# I have cut off my own testicles... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762 "2007-10-23T21:37:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/41 "2007-10-24T19:19:03Z")
[QUOTE=Miss Woodhouse] I have owned three Dodge minivans, and have never had a problem with the turn signal or the wipers, so it may not be a ubiquitous problem. My 2005 does have fewer miles on it. I guess I need to start paying attention to the turn signal. I do love mine though. I love the stow and go bins and the fold flat back seat. It’s amazing how much crap you can cram into one of these much reviled beauties. [/QUOTE] There must be a big variety of models in Chrysler’s line of vans. My back seat does not stow. The back folds to meet the seat-top and it can be manhandled from the floor. It’s mentioned in the manual that the seats may fold and stow into the floor boards and if so the spare is someplace odd, under the driver’s seating area. Mine is not this model it seems. The only bin I have is under the front passenger seat. The middle bench has a bracket that I thought was for some sort of (missing) fold-out cup-holder thing (suggested but not pictured in the manual) but it looks like the same dimensions as the front-seat bin holder, too. I used to drive a Ford Explorer, a lifetime ago, and it always surprised me how little cargo space there was in it. That high rear deck really consumed the cubic feet. A mini-van with the seats removed is huuuge. The manual suggests I could lay plywood on top of the folded bench seats. Haven’t tried that yet, of course. The turn-signal problem is clearly a mechanical problem with the ratchet thing that release the handle back to the center. I don’t think its the electrical problem described by **eleanorigby**. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/42 "2007-10-24T19:21:25Z")
I forgot to warn you. Check your tire sizes. Mine are an oddball size and I can’t find them for any cheaper than $100 a tire. The time to find that out is NOT when you are flat-ass broke and desperately need a tire, ONE tire. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/43 "2007-10-24T19:23:30Z")
I think that anyone who drives a non-compact car has a pair. I would barely want to drive a station wagon let alone a minivan considering how little room there is on each side on the highway. Heck, the Dodge Neon was almost too wide for me. So at least pat yourself on the back that you will still have a driving challenge. ETA: and they told me the Neon was a girly car. And so is the Mustang, I guess, but it felt like it still had a solid grip on the road at 120 mph. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/44 "2007-10-24T19:23:40Z")
Boink your girlfriend in the back of the van. You’ll feel a little better about that whole soccer dad vibe. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/45 "2007-10-24T19:29:02Z")
I had a '98 Grand Caravan for a while. I never felt it had any effect on my masculinity. My fiancee (whom I first met after I got the Caravan) said she never thought anything of it, she claims a more flashy/macho car would have been a negative. However I’m sorry to say it’s been the most unreliable vehicle I’ve ever had. I have the turn signal issue as well. And I’ve had endless trouble with squeaking belts - they’ve replaced the belt once, the belt tensioner twice, fixed a leaky gasket near the belt, and the darn thing still squeaks. I got an '83 Mercedes 240D later (I have both right now) and this 25-year old car is proving to be more reliable, _and_ gets 50% better gas mileage. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/46 "2007-10-24T19:36:10Z")
I had a coworker who _swore_ he would never buy a minivan. Never, ever, no way, no how, not gonna happen, forget it! His wife got pregnant. That’s ok, one kid, don’t need a minivan. They traded in their car (I forget what it was) and got something a bit bigger, to more easily fit the car seat through the back door, but that’s ok. It wasn’t a minivan. His wife got pregnant again, about a year later. No problem! Two car seats fit in the back of this still-new car! That was part of the reason they bought it, so the family could grow! All is good! Wait?.. What?.. TWINS!!! Yep. He bought a minivan! He was devastated. To make it worse (at least, in my opinion) is that he bought the same boring, vomit-brown Odyssey half the employees at that company had! It was weird, there was a whole segment of the parking lot with nearly identical cars. He couldn’t have found a blue one or something? ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/47 "2007-10-24T19:45:29Z")
Cruise control and air conditioning?!? I can only dream of such luxuries. I recently got [this](http://www.cafepress.com/buy/i%27d+rather+be+quilting/-/pv_design_prod/pg_1/p_storeid.117912393/pNo_117912393/id_18317690/opt_/fpt_/c_666/) for my baby; nothing says hot young thing more. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/48 "2007-10-24T19:55:16Z")
[QUOTE=mnemosyne] Wait?.. What?.. TWINS!!! Yep. He bought a minivan! [/QUOTE] You know, once you get to 5 butts sitting at once, the options fall-off rapidly. Three across seating on a back seat only works these days for children on all but the largest vehicles. I told the salesman I was looking for three rows of seats, cruise, air, and a radio. That was my shopping list. Pretty much what I got. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/49 "2007-10-24T19:59:32Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] Cruise control and air conditioning?!? I can only dream of such luxuries. I recently got [this](http://www.cafepress.com/buy/i%27d+rather+be+quilting/-/pv_design_prod/pg_1/p_storeid.117912393/pNo_117912393/id_18317690/opt_/fpt_/c_666/) for my baby; nothing says hot young thing more. 🆒 [/QUOTE] I take it she’s married? You’re probably chasing off the young studs with this. Hmmm… I wonder if this comes in my daughter’s size… ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/50 "2007-10-24T20:44:40Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] This thread, plus the “whipped” threads, are some of the most depressing things I’ve read here. They just show evidence of such an anti-family mindset in North America. No wonder we have problems. [/QUOTE] Bollocks. The tame, vanilla, beige, blameless, milquetoast, pro-family movement is alive and well here in the good ol’ USA, my friend. The great heaping mounds of tawdry, plastic, sweatshop-made crap that litters both suburban lawns and landfills is concrete evidence of that fact. As far as the OP, well, getting a minivan would lead to the death of my soul. I, however, neither have nor want kids, nor am I ‘anti’ kids, though I do think with the constant barrage of meaningless crap we subject them to, we’re busily ruining the next generation. Sorry you had to get a minivan, dude, but glad you did. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/51 "2007-10-24T20:47:07Z")
[QUOTE=Belrix] I take it she’s married? You’re probably chasing off the young studs with this. [/QUOTE] Oops, I meant my baby is my car. I be the quilter. I have to treat my “baby” Civic well–he just got valued at $500 and I need him to bounce back from that indignity and carry me 70,000 more miles at least. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/52 "2007-10-24T21:24:39Z")
She thinks mini vans are sexy? Does she have a sister? 😃 I lurve my Nissan Quest. I’ve owned a 1993, a 1998 and now this used 2001. All bought used. All ran great. My 16 year old daughter gives me schpielkas about driving a Soccer Mom Car. You’ve given me hope !!! I will drive this thing until it dies a natural death. Great things, mini vans. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2007, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762/53 "2007-10-24T21:29:38Z")
[QUOTE=buttonjockey308] Bollocks. The tame, vanilla, beige, blameless, milquetoast, pro-family movement is alive and well here in the good ol’ USA, my friend. [/QUOTE] The very fact that someone can in all seriousness describe ‘pro-family’ activities as ‘tame, vanilla, beige, blameless, milquetoast’ is part of the problem. The implication that one loses one’s personal power, one’s individuality, one’s attractiveness, the colour and music in one’s life, by participating in family-related activities, is part of the problem. That negative portrayal of family activities is part of the problem. Family–the art of raising and supporting sane and healthy people–_is_ the most important thing we can do as a society. All else is suppoort and infrastructure. And yes, recreation is part of that support. There need to be adult places for the adults in the world as well as children’s places for the children; in no way do I believe that the entire world should be Made Safe For Children. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-cut-off-my-own-testicles/423762.md?page=2)