# I have found Jesus! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026 "2003-10-23T02:34:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Palve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a698b9/32.png) [@Palve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palve)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/1 "2003-10-23T02:34:13Z")
He was under the couch. ---
**Author:** ![JimSox5](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b5a626/32.png) [@JimSox5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JimSox5)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/2 "2003-10-23T02:37:15Z")
So, did you ask Jesus what he was doing under the couch? Or, really, just any details at all of this meeting? ---
**Author:** ![Heloise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e36b37/32.png) [@Heloise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heloise)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/3 "2003-10-23T03:20:47Z")
Wow. I never heard that one before. That’s brand new. I bet OpalCat never heard of that one, either. ---
**Author:** ![Sm\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sm\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sm_e)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/4 "2003-10-23T03:46:00Z")
No more Easter? ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/5 "2003-10-23T03:57:36Z")
WWJD? He’d crawl out from under the damn couch! ---
**Author:** ![cajela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cajela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cajela)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/6 "2003-10-23T03:59:31Z")
I usually find he’s in the back of the beer fridge going all limp and slimy. No, wait. That’s the extra lettuce there was no room for in the main fridge . ---
**Author:** ![Blonde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Blonde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blonde)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/7 "2003-10-23T04:00:52Z")
Was He the last place you left him? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Badger\_Racing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@Atomic\_Badger\_Racing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Badger_Racing)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/8 "2003-10-23T04:09:15Z")
Ooooh, can I have some? ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/9 "2003-10-23T04:20:51Z")
Wait a sec. Send Him back in and see if he can find any loose change. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/10 "2003-10-23T05:23:07Z")
I’m glad to hear it. I put him down when I come in and then, wham, 10 minutes later, he’s gone. Assumed into Heaven, I always thought, but now he’s under your couch. Maybe it’s some kind of weird Narnia thinig? ---
**Author:** ![Svt4Him](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/11 "2003-10-23T05:52:39Z")
Is this funny? Seems kind of stupid and highly insulting, but is it ok because it’s only insulting Christianity? ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/12 "2003-10-23T06:11:43Z")
Jesus is under your couch, and I found Buddha hiding under my stairs and Muhammad behind the curtains. I think maybe they’re playing hide and seek and the Dalai Lama is “it”. Ally, Ally, all come free! ---
**Author:** ![thatDDperson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de0a6/32.png) [@thatDDperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thatDDperson)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/13 "2003-10-23T06:51:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Svt4Him \* > \*\*Is this funny? Seems kind of stupid and highly insulting, but is it ok because it’s only insulting Christianity? \*\* Ya know, if ya had a sense of humor about life and the gentle sharing of one’s beliefs, you’da replied "I never lost Him. You don’t put people off as much that way as you do by getting in a snit. However, sniticizm goes hand in hand with the mindset that cannot accept that one’s own personal experience is only valid for oneself, and that being judgemental and pompous does not further the cause one espouses.😃 ---
**Author:** ![applejamie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@applejamie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/applejamie)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/14 "2003-10-23T07:00:50Z")
I found him at a corner mart. His neck tattoo said so. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/15 "2003-10-23T09:31:20Z")
**Svt4Him** , I have a button which reads “I found Jesus. He was behind the couch all along.” (Apparently He’s since moved.) It’s both a joke, but it’s something else as well. There are some people who may proclaim their faith in Christ, but the only evidence of that faith that they say to others is their habit of saying, “I found Jesus.” To me, it’s a mild rebuke to them and a way of indicating I’m a _bad_ target for proseltyzing. I’ve met people who are reluctant to believe that I’m truly a Christian because I’m not their type of Christian and/or because I wasn’t “born again.” (I got it right the first time.) _Everything_ is a fair target for mockery on this board, and some rightly so. This is nothing compared to some of the threads we’ve had filled with religious humor and I’m proud to say I started one – it was to cheer **Polycarp** up. And, on that note, did you folks hear about the dyslexic Atheist? It seems he’d lost his faith in dog. 🙂 Ma? CJ ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/16 "2003-10-23T09:37:24Z")
By the way, I suspect the type of Christian being aimed at was the guy in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=218560). There aren’t enough rolleyes in the world. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/17 "2003-10-23T09:58:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Svt4Him \* > \*\*Is this funny? Seems kind of stupid and highly insulting, but is it ok because it’s only insulting Christianity? \*\* As per Christianity, man was created in gods image. So, god has a keen sense of humour as does man. God would be reading this thread and saying “under the couch? I told him to go to his room” ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/18 "2003-10-23T12:51:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Svt4Him \* > \*\*Is this funny? Seems kind of stupid and highly insulting, but is it ok because it’s only insulting Christianity? \*\* Ah, multiculturalism, then. That’s the key. “You found him? Last I saw, he was in the back of the bar, making out with Shiva!” ---
**Author:** ![seal\_cleaner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@seal\_cleaner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seal_cleaner)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/19 "2003-10-23T13:00:09Z")
I found Jesus! Now I just need a coin minted before 1942 and a Denver phonebook, and I win the Blockbuster gift certificate! ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/20 "2003-10-23T13:03:15Z")
Tell Jesus that he’s been a BAD little boy, and send him home RIGHT THIS INSTANT. Oooh, his father’s gonna be so mad when he gets home! All we do for him, and this is how he thanks us! Stunts like this! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026.md?page=2)