam** the only reason you don’t have more enemies is that most people simply don’t care about yet another dim-witted attention whore.
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### Author:  [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)
#### Post date: [March 17, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/34 "2003-03-17T20:55:21Z")
Maybe it was **Ratty** ’s [little brother](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=148737&perpage=50&pagenumber=2) posting under her username.
(It is the ninth post down the page. I have no idea how to link to a specific post. Sorry.)
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### Author:  [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)
#### Post date: [March 17, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-an-enemy-on-this-board/161671/35 "2003-03-17T22:40:06Z")
It’s an iniquitous world that gives even uninteresting people arch enemies.
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