# I have been banned from Old Navy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 24, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804 "2012-02-24T03:34:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/1 "2012-02-24T03:34:19Z")
“We don’t serve your kind here!” That kind being me. I used to buy most of my jeans at Old Navy. They are reasonably priced, and of OK quality. A good bang for the buck. I bought my last pair around Christmas time. But I went to a store recently and they no longer want me in their stores. Oh, I’m welcomed to shop online but it was explained to me that I am a FREAK of NATURE. I guess I scare the normals or at least the women and children. You see, I’m a 36" inseam and that is just too fucking long to be seen in public. Nooooo! “Get out!” they screamed as they threw crew neck tees at me (only $8.99) “Go shop on line you hideous monster.” “I am not an animal” I responded as tried to flee. “I am a human being!” “Get out! Feel free to shop online. We carry jeans for monsters online. You will have to pay a tax for being to ugly to be in our store. We call it shipping but that’s what it really is.” So now the longest inseam in store for jeans is 34 inches. They claim to carry 36" inseams for khakis but you can never find any. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/2 "2012-02-24T03:38:52Z")
Freak. ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/3 "2012-02-24T03:46:54Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Freak. word 34" seam checking in 36"!!! I am surprised they even let you shop online ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/4 "2012-02-24T03:54:27Z")
Hello, freak! I am a twenty-eight incher, myself. (_Gooble gobble, gooble gobble._) ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/5 "2012-02-24T03:57:07Z")
You and your freakishly-long legs that go on forever sicken me. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/6 "2012-02-24T03:58:46Z")
Are you related to Cyd Charisse? ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/7 "2012-02-24T04:04:56Z")
You get free shipping if you spend $50 on their website and you don’t have to sort through piles of jeans. If what you order doesn’t work you can return it to the store, which is no more a pain in the ass than going there to buy jeans would have been. I only go to Old Navy stores to sort through the sale racks. I get a lot of 97c licensed character shirts for my daughter that way. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/8 "2012-02-24T04:05:45Z")
Costco. Better quality. Cheaper. Your size. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/9 "2012-02-24T04:12:12Z")
My friend loves my Old Navy corduroys (as do I), but she is a tiny, tiny woman. I keep telling her that petites are available online, but she only wants to buy them if she can get them in the store. I guess I’ll have to explain to her that she is a freak and her kind are not welcome. Do I still count as a normal if I have to get all of my cords hemmed? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/10 "2012-02-24T04:15:36Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > “We don’t serve your kind here!” Don’t bring your droids next time. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/11 "2012-02-24T04:52:31Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > You see, I’m a 36" inseam and that is just too fucking long to be seen in public. Oh nonsense. The absolute optimal proportions for finding pants in any store involve being 6 foot six and having a 28 inch waist. It has been scientifically proven. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/12 "2012-02-24T04:55:32Z")
This, like most odd bannings, is probably **Marley23** ’s fault. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/13 "2012-02-24T05:34:08Z")
I can’t believe you’re allowed to roam the streets. Isn’t there some island in the North Atlantic where they send people like you? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/14 "2012-02-24T06:00:39Z")
They are height-ist bastards. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/15 "2012-02-24T06:02:40Z")
I think I’ve successfully purchased pants at Old Navy once in my life, perhaps 8 years ago. I’m of average height but 15-20 lbs. underweight and it’s impossible to find pants that fit. Skirts with stretchy waistbands work much better. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/16 "2012-02-24T06:34:06Z")
You go NOW! We Crosed! We dry clean now! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/17 "2012-02-24T06:43:54Z")
You can have surgery to correct your freakish deformity. They’ll remove sections of bone from your legs and then rejoin them to make your legs shorter. They probably have to do some work on the muscles and tendons also. After 6 months healing, and then 6 months to a year of rehab, you should be able to walk into Old Navy with a not too noticable limp and order pants with 34" inseams just like normal people can. ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/18 "2012-02-24T07:34:12Z")
As a superfreak who is at once too short and too stout to be allowed into Old Navy, I offer to trade your excess leg bone with my excess leg fat. After the respective graftings have healed, we’ll both be able to purchase ordinary jeans. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/19 "2012-02-24T08:16:42Z")
Reported for misuse of **Zebra** ’s account, presumably by **Giraffe**. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2012, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804/20 "2012-02-24T11:54:13Z")
Apparently, women only have 3 inseam lengths - Short (or Petite), Average, and Tall. I guess it’s a genetic/hormonal thing. In my experience, “Average” spans about 29.5" to 32" or so my jeans tell me. Life would be so much less complicated if we all just went around nekkid. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-banned-from-old-navy/613804.md?page=2)