# I have GOT to get laid, dammit! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 23, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337 "2001-01-23T00:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/41 "2001-01-23T13:45:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hamadryad \* > \*\* > Oh, and **Tripler** : I refuse to argue any more about your “am I hot or not” dilemma. I have played THAT game before. You know you are; I refuse to feed your ego. > > Which is what Nacho and Falcon are for. 😉 \*\* Good. Then don’t play the game. Just agree with me. . . Tripler AFI 32-1019 orders me _not_ to be a hottie. Deal with it. . . ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/42 "2001-01-23T15:17:20Z")
Nice. Hot guy in DC wanting to get laid. mmm…long hair…humor…play any instuments? grrr…doesn’t matter I still can’t get out to DC… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/43 "2001-01-23T16:12:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > \*\*AFI 32-1019 orders me _not_ to be a hottie. Deal with it. . . \*\* Tripler, tripler, tripler. ND? Ouch. I stopped there for gas on a C-130 cross country once. Once. And the guy who pulled you out of the Marines should be held accountable for your deplorable condition. When I slip into my Dress Blue Alphas with scrambled eggs and dripping with ribbons and medals, women go weak in the knees and moist where it matters. USMC Orders ME to be a hottie: [UncleBill’s Look](http://www.tecom.usmc.mil/mcub/images/OfficerBlues.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Meephead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b782af/32.png) [@Meephead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meephead)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/44 "2001-01-23T16:37:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sofa King \* > Long hair on a guy is also an excellent “asshole filter.” I never meet 'em anymore, because they see me coming first. It may prove harmful in these less enlightened times, but I’m rather attached to the locks. So long as I can figure out how not to swallow 'em when I’m sleeping, I think I’m gonna try to keep 'em for as long as I can. Plus, I love the women who like guys with long hair. You can deal with it? First point in your favor, in my book. I am with you on that, 100%, every point in that paragraph. You have the wrong plumbing for my taste, but I had to raise a toast to a fellow long hair. 🙂 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Medea’s Child_Nice. Hot guy in DC wanting to get laid. > > mmm…long hair…humor…play any instuments? > > grrr…doesn’t matter I still can’t get out to DC… What about Dallas? Can you make it here? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/45 "2001-01-23T16:40:56Z")
Not true Hama - I _know_ yer not kidding! _laughs_ And Tripler knows my opinion on his hottie status, so I’m not gonna say it. I’ll THINK it, but not say it. Now then, about that 24 hour guard… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/46 "2001-01-23T18:23:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBill \* > \*\*And the guy who pulled you out of the Marines should be held accountable for your deplorable condition. When I slip into my Dress Blue Alphas with scrambled eggs and dripping with ribbons and medals, women go weak in the knees and moist where it matters. > \*\* For the love of God, someone besides me sees the light! Well, I got my ‘desert training’ in college. I figure God thinks I need some ‘arctic training’ too . . . I may wear blue, but damn I wish I had my M9 Earthmover and my personal '249 . . . Tripler No more hottie debate. Y’all know my position. I ain’t budging. . . ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/47 "2001-01-23T18:25:44Z")
[quote] Why didn’t you come to Old Town with pldennison, peta tzunami, sqrlcub, dcnewsman, jess, lucretia, bluesman, RT, falc, weirddave, olent, mrs. olent, captain amazing, althea and myself (sorry if I’m missing anyone)? [/quote I went to Old Town for that very purpose only to find that the agreed-upon restaurant didn’t exist! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/48 "2001-01-23T18:25:44Z")
I’m in Pittsburgh. With no car. Sometimes I can manage to find mid-Michigan. But I am a big fan of guys with long hair. Though I get jealous when it is longer than mine. (Which reminds me there is someone I have to attack with scissors this weekend. I trimmed my hair recently and I think he may be gtting close.) ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/49 "2001-01-23T18:46:54Z")
I think you should head over to Pittsburgh and hook up with Medea’s Child. Just a word of advice though. If things don’t work out and you end up just using her and tossing her aside, and she sends you a jacket to remember her by, do _not_ put it on! Especially if your real name is Jason. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/50 "2001-01-23T20:00:14Z")
