# I have no future. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2005, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686 "2005-03-22T05:08:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/41 "2005-03-24T17:40:49Z")
**d’oh!** ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/42 "2005-03-24T18:02:23Z")
Szechwan hot topic Mouth burns, innards growl like beast Makes red eye blink twice ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/43 "2005-03-24T18:25:04Z")
Thought I would point out Fortune cookies ain’t Chinese! They’re from Chicago. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/44 "2005-03-24T18:38:25Z")
Work is so boring During lunch I check the boards Funny threads give hope ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/45 "2005-03-24T20:13:33Z")
Heartburn churns acid. My stomach roils over 'gain. Staples in my lunch. ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/46 "2005-03-24T20:35:21Z")
I eat with big spoon many cookies in milk. Great future is now mine. ---
**Author:** ![Eggerhaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@Eggerhaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eggerhaus)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/47 "2005-03-24T20:42:47Z")
no paper cookie? what the fuck is wrong with them? start eating sushi! ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/48 "2005-03-24T20:51:04Z")
Looking for fortune in sushi tried. All I got Was runny bowels. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/49 "2005-03-24T21:24:52Z")
Barely stand undies This morning looked like Polar Now more like Panda ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/50 "2005-03-24T21:45:35Z")
> [@Kilt-wearin' man](#): > > Thought I would point out > Fortune cookies ain’t Chinese! > They’re from Chicago. You are not the first To point out our grave mistake Please see post 18 ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/51 "2005-03-24T22:03:19Z")
> [@Eggerhaus](#): > > no paper cookie? > what the fuck is wrong with them? > start eating sushi! Sushi is yummy; I prefer it cooked well done. Raw fish is shark food. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/52 "2005-03-24T22:19:03Z")
Please read it again For you see, in China, there are No fortune cookies. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/53 "2005-03-24T22:20:48Z")
I refer, of course, To **Susie** ’s reply, which I Thought I had quoted. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/54 "2005-03-24T22:55:20Z")
Ah, my mistake sir Accept my apologies I posted in haste 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/55 "2005-03-25T14:47:22Z")
In Shirley’s crapper Is “Good News” for mod urn man Take that as gospel ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/56 "2005-03-25T20:31:28Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > In Shirley’s crapper > Is “Good News” for mod urn man > Take that as gospel 'Tis a good Friday When one is no longer cross. Rock of ages passed. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_The\_Younger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d9b06d/32.png) [@Paul\_The\_Younger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_The_Younger)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/57 "2005-03-30T16:11:41Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > 'Tis a good Friday > When one is no longer cross. > Rock of ages passed. “You can have your cake, and eat it too,” read fortune. (Now that Lent’s over) ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/58 "2005-03-30T16:54:20Z")
Better than the haiku error messages that have been showing up on my computer lately: Windows 2000 crashed. I am the BSOD. No one hears your screams. Three things are certain: Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occured. The Tao that is seen is not the true Tao until you load fresh toner. Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that… ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/59 "2005-03-30T17:03:08Z")
> [@Johnny Bravo](#): > > Takeout Asian? Bah. > While eating at home is nice, > Buffets are bigger. Buffets? Seriously? Less experienced cooks and Reheated remains. Unlike standard takeout. Better chefs and fresher food. Worth the extra cost. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686/60 "2005-03-30T17:06:56Z")
D’oh! How about “Unlike most takeout” for the first line instead. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-future/295686.md?page=4)