# I have been invited to a grad school open house. How should I interpret the invitation? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 22, 2017, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837 "2017-01-22T17:46:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2017, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/1 "2017-01-22T17:46:04Z")
Hey all, I was recently invited to attend a grad school open house for one of the programs I applied to over winter. The program itself is a very competitive fully funded PhD program, and the school is paying for me to attend the open house, including gas mileage reimbursement (it’s in-state, and close enough to drive to) and hotel accommodations for two nights. Shortly after the open house is when official admissions offers will be made. I can’t imagine that I _won’t_ attend the open house, but I’m just curious how to interpret this invitation in general. Are grad school open houses standard procedure for grad school admissions? How comfortable should I feel about my admissions chances into this program, given my invitation to the event? What sorts of questions should I ask faculty at the event? How can I make the strongest impression? Thanks everybody! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2017, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/2 "2017-01-22T18:06:33Z")
This is a good sign. They are interested in you. You are in the “maybe” pile or better. Definitely go. When I did grad admissions we’d invite several interesting “maybe” people to visit. A lot of those turned into “yeses”. (A few times within a couple hours!) Being able to ask people about odd things in the application cleared up doubts. Things to highlight when talking to people: 1. Know who some faculty in your areas of interest are. What they’ve been up to, etc. Show that you are interested in this particular department. But don’t focus on just one prof. Show some broad interests. 2. Be able to point out things you’ve done that are “above and beyond” normal undergrad work. Did you work with a faculty member in research in any way? Write up something _extra_, e.g., for a project? Take any classes at a grad equivalency level? I.e., show that you are “grad school ready”. 3. Don’t be redundant. It’s easy to rely on a few standard statements highlighting your record. Try to avoid saying them repeatedly to essentially the same people. Be a person, not a robot. 4. Talking to the current grad students provides a lot of info. Make sure they feel at ease gossiping with you. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2017, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/3 "2017-01-22T18:35:02Z")
Keep in mind that this is a great opportunity for you to evaluate them, too. Way back in the Stone Age when I was doing this, I pretty much assumed I would go to MIT if I got in. I got invited to an Open House, and I realized I absolutely did NOT want to go there after all. To this day I am very happy about declining to go there for grad school. Things worked out much better for me, I believe, had I stuck with my original plan. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2017, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/4 "2017-01-22T19:06:52Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Keep in mind that this is a great opportunity for you to evaluate them, too. Way back in the Stone Age when I was doing this, I pretty much assumed I would go to MIT if I got in. I got invited to an Open House, and I realized I absolutely did NOT want to go there after all. To this day I am very happy about declining to go there for grad school. Things worked out much better for me, I believe, had I stuck with my original plan. Sorry, can I ask you to clarify? I think you meant “Things worked out much better for me, I believe, than they would have if I had stuck with my original plan,” am I right? If I may ask, what was your area of graduate study? (Idle curiosity on my part, nothing more; I have a soft spot for MIT.) (Apologies for the side note to your thread, 2ManyTacos. ) ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2017, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/5 "2017-01-22T22:44:00Z")
I’m not speaking for **John Mace** but MIT has a very self-smugness about it. A lot of the people there think it’s the best college in the Universe and everywhere else is garbage. So some departments prefer to admit their own grads into graduate school (something a lot of places discourage). A famous example of someone who eschewed MIT because of this is Richard Feynman. He decided to go to Princeton after MIT. He never regretted it. It can be quite difficult to deal with someone from MIT because they have an “I’m from MIT, you’re not. Therefore I’m right.” attitude. This is so well known that it counters some of the advantages of an MIT grad degree when job hunting. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/6 "2017-01-23T02:28:32Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I’m not speaking for **John Mace** but MIT has a very self-smugness about it. A lot of the people there think it’s the best college in the Universe and everywhere else is garbage. So some departments prefer to admit their own grads into graduate school (something a lot of places discourage). > > A famous example of someone who eschewed MIT because of this is Richard Feynman. He decided to go to Princeton after MIT. He never regretted it. > > It can be quite difficult to deal with someone from MIT because they have an “I’m from MIT, you’re not. Therefore I’m right.” attitude. This is so well known that it counters some of the advantages of an MIT grad degree when job hunting. My uncle taught there, and he was an arrogant asshole. OTOH, my husband is an MIT grad and he is the most gentle, self-effacing guy you’d ever want to meet. I suppose it depends on who you know/what department you frequent. Anyway, that wasn’t what I was asking **John Mace**. I just wanted to confirm that he thinks MIT would have been a mistake for him. His last sentence is missing a few words, I think. (And as beloved a Feynman was, he could be a bit of ass too, I guess. Though I’d take Feynman over my uncle any day!) ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/7 "2017-01-23T03:54:16Z")
> [@](#): > > And as beloved a Feynman was, he could be a bit of ass too Of course. He _did_ go to MIT. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/8 "2017-01-23T04:26:58Z")
My degree was in Physics. I didn’t mean to dis MIT-- it’s obvious a fine school. It just wasn’t for me. I was pretty goal oriented, and when I talked to the grads there, it seemed like too many were “professional students”, with little interest in when they were going to finish up their degrees. This was back in the 1970s, so things may have changed now. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/9 "2017-01-23T04:48:47Z")
I went to some of these when I was applying to MA programs a few years ago and was absolutely flabbergasted by how many of the other applicants brought their parents with them to the open house. In fact, I was actually one of the only ones there without parents, across four separate open houses. I was 21 at the time and it simply never occurred to me to bring them–in fact, I thought it would be seen as a negative, like I was an adult but couldn’t handle the process myself. Blew me away to see them all, like we were back in high school or something. I would hope Ph.D open houses are different! It made it hard to get to know the other applicants with all these parents hovering and observing. ---
