# I have decided to become a jerk **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 28, 2011, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546 "2011-05-28T08:35:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/1 "2011-05-28T08:35:58Z")
Because frankly, being a great guy is a lot of work and jerks are the ones who really reap the tangible benefits in life. So really, what is the point in being reasonable and kind? To hell with that. Oh, and that means Im going to totally use words like, “irregardless” and say things like “from whence.” And leave out randomn apostrophies and disregard spelling and gramer. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/2 "2011-05-28T08:56:07Z")
Awaiting confirmation bias. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/3 "2011-05-28T09:20:33Z")
I was thinking of becoming a scam artist and selling bogus crap for large sums of money. About 20% of the world does this kind of thing, if not more, and seems to get away with it scot free. I want a piece of that action. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/4 "2011-05-28T09:34:13Z")
You’ll find no shortage of role models to choose from. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/5 "2011-05-28T10:14:48Z")
“Become”? ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/6 "2011-05-28T10:22:05Z")
Nah. This is like an introvert deciding to become an extrovert. You may be _more_ of a jerk than you are now, but you’ll never reach the level of us naturals. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/7 "2011-05-28T13:47:10Z")
Do you mean a Soda Jerk? Because I’m not sure that’s a wise job choice. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/8 "2011-05-28T16:13:51Z")
For a minute there I was worried you had decided to drop your meds… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/9 "2011-05-28T16:48:57Z")
You’ll get more pussy, if my experience is accurate. Joe ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/10 "2011-05-28T17:00:09Z")
So, being a jerk is a choice now, is it? I guess next we’ll be hearing about the ‘jerk agenda’. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/11 "2011-05-28T17:05:48Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > So, being a jerk is a choice now, is it? I guess next we’ll be hearing about the ‘jerk agenda’. Good name for a band. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/12 "2011-05-28T18:11:41Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Because frankly, being a great guy is a lot of work and jerks are the ones who really reap the tangible benefits in life. So really, what is the point in being reasonable and kind? Virtue is its own reward. Sanctimony is a bonus, too. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/13 "2011-05-28T19:54:18Z")
Already tried that myself for the same reasons. Doesn’t work. If you’re not a natural jerk, you’ll never enjoy being a jerk. Jerkdom is a privilege. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/14 "2011-05-28T20:19:13Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Good name for a band. Did Teenage Jesus drop out of the lineup? ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Bundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@Al\_Bundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Bundy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/15 "2011-05-28T20:36:40Z")
Please tell us you plan to keep wearing pants though. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/16 "2011-05-28T20:39:57Z")
Welcome. Glad you came. Here’s your Desire Chip. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/17 "2011-05-29T18:16:00Z")
I’ve tried it, with some degree of success, but good manners are hard to shake. You might be able to act like a jerk, but it’s going to take a while until you stop cringing. For maximum desensitizing, I recommend hitting a war zone or developing country for a few months. When you get back, you’ll be able to deliver bad news while yawning, and hop over corpses without blinking. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/18 "2011-05-29T19:45:52Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > For maximum desensitizing, I recommend hitting a war zone or developing country for a few months. Or just move to New York. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2011, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/19 "2011-05-29T21:48:00Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > “Become”? This reply was just too easy and too obvious. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/20 "2011-05-30T03:34:17Z")
> [@Scuba\_Ben](#): > > This reply was just too easy and too obvious. It’s alright, I’m taking lessons from Buster Chi Chi. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546.md?page=2)