# I have decided to become a jerk **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 28, 2011, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546 "2011-05-28T08:35:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/21 "2011-05-30T04:51:15Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Oh, and that means Im going to totally use words like, “irregardless” and say things like “from whence.” And leave out randomn apostrophies and disregard spelling and gramer. Have you considered instead becoming a real stickler for grammar? When someone makes an error, correct them an call them dumb. _That’s_ being a jerk, and you won’t have to suffer grammatical fools gladly. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2011, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/22 "2011-05-30T10:19:38Z")
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**Author:** ![Neptunian\_Slug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Neptunian\_Slug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neptunian_Slug)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/23 "2011-05-31T01:51:50Z")
Forget about it. Believe me, it takes years of practice and at this stage of my training, I am not even in the top ranks of office jerks. You’ll just be outed as a Costanza-esque poser. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/24 "2011-05-31T01:55:46Z")
[This](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079367/) will be a must watch for you. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/25 "2011-05-31T07:45:49Z")
Huh. Turns out this isn’t a zombie thread. :rolleyes: Read and learn, young padawan ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/26 "2011-05-31T08:35:28Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Have you considered instead becoming a real stickler for grammar? When someone makes an error, correct them \*\*an \*\*call them dumb. _That’s_ being a jerk, and you won’t have to suffer grammatical fools gladly. See bolding, jerk! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/27 "2011-05-31T13:15:32Z")
> [@Martiju](#): > > See bolding, jerk! > > 🙂 Bolding, did you mean italics? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/28 "2011-05-31T14:32:05Z")
No, I meant bolding. The italics were already there. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/29 "2011-05-31T16:15:05Z")
As with anyone claiming to be ‘smarter than average’, but never actually is, in my experience, people proudly proclaiming they’re going to ‘become a jerk’, because being otherwise is not getting them anywhere, already are jerks, and that’s the real reason it’s not going well for them. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/30 "2011-05-31T17:01:56Z")
> [@Martiju](#): > > See bolding, jerk! > > 🙂 Y̶e̶a̶h̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶e̶d̶i̶t̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶d̶o̶w̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶.̶ Err, I mean, I was deliberately giving **Inigo Montoya** ammunition. Yeah, that’s the ticket… ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/31 "2011-05-31T21:34:48Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Already tried that myself for the same reasons. Doesn’t work. If you’re not a natural jerk, you’ll never enjoy being a jerk. Jerkdom is a privilege. Sorry. Agreed. Being a jerk is hard work, even if you’re born with a degree of jerkness. I settled for being clueless and completely insensitive. It’s a lot easier. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/32 "2011-05-31T21:52:23Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Virtue is its own reward. Sanctimony is a bonus, too. I know several sanctimonious jerks. As for myself, I think sociopath is the way to go. You can be an outwardly nice guy when it’s to your advantage, a jerk when appropriate, and a relentless killing machine if necessary. I don’t see any negatives. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/33 "2011-06-01T00:10:06Z")
Being a jerk on the internet won’t get you pussy though. You have to do it in real life, a skill I sadly lack as well ☹ ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/34 "2011-06-01T00:23:46Z")
> [@wheresgeorge04](#): > > You’ll get more pussy, if my experience is accurate. > > Joe Yup ---
**Author:** ![HeadNinja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b4bc9f/32.png) [@HeadNinja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeadNinja)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/35 "2011-06-01T14:51:13Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > As with anyone claiming to be ‘smarter than average’, but never actually is, in my experience, people proudly proclaiming they’re going to ‘become a jerk’, because being otherwise is not getting them anywhere, already are jerks, and that’s the real reason it’s not going well for them. So you’re saying the magic was in him all along? ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/36 "2011-06-01T15:13:23Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Virtue is its own reward. Sanctimony is a bonus, too. And sanctimony runs back to jerkishness. Loop closed. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![newcomer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e5b9ba/32.png) [@newcomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newcomer)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/37 "2011-06-01T17:23:41Z")
"Jerk store called… " 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2011, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/38 "2011-06-01T18:48:56Z")
Originally posted by **Inigo Montoya** \*\*I have decided to become a jerk \*\* I question your level of commitment, **Inigo**. Our records show that you are not attending the meetings and the treasurer notes that you are 12 months behind in paying your dues. That sounds like a year’s arrears to our ears. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2011, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546/39 "2011-06-02T09:14:06Z")
That would certainly be a jerkish thing to do, wouldn’t it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-decided-to-become-a-jerk/583546.md?page=1)