# I have found Jesus! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026 "2003-10-23T02:34:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Krisfer\_the\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krisfer_the_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/41 "2003-10-23T23:32:21Z")
**Kallessa!** That’s MY Buddha! Give him back! Don’t make me come up there and get him! Oh wait never mind… I found my Buddha. He was napping in the back room… Anyone need a dozen or so cherubim? We seem to have a surplus… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/42 "2003-10-24T00:18:54Z")
Considering all those wafers of transformed bread, and all that wine/blood there must be tons of bits of Jesus all over the place. Since this has been going on for 20 centuries there must be bits of Jesus in almost everything we eat drink and build. Except of course there can be no Jesus in Marmite, for obvious reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/43 "2003-10-24T00:31:15Z")
WWJD? Besides just hang there?? ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/44 "2003-10-24T00:46:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by godzillatemple \* > \*\ ***Jesus Saves!** > > _God invests…_ > > 😃 \*\* Jesus Saves! And takes half damage! ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/45 "2003-10-24T01:41:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Siege \* > And, on that note, did you folks hear about the dyslexic Atheist? It seems he’d lost his faith in dog. 🙂 Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering was there a dog. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/46 "2003-10-24T01:56:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DaveX \* > \*\*I haven’t personally found him, but I know where he is. > > He’s in jail. Everybody that gets out of jail tells me they found him there. \*\* Fortunately, he gets out every 3 days… ---
**Author:** ![moejuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@moejuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moejuck)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/47 "2003-10-24T01:57:58Z")
Now I know why my dang slip cover won’t stay on… ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/48 "2003-10-24T02:58:38Z")
I never found Jesus under the couch, but I did find three pens, five corks, and assorted cat toys under the stove when it was moved for reflooring the kitchen – does that count? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/49 "2003-10-24T10:23:44Z")
Why am I hiding? I found Jesus, and now he’s it! Actually, he’s [in the bath.](http://www.datejesus.com/bathe/) I’m surprised to see nobody’s linked to this yet. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/50 "2003-10-24T10:35:15Z")
Well, at least now I know why you’re not coming out for dinner, **Sublight**. You _really_ do spend too much time online. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/51 "2003-10-24T11:07:02Z")
**Sublight** , that may quite possibly be the strangest link I’ve ever clicked on. And I’m including the goatse guy in that statement. Now, can anyone tell me: What would Jesus do…for a Klondike bar? Ahem. | / ---
**Author:** ![modro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@modro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/modro)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/52 "2003-10-24T11:21:21Z")
Funny, I found The Glory of Jesus in my friend’s closet. And one of my friend’s cats had peed on him. Poor Jesus ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2003, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026/53 "2003-10-24T14:02:22Z")
From that datejesus site: “Irish need not apply.” HA!! So Jesus hates the Irish? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-found-jesus/209026.md?page=2)