# I have my own ugly naked guy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455 "2003-06-30T23:39:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/1 "2003-06-30T23:39:37Z")
Well, I can’t vouch for the ugly part, since I don’t think I’ve ever seen him face to face, but there’s a guy who lives in my apartment building. I can see his balcony from mine and his screen door is in my view (ok, not _direct_ view) when I go out on my balcony to smoke. Well, yesterday was the first time, and I just saw it again. He apparently likes to stand at his screen door naked. It took me by surprise the first time. Eventually I suppose I’ll just get used to it. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/2 "2003-06-30T23:47:40Z")
You sure he’s not air drying ‘the boys’? Maybe he just likes to give his one-eyed snake a view of the world from something other than the pair of his pants. Tripler C’mon now. . . think of the plight of the one-eyed snakes. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/3 "2003-07-01T00:00:03Z")
I bet you’ll be smoking a lot more now, **Lsura**. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/4 "2003-07-01T01:02:52Z")
I was just checking in to make sure I wasn’t your neighbor. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![Capcha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Capcha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capcha)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/5 "2003-07-01T01:06:59Z")
you mean his screendoor was open or was he behind it? ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/6 "2003-07-01T01:07:07Z")
Is he a member of Ugly Naked Guys Local 57? We UNGs have a tough, but proud union. We strive to ensure that only the best (albeit that’s a highly subjective term) ugly naked guys are out there being naked in their windows. If he’s not, let me know. We’ll either file a grievance against him or sign him up. –WA Duck, UNG Steward, Northeastern US ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/7 "2003-07-01T01:09:17Z")
Wonder if you can order an Ugly Naked Guy? Kind of like a mail order bride? UGN $55.65, accessories sold separately. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/8 "2003-07-01T01:13:32Z")
**Lsura** , you are one lucky gal! ---
**Author:** ![BadBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/71c47a/32.png) [@BadBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BadBaby)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/9 "2003-07-01T02:08:53Z")
I wish I had a nice ol’ Ugly Naked Guy like you have. I must 've pressed the wrong button because I received Ugly Barfs Off the Balcony Guy instead. I just noticed his Skanky Girlfriend and Drunk Friend-- I think I’ll collect the whole set! ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/10 "2003-07-01T02:26:14Z")
Oooooh, I had one of those in my apartment dwelling days. Except mine was a " might be attractive if not for the mullet, naked guy". ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/11 "2003-07-01T03:05:38Z")
Eh…sorry about that…I’ll try and use a towel from now on. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/12 "2003-07-01T04:10:52Z")
I thought you had just given birth (and had a low opinion of the newborn’s looks). ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/13 "2003-07-01T04:12:42Z")
A friend of mine has an apartment in the Village and had this problem too. Apparently the guy just liked to come home and wander around nude, and rarely thought to close the blinds. He moved out recently, but she’s still got Really Loud Sex Guy living next door. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/14 "2003-07-01T06:42:06Z")
I need to unload a set of Stupid Punk Kids with Excessively Loud Stereo. I don’t imagine many people will take them off my hands. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/15 "2003-07-01T11:14:22Z")
He stands at the screen door naked, and you haven’t seen his face? Guess we know where _your_ eyes are! 😃 Yes, he _could_ be mooning the neighborhood, but I’m betting he’s not. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/16 "2003-07-01T12:15:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*He stands at the screen door naked, and you haven’t seen his face? Guess we know where _your_ eyes are! 😃 > \*\* Now, just because it’s been (insert #of years) since I had sex doesn’t mean that I automatically drop my eyes to the groin of every guy I see, even if that guy is naked. But, well, it was just…I mean…he was _naked_! Where else am I supposed to look? ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/17 "2003-07-01T12:27:18Z")
Consider yourself lucky. The apartment directly across the courtyard from me is the home of Ugly Tattooed Naked Guy and his girlfreind Obese Naked Gal. They have a large picture window with no curtains. My blinds stay closed at all times. ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/18 "2003-07-01T13:28:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Why A Duck \* > \*\*Is he a member of Ugly Naked Guys Local 57? > > We UNGs have a tough, but proud union. We strive to ensure that only the best (albeit that’s a highly subjective term) ugly naked guys are out there being naked in their windows. woo! International member chipping in here! we UNGs rule! _:::jiggles his bits:::_ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/19 "2003-07-01T14:09:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \*He stands at the screen door naked, and you haven’t seen his face? Guess we know where _your_ eyes are! Beauty is in the eye of the holder. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2003, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455/20 "2003-07-01T15:39:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lsura \* > \*\*Now, just because it’s been (insert #of years) since I had sex doesn’t mean that I automatically drop my eyes to the groin of every guy I see, even if that guy is naked. \*\* Please report to The Center for reprogramming. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-my-own-ugly-naked-guy/185455.md?page=2)