Thanks to everyone who responded. I’m going to check out a gym that has classes, so I have an obligation to attend.
This +1.
I love the stationary bikes and can do a lot more on those than the treadmill (bum knee). I also enjoy swimming, and in a cold Boston winter jumping into a heated swimming pool…well, it feels like I went home to Florida. 
I also do some weight training to try to make things less jiggly. You don’t have to be coordinated to use weight machines or even free weights. I haven’t dropped one on my foot yet. ;)
I don’t know why everyone keeps saying that no one will notice you, when on a regular basis, we are treated to commentary about the lazy-ass on the treadmill who is doing it wrong. Or the dork who lifts weights wrong or uses the eliptical wrong. If you stick out enough, someone will most certainly notice you. People are dumb, but they aren’t blind.
Four years of being the dork in yoga class have taught me some things. Of ccourse people notice me always set up in the back of the room so I can have two walls to support me. Of course people notice me falling out of simple poses. Of course they notice me when I fold into a child’s pose while they’re standing on their heads. I know they notice me not just because people have let me know they’ve noticed, but because I notice when they’re using props and falling and struggling too. Why do I notice? Because I have two eyes. It’s in my nature (and most people’s nature, I suspect) to check out who is in my environment and what they are doing.
But there’s a difference between noticing and judging. Most people just notice. Only a few people are really judging.
To overcome your fears, you have to ask yourself how other people’s judgments impact your life. Say someone thinks you’re a dork because you’re the only guy who is walking on the treadmill instead of running. Does that mofo’s opinion really matter? Are you ever going to see that mofo outside of the gym? Isn’t that mofo likely a jackass you wouldn’t want to know anyway?
I am always doing shit out in public that causes deep embarrassment. And I KNOW people notice and probably think I’m either crazy or drunk or both. But I just tell myself that I will likely never see those people again. I don’t particularly care for impressing people I don’t plan on ever interacting with. Maybe I’m just deluding myself, I don’t know. But I think believing a lie is better than living in fear.
Consider Spin or Cycle classes. In this class participants ride stationary bikes with varying intensity under the guidance of an instructor. Spin classes are great for newbies because they don’t take any coordination and you have full control over the intensity. The instructor guides the workout, but it’s up to you how fast to pedal and how much tension you add. The room is typically dark and you can stay in the back if you feel self-conscious. For your first spin class, get there a bit early and ask the instructor for tips on how to setup the bike. There are adjustments for seat hight and such that can be changed for your body.
When you’re taking tours of the gym, look around at the other people there. Likely, you’ll see all sorts of body types. If they have group classes, look at the participants. You’ll notice many people aren’t super coordinated either, but they’re still having a great time.
I like group classes for newbies since you have an instructor who can give advice on technique. They may also provide more motivation because the instructor is telling you what to do versus you having to motivate yourself. Here are a few classes you might consider:
Spin/Cycle
Zumba – A fun, easy-to-learn dance class.
BodyPump – A class which uses weights to workout aerobically. The moves are simple and non-impact.
Water Aerobics – Impact-free aerobics in the water. A lot of overweight people start with this since there’s very little chance of injury.
Whatever you decide to do, go easy at first–really easy. It takes a while for your body to adjust. Ideally, the day after your workout you should feel little to no soreness. Make each workout just a bit harder than the next. By starting easy and ramping up, you’ll quickly get in shape without the risk of a derailing injury.
I will respectfully differ in opinion from Stranger regarding the value of going to the gym vs. home.
It is true that almost everything you can do there can be done at home–I have a book somewhere that shows pictures of guys doing exercises with gallon jugs of water and such.
Nevertheless, I have always found great value in going to a place where people go to work out. They are all there doing the same thing, and I am able to keep focused because I am surrounded by like-minded people.
In addition, the facility is all designed for working out: the mirrors are not provided so that you can check out other people; they are there so that you can observe your own form, watching your forearm achieve a perfect right-angle if that’s what the exercise calls for. Their selection of free weights and benches and other stuff is much better than most people would have at home.
