# I have never... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548 "2011-12-17T17:29:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/41 "2011-12-19T17:14:02Z")
I have never: [ul] [li]Smoked a cigarette[/li][li]Been off the North American Continent[/li][li]Shot an elephant in my pajamas, nor a man in Reno[/li][li]Saved a life via CPR (not that I haven’t tried)[/li][li]Robbed a bank[/li][li]Paid off a mortgage[/li][li]Been scuba diving[/li][li]Been rock climbing[/li][li]Been backpacking[/li][li]Tweeted[/li][li]Given birth[/li][li]Had a period[/li][li]Met a sitting or past President[/li][li]Heard klezmer music[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/42 "2011-12-19T17:33:56Z")
I’ve never - gotten drunk. - smoked. - tweeted. - been outside the country. - had a dog. (I have dogsat enough that I don’t think I want one). ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Lord\_Il\_Palazzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Il_Palazzo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/43 "2011-12-19T17:47:44Z")
My list could go on for quite a while, but off the top of my head, I’ve never: [ul] [li]Used any tobacco product[/li][li]Used any illegal drug[/li][li]Been arrested[/li][li]Lived outside the state of Virginia[/li][li]Used Twitter (to tweet or read others’ tweets)[/li][li]Owned an Apple product (Mac, iPod, etc.)[/li][li]Seen any of the Godfather movies[/li][li]Seen more than 10 minutes of any movie featuring James Bond[/li][li]Owned a pet larger than a gerbil[/li][li]Had a broken bone[/li][li]Received a blood transfusion[/li][li]Driven a car with a manual transmission[/li][li]Attended a ballet[/li][li]Used a chainsaw[/li][li]Fired a firearm of any fort[/li][li]Been outside of North America and the Carribean[/li][li]Been scuba diving, rock climbing, hang gliding, bungie jumping or skiing[/li][li]Gambled in a casino[/li][/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Gesturing\_Mildly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/65b543/32.png) [@Gesturing\_Mildly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gesturing_Mildly)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/44 "2011-12-19T18:31:05Z")
Tons of stuff, but most notably: Had a cavity Broken a bone Seen the sunrise Ridden on a city bus ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/45 "2011-12-20T06:08:02Z")
I have never … - posted in this thread … oh shit. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/46 "2011-12-20T06:56:23Z")
I have never: [ul] [li]Been BANNED from a message board.[/li][/ul] Oh no… did I just jinx myself?? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Anamorphic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/anamorphic/32/3057_2.png) [@Anamorphic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anamorphic)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/47 "2011-12-20T08:33:58Z")
I have never been inside a WalMart. I have never eaten Spam. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/48 "2011-12-20T09:14:45Z")
I have never been pulled over or ticketed for speeding. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Ducky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrs_ducky/32/6227_2.png) [@Mrs\_Ducky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Ducky)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/49 "2011-12-21T20:56:39Z")
I’m 59. I’ve never given birth. I’ve never been admitted to a hospital. I’ve never used an ATM. I’ve never bounced a check. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/50 "2011-12-21T21:12:58Z")
I have never: -been pregnant. -missed the rains down in Africa. :eek: -kicked myself in the balls. -masturbated furiously with lotion while stabbing a baby whilst its mother was being circle-jerked onto by a bunch of clowns in Little Orphan Annie costumes whilst its father was being gang-sodomized by a bunch of little people with 70s style mustaches.\* \*Although I have done that while using vaseline. ---
**Author:** ![brittekland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@brittekland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brittekland)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/51 "2011-12-21T22:52:02Z")
Way TMI. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/52 "2011-12-21T23:57:58Z")
I have never been seen drinking cappucino in Italian restaurants with Oriental women. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/53 "2011-12-22T00:10:05Z")
I have never: - Seen a gun fired, or touched a (functional) gun (antiques without a barrel don’t count) - Been on a date (had boyfriends, just never did anything that could remotely be described as an actual date) - Had a cavity And a bunch of other stuff… ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/54 "2011-12-22T00:16:29Z")
I have never been alone with a child in my care. ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/55 "2011-12-22T04:21:56Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > I have never been seen drinking cappucino in Italian restaurants with Oriental women. Was that you floating in my soup? ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/56 "2011-12-22T06:18:42Z")
I have never… Shot or even held a gun. Had a cavity. Broken a bone. Been to Mexico. Been to the west coast of the United States. Seen a cockroach in my home. Been on a jury (and I don’t think I ever will). Read any classic French authors. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2011, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/57 "2011-12-22T06:29:00Z")
“I have never given a reach-around to a spider monkey while singing the national anthem.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/58 "2012-01-13T05:21:20Z")
Given birth. Punched a woman. Been divorced. Been east of Paris, France. Been anywhere in South America. Voted for a Republican for any Federal office. Gone to medical school. Skinned a cat. Seen _Schindler’s List_ or _The Shawshank Redemption_, even though everyone tells me I should. Read _Moby-Dick_. Been sexually intimate in any way whatsoever with a spider monkey. Hmm. Or any other kind of monkey, come to think of it. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/59 "2012-01-13T07:53:32Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > Male, 44, grew up in Ohio, and am currently living in Ohio. > > Long list, but I have never… > > [ul] > [li]used a smart phone.[/li][li]sent a text message.[/li][li]played basketball, football, baseball, or hockey.[/li][li]been in a car wreck.[/li][li]been on Twitter.[/li][li]cooked. (I don’t even know how to cook an egg.)[/li][li]had anyone close to me die.[/li][li]read my horoscope.[/li][li]broken a bone.[/li][li]attended a football game (pro, college, or HS).[/li][li]smoked a cigarette.[/li][li]been in debt (other than a mortgage).[/li][li]had a threesome.[/li][li]taken an illegal drug.[/li][li]taken a prescription pain killer.[/li][li]watched a reality TV show, House, 24, or American Idol.[/li][li]been unemployed.[/li][li]used an Apple product.[/li][li]been SCUBA diving or snorkeling.[/li][li]watched (in person) a symphony orchestra or opera.[/li][li]been to Europe, China, Japan, India, Africa, South America, Russia, Scandinavia, or Mexico.[/li][li]worn a watch.[/li][li]played golf.[/li][li]been to a beach.[/li][li]sewn.[/li][li]gotten a tattoo or piercing.[/li][li]called in sick to work.[/li][li]recycled.[/li][li]been on a cruise.[/li][li]voted for a Democrat.[/li][li]been to the zoo.[/li][li]flown first class.[/li][li]worn jewelry (other than my wedding band).[/li][li]been downhill skiing.[/li][li]liked any music made after the mid 1990s.[/li][li]owned an MP3 player.[/li][li]had any major health issue.[/li][li]made a home or car insurance claim.[/li][li]seen the Grand Canyon.[/li][li]purchased jewelry (other than my wife’s wedding ring).[/li][li]purchased a new vehicle.[/li][li]played a video game.[/li][li]been on unemployment, disability, food stamps, or welfare.[/li][li]been very angry.[/li][li]been depressed.[/li][li]had a car payment.[/li][li]received a check from the government (other than tax overpayment).[/li][li]been sued.[/li][li]been in a fight.[/li][li]gambled or played the lottery.[/li][li]purchased collision insurance for my vehicles.[/li][li]had (or wanted) a homosexual encounter.[/li][li]been to Disneyworld or Disneyland.[/li][li]been to California.[/li][/ul] You’re married? ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2012, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548/60 "2012-01-13T08:09:13Z")
… gone to the quarry and threw stuff down there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-never/606548.md?page=4)