# I have become the oracle. I know what you will ask. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561 "2004-02-11T01:03:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/21 "2004-02-11T02:19:11Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > They are all qualities of the system which prevent you from seeing its true underlying nature. I didn’t ask for commmentary, Mr. Wiseacre. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/22 "2004-02-11T02:27:25Z")
> [@Super Gnat](#): > > I didn’t ask for commmentary, Mr. Wiseacre. :rolleyes: I knew that. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/23 "2004-02-11T02:28:42Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Paper or plastic? For condoms, choose plastic. For wiping your ass, choose paper. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/24 "2004-02-11T02:42:51Z")
1.[indent][indent]?[/indent][/indent] 2.[indent][indent]?[/indent][/indent] 3.[indent][indent]?[/indent][/indent] 4.[indent][indent]?[/indent][/indent] 5.[indent][indent]?[/indent][/indent] ---
**Author:** ![Kulau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b487fb/32.png) [@Kulau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kulau)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/25 "2004-02-11T02:46:07Z")
I’m going to University in a week. Should I go to the north, or to the south? What do I name my foal? ---
**Author:** ![hebesphenomegacorona](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b9e5f3/32.png) [@hebesphenomegacorona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hebesphenomegacorona)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/26 "2004-02-11T03:02:45Z")
Will I at least lose my virginity to Aveleigh? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/27 "2004-02-11T03:08:47Z")
Polycarp: It’s the questions that drive you. I cannot answer until you ask. Kulau: > [@](#): > > I’m going to University in a week. Should I go to the north, or to the south? Are you going to University in a week? When You answer that you will know where you should go. > [@](#): > > What do I name my foal? You already know what you name your foal. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/28 "2004-02-11T03:10:08Z")
> [@hebesphenomegacorona](#): > > Will I at least lose my virginity to Aveleigh? You cannot lose that which you do not have. ---
**Author:** ![Kulau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b487fb/32.png) [@Kulau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kulau)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/29 "2004-02-11T03:13:14Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > You already know what you name your foal. But I don’t! She’s a year old and she still doesn’t have a name. Come on almighty oracle, help me out. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/30 "2004-02-11T03:13:52Z")
Why is a raven like a writing desk? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/31 "2004-02-11T03:18:58Z")
What colour is 4? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/32 "2004-02-11T03:19:14Z")
> [@Kulau](#): > > But I don’t! She’s a year old and she still doesn’t have a name. Come on almighty oracle, help me out. She has a name. She has already told you what it is. You already know what it is. You need to stop searching and find. You need to stop asking and listen. Go to her, and watch and she will tell you again. Will you listen? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/33 "2004-02-11T03:21:11Z")
Is an oracle capable of giving a straight answer? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/34 "2004-02-11T03:22:08Z")
Chefguy: > [@](#): > > Why is a raven like a writing desk? Be caws. Lobsang: > [@](#): > > What colour is 4? Yellow. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/35 "2004-02-11T03:23:58Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Is an oracle capable of giving a straight answer? The answers are always straight. It is the mind that twists. Free your mind. ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/36 "2004-02-11T03:26:41Z")
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/37 "2004-02-11T03:30:47Z")
De Vena: > [@](#): > > Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? They don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/38 "2004-02-11T03:34:24Z")
What is _your_ question? (In the universe where this was posted without this bracketed sentence the answer would be predictable) ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/39 "2004-02-11T03:35:56Z")
Will the Democrats win the next election, or will the Republicans lose it? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/40 "2004-02-11T03:37:57Z")
Lobsang: > [@](#): > > What is your question? When will you ask me what you really want to know? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561.md?page=3)