I had gym phobia too. One day when I was 34 a nurse told me to sit down and wait awhile before she allowed me to donate blood–my BP was too high, after regularly donating for fifteen years. That night I faced my own gym phobia and walked into the Powerhouse Gym just down the street from my house.
They answered all of my questions and set me up with a few free sessions with a personal trainer. When I went for my sessions, she showed me exactly how to use the various machines, with specific safety and form instructions (e.g. “make sure your knee joint is in perfect alignment with the hinge pivot”).
She also gave me a schedule, working different muscles on different days.
I found that as long as I could get to the gym, it was much more difficult to stop before the end of a workout: as long as I was there, I might as well spend an hour doing what I came for.
That was fourteen years ago. These days I go to the local YMCA, where they have an indoor running track. I like that because I can run in cold or rainy days, and I can watch basketball games while I run.
It truly is a lifestyle choice, and one that is … enjoyable work. It never is completely fun to me, but it is something that gives me a feeling of accomplisment.
I often tell people that the runner’s high is a myth (at least for me it is), but the reason I run is because I eventually get to stop. Nothing feels like finally stopping running after you finish a 12 mile run.
Do it one step at a time. If your goal is lifelong health improvement, then you can gently ease into it, as long as you are always growing toward your goal. Then you’ll blink and a year will have passed and you will be in your workout rhythm.
Can’t say about pizza but it has more “normal” (IE slightly to more out of shape and sometimes older) people than most gyms and its fairly cheap. Slightly older styled equipment but a little more user friendly.
I have the exact same problem, which is why I run (preferably on the well-used treadmill currently living in the garage due to household repairs or outside). I’m responsible for breaking a large number of plates, glasses and the innards of a crockpot thanks to my clumsiness. And my kids have been eating off ceramic since they were 2. That’s right - toddlers can be trusted not to break things more than I can.
The OP could have been me a year ago (well, except for the age and gender). I work at a university and I got over my gym anxiety by availing myself of the free gym access and free personal training my university provides through its Exercise Science major. For me, having a personal trainer there to show me the ropes and keep me from making major mistakes is how I got over being too shy to work out in front of others. She’s a big help when I’m in there along with all the members of the football team, and I’m a 36-y-o woman surrounded by big burly dudes who are really loud and take up a lot of space.
I just wanted to weigh in (pun intended) with an anecdote. Two nights ago, I was doing shoulder exercises with 7 pound dumbbells, while the college-age guy at the bench next to me was curling 75 pound dumbbells. I can usually tune the others out, but this night I felt really embarrassed at how weak I was compared to this guy. I went into another room to stretch, and to my surprise, he came over to me and told me, basically, “Good for you for doing resistance training! It’s really good to see women lifting weights instead of just doing the treadmill for an hour! I just wanted to tell you to keep up the good work!”
That’s the only time any other person at the gym has ever said anything to me while I’m working out (besides “Are you still using this equipment?”), and it was so positive and encouraging. It really drove home the point that I’m doing this to benefit myself, not anyone else, so it doesn’t matter how I compare to anyone else. I’m there at the gym building muscle strength instead of lying on my couch at home losing it. That’s all that matters.
It does get easier, and it’s extremely rewarding when you gain strength quickly (and you will – they’re called “beginner gains” for a reason) and find yourself doing something that a month ago you couldn’t imagine yourself doing. In February, my one rep max on the leg press machine was 70 pounds. When I tested it again in November it was 225 pounds. In practical terms that means I can go up and down stairs without knee pain, and when I descend stairs I feel like I’m floating down effortlessly instead of clomping down at each step. Because I’ve gained arm strength, I can now carry all my groceries up from my car to my apartment in one trip instead of three. At work, I can carry my mail (usually 30-40 lb boxes) up to my office instead of needing a cart and can replace the water cooler bottle by myself instead of needing help. Thank you, gym!
Go ahead, go to Planet Fitness or any other “non-serious” gym – it gets you out of the house, into a place that has the means for you to gain fitness at your own pace, with equipment that benefits you which you may not have at home. Who cares if they throw pizza parties – you don’t have to eat it.
