# I have no future. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686 "2005-03-22T05:08:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/1 "2005-03-22T05:08:10Z")
Szechwan takeout food; Empty cookie saddens me; Is it all over? ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/2 "2005-03-22T05:55:51Z")
After cheap Szechwan There is often afterglow, Heartburn till morning. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/3 "2005-03-22T06:08:18Z")
observe this omen, it says: life is not governed by scraps of paper ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/4 "2005-03-22T06:15:26Z")
except for those scraps we will need in the bathroom for the afterglow ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/5 "2005-03-22T13:43:05Z")
Did you check inside For paper before gulping– messages from teeth! ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/6 "2005-03-22T13:48:05Z")
I cannot believe I am the first to say this: no news is good news! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/7 "2005-03-22T13:54:42Z")
Much to my surprise, Alive and well this morning. Ominous rumbling. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/8 "2005-03-22T14:03:06Z")
Ominous rumbling After eating cheap Schezwan Chefguy’s gonna blow! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/9 "2005-03-22T14:24:16Z")
You have a future An open and endless dream Full of varied ends ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/10 "2005-03-22T14:29:47Z")
It sure sounds like you Shared your Szechwan takeout meal With the Sex Pistols ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/11 "2005-03-22T14:59:22Z")
Reeking of onions, Wife breathes softly in my face. Up at four thirty. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/12 "2005-03-22T15:03:27Z")
Onion breath is bad Blow up that bathroom and you Shall have your vengeance ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/13 "2005-03-22T15:07:39Z")
Wife’s breath in face beats Three-year-old entering bed Pull-up needs changing ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/14 "2005-03-22T15:44:57Z")
Pull-up needs changing, Lie very still, fake sleeping Don’t move a muscle. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/15 "2005-03-22T16:22:16Z")
My nose betrays me Toddler not toilet-trained yet Cannot be ignored ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/16 "2005-03-22T17:19:05Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > It sure sounds like you > Shared your Szechwan takeout meal > With the Sex Pistols Understanding this Reference eludes me so Please explain yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/17 "2005-03-22T17:36:40Z")
Lyric reference For the song _God Save The Queen_ [Scroll down to the end](http://www.plyrics.com/lyrics/sexpistols/godsavethequeen.html) ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/18 "2005-03-22T19:07:47Z")
Nnnnnnnnggg…Nnngg…must.not.be.pedantic…NNggggggggAAAAHHHHHHH!! NO! Haiku = JAPANESE! Fortune cookies are CHINESE. This is all so wrong! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/19 "2005-03-22T19:14:49Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Nnnnnnnnggg…Nnngg…must.not.be.pedantic…NNggggggggAAAAHHHHHHH!! > NO! > > Haiku = JAPANESE! > Fortune cookies are CHINESE. > This is all so wrong! Ruining this thread, Inigo should know better. Be a dick elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/20 "2005-03-22T19:42:20Z")
Better your cookie Be empty than Emerald In color like Lake [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686.md?page=2)