# I have no junk food, and I must snack

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Tags:** food-cooking\
**Created:** [March 24, 2021, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553 "2021-03-24T06:10:32Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 14\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/1 "2021-03-24T06:10:32Z")

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(Bonus points to readers if you get the literary reference.)

Nutritionists and weight-loss gurus often advise people to make grocery shopping lists and don’t shop while you are hungry. I manage to follow the former advice almost 100% of the time, and if I shop while hungry…well, I’m good at self-righteously turning away from evil snack foods, because it only takes a moment of resolve to do so.

But then I get home to my somewhat rural/remote location, and night falls. It’s 8 or 9 pm, and while the grocery stores I frequent often stay open until 11pm or maybe midnight, they are a 30-40 minute drive away in the dark. And I probably drank a glass of wine at 6 or 7, maybe two, and I have a zero-tolerance rule against driving following alcohol consumption.

So there I am, wistfully wishing I had some crunchy Cheetos. Or at least a bag of regular Fritos! Better yet, a can of bean dip to go with the Fritos. And Bugles! (Shameful though it is, I love Bugles.)

So basically, the reason I’m fairly healthy and not terribly overweight is because I have no real access to junk food when the mood strikes. If I had a 7/11 or a Store 24 a short walk or drive away, I would be in big trouble.

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**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/2 "2021-03-24T13:03:29Z")

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[I’ll take the bonus points, I could use some!](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Have_No_Mouth,_and_I_Must_Scream)  
We also don’t buy junk food, but I guess it depends what you consider junk. Our go-to “shove something in your mouth right now” is peanuts. Husband always buys honey-roasted, but I get lightly salted. However, if they ever come out with a variety called insanely crusted with salt, I would go for that.

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**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/3 "2021-03-24T15:08:39Z")

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> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> I’ll take the bonus points, I could use some!

I’ve long been disappointed that Scott Adams didn’t use it as a subtitle for one of his Dilbert collections.

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**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/4 "2021-03-24T16:00:46Z")

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That’s what chocolate chips and saltine crackers are for - emergency snacking!

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**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/5 "2021-03-24T16:50:09Z")

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Funny you should say that - I do spend time contemplating, “well, since there are no Cheetos in the house, what the heck _can_ I munch?” I don’t have much of a sweet tooth when craving a snack (Salt! I want SALT!) so chocolate chips aren’t high on my list of options (though see below), but saltines would do the trick nicely.

Sadly, I don’t keep crackers around because it is too humid here - no matter how carefully an open box is sealed up, crackers get stale and soggy really fast.

A couple of the available snacks I’ve been reduced to eating:

- A nice slice of homemade bread (I almost always have good bread in the house) covered in butter or olive oil and either nuked in the microwave (if left uncovered the bread will “toast” in the fat) or sautéed in cast iron. Salt added as required. Voila, the need for grease, crunch, and salt is met.

- A banana with assorted toppings, definitely peanut butter and chocolate chips, possibly brown sugar or a crumbled muffin, nice if slightly warmed.

Those aren’t too bad, but aren’t what I really want. I want my ghastly food-like substances!

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**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/6 "2021-03-24T16:55:44Z")

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> [@Dung\_Beetle](#):
>
> Our go-to “shove something in your mouth right now” is peanuts.

I like those big jars of mixed nuts from Costco - they keep really well, are delicious, and at least you get some nutrients for your snacking.

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**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/7 "2021-03-24T17:04:37Z")

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Get a big box of snack bags and stick to one or two per day.

> **[Amazon.com: Frito-Lay Variety Pack, Party Mix, 40 Count](https://www.amazon.com/Frito-Lay-Party-Variety-Pack-Count/dp/B076H2J9TZ)**
>
> Amazon.com: Frito-Lay Variety Pack, Party Mix, 40 Count

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**Author:** ![Dandan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@Dandan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dandan)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/8 "2021-03-24T17:16:22Z")

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BIL likes peanuts in the shell - slows down consumption. Don’t like peanuts? How about Brazil nuts in the shell - REALLY slow things down.

Fan

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**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/9 "2021-03-24T21:50:17Z")

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> [@Skywatcher](#):
>
> Get a big box of snack bags and stick to one or two per day.

You know if I got that 40-count package it would be gone in about 10 days. 😋

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**Author:** ![Akaj](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/akaj/32/145_2.png) [@Akaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akaj)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/10 "2021-03-24T22:21:55Z")

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My secret last-ditch snack food? Smearing a still-frozen Eggo with butter, cream cheese or peanut butter.

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**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\
**Post date:** [March 24, 2021, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/11 "2021-03-24T22:54:10Z")

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> [@CairoCarol](#):
>
> You know if I got that 40-count package it would be gone in about 10 days.

I need to re-read Steven King’s “Quitters, Inc.”. There were effective urge-curbing strategies, there, IIRC.

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**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\
**Post date:** [March 25, 2021, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/12 "2021-03-25T09:48:42Z")

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I’ve been known to eat a bag of salad croutons when I was craving salty crunchy snacks.

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**Author:** ![alovem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@alovem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alovem)\
**Post date:** [March 25, 2021, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/13 "2021-03-25T10:45:02Z")

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Whatever you do, stay away from pork rinds! Nuts are good, but not for me for late-night snacking (heartburn). Crudités are good, although I’m guessing you don’t want to hear about vegetables. I usually have home-made gyozas in the freezer, but that takes a little preparation (with rice for dinner). Sadly, there’s always rice cakes… 🙂

ETA: Popcorn hits the spot.

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**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\
**Post date:** [March 25, 2021, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-junk-food-and-i-must-snack/938553/14 "2021-03-25T11:24:41Z")

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Keep already washed and sliced veggies and fruit in your fridge. Sliced radishes are a great alternative to salty snacks. I chow down on them at work.
