# I have become the oracle. I know what you will ask. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561 "2004-02-11T01:03:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@Glitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glitch)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/81 "2004-02-13T13:16:58Z")
1. What is budo? 2. Is budo achievable by the modern martial artist? If yes, how? If no, why not? 3. What pirates? ---
**Author:** ![SentientMeat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SentientMeat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SentientMeat)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/82 "2004-02-13T13:41:02Z")
Oracle **Scylla** : Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think I am. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/83 "2004-02-13T13:41:39Z")
> [@Scylla](#): > > I hate to give bad news to nice people. You are sitting with a cup of coffee. Somebody asks you what time it is. You turn your wrist over. The coffee spills into your lap. The way I wear my watch, I can look without spilling. Should I conclude that I am not nice people? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/84 "2004-02-13T16:45:24Z")
**Scylla** You _are_ the Oracle. I bow to your superior Oracleness. I am not worthy. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Corleone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Corleone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Corleone)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/85 "2004-02-13T18:47:38Z")
> [@](#): > > Captain Marvel. He is driven by the mind of a child unsophisticated enough to rationalize weakness in his alter-ego. > > Superman secretly wants to be weak, and can rationalize his own failure hence allowing it. I can find no flaw in this reasoning, yet I am compelled to point out a far greater, more unversal truth: Hulk is strongest one there is. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Corleone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Corleone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Corleone)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/86 "2004-02-13T19:03:20Z")
> [@](#): > > **Chefguy** asked: > Is it safe? Scylla the Rock (on his good days, anyway) overlooked this question. So I’ll answer it. There are three answers, actually. The first one is: “Yes, it’s safe. It’s very safe. It’s so safe you wouldn’t believe it.” The second is: “No, it isn’t safe. Very dangerous. Don’t go there.” But the last, and final answer is: “It isn’t safe.” ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/87 "2004-02-14T03:57:21Z")
> [@Darth Corleone](#): > > Scylla the Rock (on his good days, anyway) overlooked this question. So I’ll answer it. > > There are three answers, actually. The first one is: > > “Yes, it’s safe. It’s very safe. It’s so safe you wouldn’t believe it.” > > The second is: > > “No, it isn’t safe. Very dangerous. Don’t go there.” > > But the last, and final answer is: > > “It isn’t safe.” I remember an intermediary answer, which went something along the lines of AAAAH!!! I DON’T KNOW YOU CRAZY BALD NAZI BASTARD WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT AAAHHHHH! ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/88 "2004-02-14T04:36:16Z")
Regarding the OP, shouldn’t it be “I am become the oracle”? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/89 "2004-02-14T04:39:46Z")
Darth Corleone: How could you suggest I missed that question? I am the oracle. I miss nothing. I didn’t answer it on purpose. It was a… test. Yes, a test, and you have passed. A truly masterful answer, and one of the few times someone picked up on my “Marathon Man” nom de plume. js africanus: > [@](#): > > The way I wear my watch, I can look without spilling. Should I conclude that I am not nice people? No you’re a nice person. Because of this, I will give you a warning. In your future I see a bowl of Jello. It is Spring or early summer. You will eat the Jello with somebody you want to impress. They will tell a joke while you are eating the Jello. You will laugh and accidentally snort a huge chunk of Jello into your sinus. For the next hour, green Jello will drip from your nostrils. This will not give the impressive appearance you were looking for. Bugs will be attracted to the Jello and they will land on your nose. This won’t help either. Stay away from Jello this summer. Trust me. No jello. Glitch: > [@](#): > > 1. What is budo? You are not looking for the common answer here. What you are seeking here cannot be described, only glimpsed. Budo is the state of self-mastery and enlightenment through the path of the martial arts. All disciplines meld. Peace is inevitable, because no violence is possible or even thinkable from or towards one of Budo or towards whatever he lays his attention upon. > [@](#): > > 1. Is budo achievable by the modern martial artist? If yes, how? If no, why not? No. Budo is not an achievement. It cannot be accomplished by striving. It is a state that simply is. It occurs either inevitably or not at all. Budo is not a thing or a place. It is a moment, an instance of being. Transcendence is not to be maintained any more than an instant should last a thousand years. Yet every instant does. > [@](#): > > 1. What pirates? The Pirates of Penzance, of course. Sentientmeat: You have not asked a question. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/90 "2004-02-14T04:44:59Z")
Were you the Democratic nominee for President in 1928, and, if so, why did you hate Roosevelt so much? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/91 "2004-02-14T04:51:48Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > Were you the Democratic nominee for President in 1928, and, if so, why did you hate Roosevelt so much? Yes. Teddy turned his back on me and Tammany Hall in spite of my support and mentoring. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/92 "2004-02-14T05:10:38Z")
Can you figure out why I asked the previous question? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/93 "2004-02-14T05:13:07Z")
You know me personally. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/94 "2004-02-14T05:20:43Z")
There should be a question mark at the end of that. I have no idea why you asked. My oracular powers don’t work when applied to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/95 "2004-02-14T05:22:04Z")
Who will win? ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/96 "2004-02-14T05:23:23Z")
Could you explain FAS #144 (Accounting For Discontinued Operations) - or, as an alternative, tell me what I’ll be doing next weekend? ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/97 "2004-02-14T05:25:49Z")
Do you know of any way in which I (who live on the other coast) would know who you are? ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/98 "2004-02-14T05:29:52Z")
> [@Governor Quinn](#): > > Do you know of any way in which I (who live on the other coast) would know who you are? No. Which is why you’ve aroused my curiosity as it appears you do. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/99 "2004-02-14T05:38:03Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Who will win? Should of thought of the answer when you were The Oracle now, shouldn’t you? 😉 Blonde: > [@](#): > > Could you explain FAS #144 (Accounting For Discontinued Operations) - or, as an alternative, tell me what I’ll be doing next weekend? Sure. Next weekend you will be respiring, eating, sleeping, drinking, your heart will be beating an average of 60 times per minute, and blood will move through your veins. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2004, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-become-the-oracle-i-know-what-you-will-ask/228561/100 "2004-02-14T16:52:01Z")
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