Eighty days? Pansy. When you start to approach the five-year mark, call us back. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/51 "2001-01-23T22:02:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by goboy \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Why didn’t you come to Old Town with pldennison, peta tzunami, sqrlcub, dcnewsman, jess, lucretia, bluesman, RT, falc, weirddave, olent, mrs. olent, captain amazing, althea and myself (sorry if I’m missing anyone)? > > I went to Old Town for that very purpose only to find that the agreed-upon restaurant didn’t exist! ☹ \*\* We were at Bertuchies just down the block. Sorry you missed us, the change of venue was posted in the thread the day before ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/52 "2001-01-23T22:12:21Z")
I’m learning so much here. First, that I could get lots of play if I could afford the time to travel; second, that some folks can go five years without it; third, some jackets just aren’t safe to wear. What, are you like a sexual camel, Max? I’m so desperate I’m starting to chat up a knothole on my hardwood floor. Thanks for the encouragement, ladies. I think I’m going to be dropping in on the Big Hunt for happy hour tonight, so any of you lurkers out there who want to sneak up and have sex with me without admitting it to twenty thousand people are welcome. I’m bringing the squeeze-ball, just in case. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/53 "2001-01-23T22:39:23Z")
Well, 24 days is my personal record, and as batshit as I was going at the end of those periods (they were back to back - so to speak - with a one night respite) I can only imagine how crazed you are. If you’re in DC, head to Adams Morgan, particularly Heaven or the Toledo on a midweek night. Weekends are too packed with other hunters. I’ve always done quite well in either establishment when I’ve travelled to DC, and I’m a fellow misanthropic longhair. Do you have a wingman to distract “the friend”, should that tactical problem arise? If not, it’s still possible, although it might be a two-night proposition. As desperate as you are, you might be right about the sign on the forehead. A little trick: Before you go out hunting, read something either very deep or very boring. German existential philosophers bear the advantage of being both. It will tend to have a mile radar jamming effect on your desperation broadcast. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/54 "2001-01-23T22:54:08Z")
Actually, that’s just my longest stint; at the moment, I’ve been going without for about 8 months. It ain’t easy being me, sometimes… ---
**Author:** ![dcnewsman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dcnewsman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dcnewsman)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/55 "2001-01-24T00:31:11Z")
Hmmm…sure [http://members.aol.com/pgrqgxl/images/blowhole!.jpg](http://members.aol.com/pgrqgxl/images/blowhole!.jpg) isn’t you? Could explain why you are having trouble finding a woman. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/56 "2001-01-24T01:46:19Z")
Sofa, I think your only recourse is to look into the road trip option! ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/57 "2001-01-24T03:58:41Z")
Oh, yeah, **dcnews**. That brings up some memories. She was the fastest thing I ever got both my hands on. Excellent memory, cool as a cucumber. Kyle over at the [H]ardOCP liked her, too. Heck, the girl wasn’t half bad, either. Too bad I never finished that heatsink/fan layout I was going to do with her. So, **evilbeth** , where should I go for the Pathetic Desperation Tour? Anyone care to offer me a grudge rudge in Massachusetts next month? I’ll likely be up that way on business, which means the lucky someone will get to learn firsthand why I no longer prefer to drive. ---
**Author:** ![Sofa\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Sofa\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofa_King)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/58 "2001-01-24T04:22:35Z")
I’ve also slightly modified my profile in an effort to make myself a little better known to all of you. ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/59 "2001-01-24T07:40:33Z")
DUDE! LMAO, you really need laid! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337/60 "2001-01-24T07:50:33Z")
I’ve gone two years…but it was not pleasant. If going out and hiring a professional isn’t acceptable for you (cheaper than a date, probably), try chatrooms and bulletin boards, ones local to you. Ones related to bars and clubs are good, as well as the old reliable swinger ones. I’ve known quite a few people who hooked up with someone online. There’s a local bar with a bulletin board for people looking to hook up, if you were in the Dallas area I’d give you the URL, you could probably line something up in less than an hour. You might want to scan a more flattering picture first, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-got-to-get-laid-dammit/51337.md?page=4)