I’m with the “just go” crowd. Try different gyms and different things. You don’t have to find the perfect place. You can always switch later.
Don’t be intimidated if there are serious weight lifters in the place. That’s a good thing! If there are ONLY serious weightlifters, it might not be the place for you, of course. A variety of types of people is a good thing.
Speaking as somebody who used to work in a gym (a trainer, but not a personal trainer) - Newbies were cool, and we always liked helping them out. Be friendly to trainers and the other patrons. It will pay off.
Also, make sure you have some decent gym clothes. They don’t have to be fancy. Shorts and a t-shirt are fine, but they should fit properly and not be TOO raggedy. You don’t want to be “that guy.” (You know, the one who’s balls hang out of his shorts when he’s bench-pressing.)
Unless you are in Antarctica (or possibly Siberia) it is not too cold to walk!
When it gets cold I like Cross Country Skiing. Snowshoeing is also possible.
Brian
Actually, I am female. I am a little glad I’m not the only shy one. I’ll probably spend the first couple of weeks getting comfortable with some basics and go from there. Thanks again for all of your advice.
Whoever said it isn’t too cold to walk doesn’t live here in Michigan. Icy sidewalks plus incoordination equals disaster.
Stumptuous is a great resource for new gymgoers, and well worth the time to read.
do some stuff like recumbent bike. poop your self out.
look at few fitness books. do some stuff with smaller free weights.
work up to other machines.
The two classes which seem most friendly for women newbies are Zumba and water aerobics. The people in those classes are generally very welcoming and non-judgmental.
Planet fitness tries to create a non-intimidating atmosphere. I see lots of people in average shape going to the gym, and nobody complains or is rude to them. It is a good gym if you want to work out w/o ridicule.
However in all the gyms I’ve ever been to I don’t think I’ve ever been to one where I actually saw stereotypical gym douche behavior. Most people are just there for their own goals and not to ridicule anyone.
I’m 49, female, formerly and flappily very fat and I first walked into a gym about a year ago. I have been afraid of the wrong people all my life.
Everyone is just there to be better, the current levels are different, that’s all.
Get in and get the feel of it before Jan 1 if you can though, the resolutionist stampede is a bit much if you are trying to figure it all out a bit.
IMHO:
Don’t measure your fitness by your weight. Measure it by the activities that you do. After some time to adjust, you’ll slowly but steadily improve and find you can do more reps or use some heavier weights. You can never start too small, one of the kids I coach couldn’t even jog 500m or do two press ups in a row when we started, so we these small amounts simply became the target that we worked to improve.
Record what you are capable of doing so you know what to set you sights on next time round. (Do all gyms do this? My gym sorted out a circuit program that I’d do every week and we’d adjust it every month)
Too many people say “I want to drop X lbs in six months”, and I feel like they always underestimate the amount of time needed, and often they should halve the weight target too! Sure, it’s physically possible, but the crash weight loss is hard to adapt to and they usually give up once they’re done. Doing things slower forms a strong habit of exercising that gets better results in the long run. Hence why I prefer the other sorts of goals.
(Did I mention this is IMHO? because it’s definitely IMHO :D)
This worked for me, too. When I started working out, I had my “Cheetos and TV” mindset in my mental toolbox - as soon as I got inside the Y, I could walk straight down the hallway to the locker rooms and go work out – or I could turn right and go into the lounge to watch TV while eating vending-machine Cheetos. Whenever I didn’t feel like working out, I would go to the Y for Cheetos and TV - but I just never made that right turn. As soon as I got inside, “Well, I’m here. Just do it.”
(“Just Do It” - there’s a reason Nike spent millions on that slogan and has kept it for decades. It’s often the last thing you tell yourself right before you start, and once you start you just keep going.)
Forget the guy stuff - took me 30 years to get past that bullshit stereotype.
It’s all about the classes.
Whereas I hate the classes and love the clanky grunty “guy” stuff most of all.
We all have to find what ways of moving suit us best, the only way to do that is to try something new if what we first picked doesn’t hold our interest instead of declaring “the gym” a waste of time.