# I have invented a new coffee!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-invented-a-new-coffee/356970>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 16, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-invented-a-new-coffee/356970 "2006-05-16T13:03:15Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-invented-a-new-coffee/356970/1 "2006-05-16T13:03:15Z")

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So I’m doing my usual morning routine this morning, which involves stopping in to my local cafe for a coffee, wherein they have pour-it-yourself urns of various coffee types and flavours. I gave up coffee for the most part because I can only take it with a good amount of cream, but I found a coffee – French Caramel – which has enough smoothness and sweetness that I need less than half what I normally require, thus agreeing more readily with my self-imposed diet.

So I grabbed a cup and went to the French Caramel urn. It has a little windowed tube in front so you can see how much coffee is left in that particular urn. This was was low. But like a gas gauge you never really know _how_ low, so I chanced it and pressed the lever to pour. It ran out at half a cup.

_Bugger_, I thought. _What am I going to do with half a cup of French Caramel coffee?_ I could mix it. Yes, that would make sense. But with what? Columbian? Dark roast? No, that would just make it taste like watered-down French Caramel. Irish Cream? Nope, can’t see it. Two competing flavours there. Hazelnut?

Hmmm.

Hazelnut. It’s a mild flavour, might add a nutty aspect to the caramel flavouring and would compliment the burnt vanilla component nicely. Yes, I think I will try that. So I poured, I paid, I creamed and sugared.

And lo, it is good. A slightly nutty, slightly sweet caramel with burnt vanilla flavour that was still acceptable as a lesser-calorie morning coffee.

I hereby dub thee French Hazemella Coffee.

_sip_

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**Author:** ![theunfounddoor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b19c9b/32.png) [@theunfounddoor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/theunfounddoor)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-invented-a-new-coffee/356970/2 "2006-05-16T13:39:23Z")

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Mmmmmmmmm! That sounds gooooood. I love mixing flavors. I usually go with hazelnut and french vanilla (kinda boring I know). That French Hazemella concoction sounds pretty damn good though.

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**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-invented-a-new-coffee/356970/3 "2006-05-16T13:50:06Z")

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May I propose a catchier name? “Hazemella” sounds lovely for a wood stain or herbal remedy, but a little awkward for coffee. And “French” ignores the obvious Italian character of hazelnut.

So perhaps French + Italian = **Corsican**?

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**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\
**Post date:** [May 16, 2006, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-invented-a-new-coffee/356970/4 "2006-05-16T14:45:38Z")

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Corsican. I like it. Has an exotic mediterranean ring. Maybe Corsican Vanilla, since the former takes care of both the hazelnuttiness\* and the caramellowness\*, the latter describing the vanilla element.

Unfortunately all of my Corsican Vanilla has been consumed, so I will have to drink to it with tea.

- Coming to the OED in 2026