# I have become the oracle. I know what you will ask. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561 "2004-02-11T01:03:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/41 "2004-02-11T03:39:07Z")
Will I find true love? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/42 "2004-02-11T03:42:23Z")
Will I get a useful answer? [sub](I could do this all day. But I won’t cos scylla won’t like it)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/43 "2004-02-11T03:43:39Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Will the Democrats win the next election, or will the Republicans lose it? You have answered your own question. ---
**Author:** ![Kulau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b487fb/32.png) [@Kulau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kulau)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/44 "2004-02-11T03:43:44Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > She has a name. She has already told you what it is. You already know what it is. You need to stop searching and find. You need to stop asking and listen. Go to her, and watch and she will tell you again. > > Will you listen? OH. And here was me thinking she was asking for sweetfeed and scratches in her dreamy-spot. Thanks, almightly Oracle. I’ll go and see what she has to say. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/45 "2004-02-11T03:46:50Z")
> [@Blonde](#): > > Will I find true love? Yes. Do not take it or you will lose it. Give it and it will forever be yours. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/46 "2004-02-11T03:48:03Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Will I get a useful answer? You have. Will you decide to use it? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/47 "2004-02-11T03:49:39Z")
> [@Kulau](#): > > OH. And here was me thinking she was asking for sweetfeed and scratches in her dreamy-spot. Thanks, almightly Oracle. I’ll go and see what she has to say. 🙂 You’r welcome. Be sure and tell us when you find out. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/48 "2004-02-11T03:51:37Z")
What question should I ask? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/49 "2004-02-11T03:54:37Z")
> [@Rysdad](#): > > What question should I ask? “What would you like?” Now you must go and find the person who needs to hear that question from you. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/50 "2004-02-11T03:56:11Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > You have. Will you decide to use it? Will I get a usefull answer that I am aware of? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/51 "2004-02-11T04:01:06Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Will I get a usefull answer that I am aware of? When you are aware, you will not have to ask. When you are not, nobody can tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/52 "2004-02-11T04:06:07Z")
Lobsang: Your persistence has revealed much to yourself. I am prepared now to give you what you desire, what draws you. Will you hear? Will you listen? Will you abide? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/53 "2004-02-11T04:12:14Z")
Whether I hear is up to you. I will listen indiscriminately. Whether I abide depends on the answer. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/54 "2004-02-11T04:20:16Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Whether I hear is up to you. > > I will listen indiscriminately. > > Whether I abide depends on the answer. Truly you have shown that you are ready. You are now The Oracle. It falls upon you to monitor this thread and give people the answers that they need until the thread dies or the next Oracle presents itself to you. Use your power wisely. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/55 "2004-02-11T04:22:19Z")
doh! … ---
**Author:** ![kivvik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/cdc98d/32.png) [@kivvik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kivvik)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/56 "2004-02-11T04:33:45Z")
What is the meaning of Life, in a non-numerical form? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/57 "2004-02-11T04:34:44Z")
fourty two. An unwise person cannot be Oracle. Therefore I must cease to exist. The next poster is the Oracle. \ ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/58 "2004-02-11T04:51:39Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > fourty two. > > An unwise person cannot be Oracle. Therefore I must cease to exist. The next poster is the Oracle. > \ I expected more from you than suicide to escape from responsibility. We can’t leave Kivvik without a satisfactory answer. Kivvik: > [@](#): > > What is the meaning of Life, in a non-numerical form? The meaning of life, my sweet… Is who gets eaten and who gets to eat. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/59 "2004-02-11T05:03:28Z")
Truly Master you are wiser than I could imagine. You punished my persistence with responsibility. I have much to learn. I will fade into the background until I feel ready to take the true test. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2004, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/60 "2004-02-11T06:04:59Z")
Well I _had_ a question for the Oracle, but now that **Lobsang** ’s replaced **Scylla** , I guess all this is of no point: 1. What is that entity greater than which nothing can be conceived? 2. Do Evil Nazi Groundhogs [sup]TM[/sup] pose any threat to it? 3. Is your daughter within range of flinging poo at it? I even had a sacrifice prepared (good grief, you heathens, don’t you know how this works? First you give the oracle something to eat, then it spits out an answer for you): a hearty veggie burger I bought at the local Amish 24-hour deli. With **Lobsang** presiding now, I find myself at a loss for questions. I therefor begin with that very question for you, **Lobsang** : Why do I have nothing to ask of you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561.md?page=4)