# I have five very VERY unhappy cats.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 6, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247 "2005-03-06T22:02:23Z")
**Posts on this page:** 12
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)
#### Post date: [March 6, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/1 "2005-03-06T22:02:23Z")
Today was Neuter Scooter day! I was able to get vouchers for bucks off\*, so I took the four females and one male to be spayed/neutered. Happy, happy day, no more kittens for us!
The cats aren’t quite so charmed by the whole idea, unfortunately. The kittens, Bobbin and Backstitch, just look very confused and worried, but seem to be feeling pretty okay. Cloud, the oldest female, was (I think) pregnant, and she is still out pretty solidly. The one time she raised her head, she gave me the I’m-dying-here look before conking out again. Steve-the-girl is just entirely pissed off and will NOT discuss this whole issue. And Buckley, man that he is, immediately lurched out of his crate and started chowing down on cat food.
Poor kitties. Hopefully everyone will be back on their catfeet tomorrow.
\*Bless the Neuter Scooter! Four spays, one neuter, vaccinations all around, and pain meds all around, for $130. Can’t beat that! (Putting my tax return to good use, hmm?)
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### Author:  [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)
#### Post date: [March 6, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/2 "2005-03-06T22:33:00Z")
Your pussycats will live longer, happier lives because you cared enough to neuter them. I do think that, if the terms of the deal were set out in writing, most cats would sign their little pawprints: “I, the undersigned, do hereby agree to give up my reproductive capability in return for a lifetime of affection, shelter, good food, toys, and an occasional catnip party.”
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### Author:  [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)
#### Post date: [March 6, 2005, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/3 "2005-03-06T22:43:53Z")
> [@bodypoet](#):
>
> The cats aren’t quite so charmed by the whole idea, unfortunately. The kittens, Bobbin and Backstitch, just look very confused and worried
“C’mere, kitties”
[grabbing and struggling ensures]
[dark box]
[light]
“AAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
[dark box]
[kittens released]
“What _THE FUCK_ was that!?”
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### Author:  [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/4 "2005-03-07T02:34:31Z")
Whatever happened to Bounce? I don’t see him mentioned.
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### Author:  [@robinc308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robinc308)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/5 "2005-03-07T02:47:50Z")
Heh. Your cats should compare notes with my sister’s cats.
They got shoved in a box, flown across the country, dumped out at a new house (with stairs, no less) in a hot, humid climate, and then the kitten got whisked off to be spayed. She most certainly has not forgiven my sister.
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### Author:  [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/6 "2005-03-07T03:07:06Z")
Due to Oakland Animal Control being evil and incompetent, we landed out picking up Ms. Penelope (aka The Baby, Mrs. Wittle, and Superfreak) straight from the animal hospital where she had been spayed approximately one hour before our arrival. Fortunately she turned out to be one of those kitties who isn’t frightened by anything (except jazz clarinet, but then again who could blame her?).
The anesthetic took a couple hours to wear off and for most of that time she couldn’t move her back legs. This didn’t bother her, she was like a swami’s snake in a jug, her lil black and cinnamon head just kinda bobbed around in all directions, checking everything out with the biggest tiny kitty eyes. She’s a darn cool kitty and she keeps the grumpy ole men hoppin’.
Count me in as wondering what happened to the cute and resilient lil kitty Bounce.
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### Author:  [@Red\_Stilettos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Stilettos)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/7 "2005-03-07T03:07:33Z")
When my parents’ overly grouchly cat Louie got neutered, he was not happy about it. He got carsick on the way to the vet. While he was out, the vet noticed that his baby teeth hadn’t fallen out, so they removed him. By the time Louie got home, he was carsick again with no teeth and no balls. Everyone in the house knew he was pissed.
This always make me think of the Far Side cartoon where the dog is riding off in the car, shouting to the dog next door, “I’m off to the vet to get tutored!” :smack:
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### Author:  [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2005, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/8 "2005-03-07T04:49:20Z")
In _French for Cats_ there’s a hysterical drawing of a cat, laying on it’s back on a vet’s table, looking up with a horrified expression on it’s face. The caption reads, “I do not wish to go to the vet to be neutered” with the French translation below.
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### Author:  [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2005, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/9 "2005-03-07T08:08:09Z")
Good for you! People who don’t get their cats spayed or nuetered are evil scum.
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### Author:  [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2005, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/10 "2005-03-07T12:41:57Z")
My wifes ex is a vet.
So when we got a little boy kitten, he stopped by, and cleared the dining room table.
The cat was soon asleep on the table (for the first and last time in his life).
I coped with the scissors to trim the fur.
I gulped and coped with the scalpel blade - slice, slice
The forceps made me queasy.
I almost died with the _stretch_. The vas was pulled out a HUGE distance - 20-30cm - before cutting. My lower gut ached in sympathy for hours.
Poor cat.
Simon
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### Author:  [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)
#### Post date: [March 7, 2005, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/11 "2005-03-07T23:26:10Z")
Heh. I forgot to mention Bounce…Bounce, the sneaky running-away-and-hiding cat who has to go to Neuter Scooter NEXT time because he is too clever (even though he is kinda loopy, apparently he knows all the good hiding places) to get caught, stuffed into a kitty carrier, and hauled away to the vet.
After the other cats saw the first two or three captured and encrated, they got pretty scarce. I found 'em all but him, and now he’s strutting around being the only Very Manly Cat in the house. He’s very impressed with himself.
I bet he was hiding in the dryer. 😃
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### Author:  [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)
#### Post date: [March 8, 2005, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-five-very-very-unhappy-cats/293247/12 "2005-03-08T04:06:40Z")
That Neuter Scooter thingy is such a deal! I paid a bit more for only my two girls and that was with a discount from the Humane Society.
Does it make me a bad person that I laughed my head off to watch my kitties wobble about after surgery? Don’t make my same mistake-- take pictures.