# I have finally conquered a 15-year old computer game. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 18, 2005, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553 "2005-08-18T07:19:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tellmei_mnotcrazy/32/3419_2.png) [@TellMeI\_mNotCrazy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TellMeI_mNotCrazy)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/61 "2005-08-20T05:16:19Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > Bleah. It took me forever to get through that damn maze, and that made me lose all interest in the game. The ending is soon after that. I hope I’m not spoiling anything by telling you that the ending is very, very anticlimactic – if anything, I’m saving you the trouble of feeling that you’re missing out on something. > That was what made me stop playing _Return to Zork_, and it doesn’t bug me in the least that I’m never going to play that game ever again. One of the things I liked best about _Zork: Grand Inquisitor_ (great game, IMO) was when one of the characters (I think it was the one Starbuck played) gets drunk and just before passing out, mumbles “want some rye? 'Course you do!” Grand Inquisitor was great fun. Course that was the only Zork game that I finished in one sitting… ---
**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/62 "2005-08-20T06:15:40Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > I liked playing Montezuma’s Revenge, but kept dying. Same with Spelunker. It’s hard to beat montezuma’s revenge, just take the pepto and stay near the toliet 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/63 "2005-08-20T07:11:25Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Pitfall II has an end, but I’m pretty sure the first one just goes on and on, the point being to see who can rack up the highest score. No, the original **Pitfall** can be won if you gather all of the treasures before time runs out. Like it’s that easy… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/64 "2005-08-20T12:49:10Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > No, the original **Pitfall** can be won if you gather all of the treasures before time runs out. Like it’s that easy… 😉 One guy did [it](http://www.ccagshow.com/CCAG2001/docTomZjabasPicturesofCCAG2001Page4.html). Nothing like being able to put on your resume, “First person to get a perfect score in Pitfall”. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/65 "2005-08-20T18:35:16Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > No, the original **Pitfall** can be won if you gather all of the treasures before time runs out. Like it’s that easy… 😉 The original _Pitfall_ had exactly 256 screens, and if you know where to get the stuff it’s not exactly easy to beat but it’s not terribly hard. You just make a beeline for where the stuff is and if you make no mistakes you can do it. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2005, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/66 "2005-08-20T22:06:35Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > Yes!! Loved that game. The heat-seeking missles they’d fire at you were the bane of my existence. I got to be a pro at that game. That, and Infiltrator II. I shoulda been a helicopter pilot. I remember playing a game like that many years ago. Was it where you had to blow the oppositions ships up before they completed building them- one of them anyway. ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/67 "2005-08-21T20:22:15Z")
I beat _Hacker_ back in the day, but found it pretty unsatisfying. I did it essentially by brute force - working through every feasible combination of buying/selling, and then finding the precise path to follow. My memory of it’s pretty hazy, though I think you made some apparently random moves at times to catch the satellites right (and it was difficult in the section where you couldn’t see your vehicle - maybe there was a hidden tunnel?). (I doubt that spoiler will help, but I protected it anyway). I got frustrated and finally gave up on _The Lurking Horror_ after four years of trying. I recently found out what I was missing (by reading a walkthrough)- You had to force open elevator doors by hand, and then stick an axe in to hold them while you jumped down. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t elevator doors require hundreds of lbs of force to stay open? There were a few games I could never finish : _The Last Ninja_ (C-64) : I couldn’t even get out of the first region. It appeared you had to do a jump across a stream, but the water was so extremely toxic that if you any part of you touched it you would die. I tried over and over for months off and on and finally gave up. \*Rambo: First Blood Part II \*(Apple II) : The text adventure, not the ‘Commando’-style vertical scroller. You could get fairly far by following the plot of the movie, but nobody I knew could get past the torture sequence. _Rendezvous with Rama_ (C-64) : I came to a point where I had a metal rod, and some hole that I knew it had to go in ( I even found a hintbook that said as much), but no sentence would work. I imagine it was something like “EMBED BILLET IN FORAMEN”. One of the things that was preferable about Infocom games, especially in later games, was the wealth of synonyms. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2005, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/68 "2005-08-21T21:41:42Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > I got pretty far with it, but kept breaking too many joysticks. I wish it were still available. I think there is a new variant, X Universe or something, which I bought but it was so buggy I gave it away. A spot of Googling will turn up a site with downloads. As the site is maintained by the guy who was the brains behind **Elite** , I’m guessing it’s kosher. In a strange coincidence, I found and downloaded it only today. Gah, learning to dock again after the better part of 20 years… :eek: ☹ :smack: :mad: ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/69 "2005-08-22T19:48:01Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Some game manufacturers have stopped trying to protect their copyright on abandonware games, and have more or less turned a blind eye to such infringement, if not outright allowed it. I don’t know Activision’s position on these products, hence I’ve emailed them to see if they have an official stance on it. For thoese interested, the Activision people at customer support have no idea on the legality, just that the first three Zorks were distributed for free by Activision, as has already been mentioned. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/70 "2005-08-22T21:24:29Z")
> [@panamajack](#): > > I got frustrated and finally gave up on _The Lurking Horror_ after four years of trying. I recently found out what I was missing (by reading a walkthrough)- > > You had to force open elevator doors by hand, and then stick an axe in to hold them while you jumped down. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t elevator doors require hundreds of lbs of force to stay open? As it happens, I was stuck in an elevator at work last Monday, and got out by forcing the doors open bare-handed from the inside, while the maintenance guy forced open the outer doors with a small prybar. Not easy to do, but certainly possible using brute strength and a simple lever… ---
**Author:** ![panamajack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/47e85d/32.png) [@panamajack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panamajack)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2005, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/71 "2005-08-22T22:31:29Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > As it happens, I was stuck in an elevator at work last Monday, and got out by forcing the doors open bare-handed from the inside, while the maintenance guy forced open the outer doors with a small prybar. Not easy to do, but certainly possible using brute strength and a simple lever… I’m corrected per my request. Sorry you got stuck in there. In my defense, I doubt I could have managed it as a 12-year-old; I guess I didn’t put myself in the position of a college freshman (the protaganist of the game). ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/72 "2005-08-24T13:16:22Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > For me, it was Montezuma’s Revenge for the C64. I coulda beat it if I’d ever bothered to make a map, I think, but where’s the fun in that? There is no end to Montezuma’s Revenge. There are nine levels, and nine floors. After each level another one floor from the bottom would become dark so on the last one the whole thing was dark. Then you went back through the ninth level forever, or until you got bored. I loved that game as a kid, I’d probably still play it just as it is if they had it on the Playstation. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553/73 "2005-08-24T13:33:51Z")
> [@Edward The Head](#): > > There is no end to Montezuma’s Revenge. There are nine levels, and nine floors. After each level another one floor from the bottom would become dark so on the last one the whole thing was dark. Then you went back through the ninth level forever, or until you got bored. I loved that game as a kid, I’d probably still play it just as it is if they had it on the Playstation. My brother and I played it on the PC until it got all dark. There was a torch mid-way, though, that made the whole game light up again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-finally-conquered-a-15-year-old-computer-game/317553.md?page=3)