**Author:** ![Evan\_Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@Evan\_Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evan_Drake)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/10 "2017-01-23T15:03:31Z")
Having impressive parents can only be a plus to those evaluating. Quiet, well-bred. Expensive but not garish old clothes, highly intelligent, reeking of old money, with a fund of fascinating anecdotes, short grey beard for papa, long hair and pearls for mama; the implication of being able to do great things for those they like… Yes, they can be _yours_ for a mere $5k a night plus travel expenses and sandwiches. References required. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/11 "2017-01-23T16:55:38Z")
Bringing parents to anything not specifically set up to include them for _any_ level of college is a bad thing. Don’t do this. Be an adult. For something like a grad school applicant get together, this is really, really, really bad. It doesn’t matter who your parents are, what they look like, etc. Do _not_ do this! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/12 "2017-01-23T17:42:08Z")
> [@chizzuk](#): > > I went to some of these when I was applying to MA programs a few years ago and was absolutely flabbergasted by how many of the other applicants brought their parents with them to the open house. How bizarre. It wouldn’t cross my mind in a million years to bring my parents. That would be like bringing them to a job interview. ---
**Author:** ![Evan\_Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@Evan\_Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evan_Drake)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/13 "2017-01-23T18:18:11Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > That would be like bringing them to a job interview. Sit up straight ! ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2017, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/14 "2017-01-23T23:29:41Z")
This sounds kind of petty, but from experience. . . call faculty “professor” (or doctor) and any staff "ms"or “mr.” I did so and was later told that some professors were offended by the over familiarity of some prospective student attendees. (I took an offer at the school. Personally I don’t care if my students call me Hyena Q. Jennshark, but some profs like formality. Also, don’t discuss moola (fellowships and so on) at the soiree. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/15 "2017-01-24T04:13:19Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > This is a good sign. They are interested in you. You are in the “maybe” pile or better. Definitely go. > > When I did grad admissions we’d invite several interesting “maybe” people to visit. A lot of those turned into “yeses”. (A few times within a couple hours!) Being able to ask people about odd things in the application cleared up doubts. Thanks for the advice. I’ve already apprised the program that I will be attending the open house, but out of curiosity, how common is it for programs to do admissions decisions _in this order?_ I.e., inviting _potential_ admits to the open house as opposed to applicants who have _already_ been admitted? I just ask because a few profs I’ve spoken to about this have little experience with admissions decisions being made in the former way as opposed to the latter. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/16 "2017-01-24T15:12:49Z")
> [@2ManyTacos](#): > > Thanks for the advice. I’ve already apprised the program that I will be attending the open house, but out of curiosity, how common is it for programs to do admissions decisions _in this order?_ I.e., inviting _potential_ admits to the open house as opposed to applicants who have _already_ been admitted? I just ask because a few profs I’ve spoken to about this have little experience with admissions decisions being made in the former way as opposed to the latter. Just about all practices within a department are all over the place. But inviting the better applicants happened at both places I worked at that had grad programs. This is Computer Science, we tend to not to stick to old fashioned “we’ve always done it this way” methods. Money might be a limiting factor in a lot of departments. But I know that places without much cash would still suggest applicants to visit if they could despite no subsidy being available. ---
**Author:** ![lazybratsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ba8739/32.png) [@lazybratsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lazybratsche)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2017, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/17 "2017-01-24T15:27:33Z")
My graduate program figures out how many students they plan to admit, based on program and and individual faculty funding. They then invite 2-3x as many of the top prospective students for interviews. After the interviews, they rank the applicants and start sending acceptance offers to the top applicants. Many of those applicants will accept offers from other schools, and when they do the program continues sending acceptance offers to the next applicant on the list. Essentially, by even getting an invite the applicant is already on a wait list, though a few applicants get rejection letters after a really unimpressive interview. Most of the programs I applied to worked in roughly similar ways. One little tip: pay attention to the general attitude and sanity of grad students in the program. At one of my interviews, all the older grad students were extremely bitter and some appeared to be on the edge of a breakdown. The only time I saw any hint of happiness among them was during the “free alcohol” part of the interview weekend. Some programs have a strong institutional culture of treating their grad students like disposable cheap labor. ---
**Author:** ![2ManyTacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/3da27b/32.png) [@2ManyTacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2ManyTacos)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/18 "2017-03-07T23:49:29Z")
FYI I got a rejection letter from the program today, a little more than a week after the open house event. Devastated. As. Hell. But I guess that goes with the territory. This rejection also means that the odds of me _ever_ going to grad school - at least in the near term - are slim to none. Going into a MA-only program is also unlikely because those generally aren’t funded; the opportunity cost of cash spent on degree vs. lost wages is simply too great. Onto other pursuits it seems! ---
**Author:** ![Evan\_Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b487fb/32.png) [@Evan\_Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evan_Drake)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2017, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/19 "2017-03-07T23:52:16Z")
Sorry, very bad luck. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2017, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-been-invited-to-a-grad-school-open-house-how-should-i-interpret-the-invitation/777837/20 "2017-03-08T00:05:46Z")
Bummer, I’m sorry to hear that. And thanks for coming back to the thread to update it.