# I have no pubic hair! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465 "2003-11-21T07:23:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Already\_in\_Use](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@Already\_in\_Use](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Already_in_Use)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/21 "2003-11-21T20:07:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scott evil \* > \*\*I just did the same thing three days ago (without the brown running bathwater, thank you for that visual ;)). I couldn’t find the #1 clipper attachment, and then suddenly I messed up and there was a bald patch, so before I knew it, there was _none._ > > Aloe lotion helped… no itching. But it looks stupid. In a way, I’m glad there’s a transit strike on, because that means I can’t make it to the gym, and therefore no one will see my barely-pubescent-looking crotch other than **jeremy evil**. Oh sure, I see plenty of pubeless guys there, but I just don’t want to be yet another one. \*\* In light of your recent [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=220886) critiquing bad male pube styling decisions, it seems that Gaudere’s Law can be applied to crotch shaving. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/22 "2003-11-21T20:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Evil Captor \* > \*\*Lotta guys like shaved pussies a LOT. Plus, they make oral sex eaiser. \*\* I respectfully disagree on both counts. Different strokes for different … gender non-specific folks. 😉 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/23 "2003-11-21T23:03:39Z")
Your boyfriend will like your new look…next thing, surprise him by wearing a thong swimsuit…you can’t wear one without being shaved. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2003, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/24 "2003-11-21T23:11:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Evil Captor \* > \*\*Plus, they make oral sex easier. \*\* BING BING BING! We have a winner! While I have no heartburn with hair down there, it’s a little more pleasant to go down there if there’s not some sort of crotch afro going on. One thing… if you’re going to shave it, do it pretty often. That sandpapery action after a few days is pretty damn awful if a certain male part pops out and rubs across that. ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/25 "2003-11-22T00:13:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bump \* > \*\*BING BING BING! We have a winner! > > While I have no heartburn with hair down there, it’s a little more pleasant to go down there if there’s not some sort of crotch afro going on. > > One thing… if you’re going to shave it, do it pretty often. That sandpapery action after a few days is pretty damn awful if a certain male part pops out and rubs across that. \*\* Mebbe so, I don’t really mind either way. But if there’s an afro, please make sure you’ve got the evidence of your activities cleaned up before you talk to your friends. I knew a guy in the Army that would spend about half his mornings at breakfast in the mess hall picking pubic hairs out of his teeth. I agree on the sandpaper thing – Pinky should not have a 5 o’clock shadow. Either bare, neatly trimmed or full out fro, but no stubble. Wait until you’ve got a week or so between your sexual encounters to let it grow out. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/26 "2003-11-22T01:28:13Z")
It’s the holiday season, so tell him you had a moment of generosity and gave it to the guy with the bucket and the bell in front of the grocery store. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/27 "2003-11-22T03:04:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angel of the Lord \* > \*\*I have not shaved any part of my body for two weeks…I’m seeing my fiance this weekend… > > …I think that saying, “I spaced out” when he asks why I am suddenly hairless is going to lead to a three hour laughing fit, which is going to keep us from having sex… \*\* If you haven’t seen him for more than two weeks, there’s _no way_ it’s going to keep him from having sex. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/28 "2003-11-22T03:48:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Already in Use \* > \*\*In light of your recent [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=220886) critiquing bad male pube styling decisions, it seems that Gaudere’s Law can be applied to crotch shaving. \*\* Hey, it was meant to be an even trim job - which I approved of in my pube thread - but there was a mishap, and I had to go all the way. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/29 "2003-11-22T06:08:25Z")
> [@](#): > > Somehow, I think that saying, “I spaced out” when he asks why I am suddenly hairless is going to lead to a three hour laughing fit, which is going to keep us from having sex, which is why I put the razor down there in the first place, dammit! Try to be optimistic. Showing him you’re suddenly hairless could lead to three hours of sex. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/30 "2003-11-22T08:04:41Z")
Am I the only one who thinks there might be a subtext? Maybe this wasn’t an accident. Maybe you are telling yourself that you are too young to get married, or feel like you are not yet ready to commit. This is a very subtle act of self-mutilization. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/31 "2003-11-22T14:00:26Z")
Well, DMark, but as Freud said (sorta): Sometimes a shave is just a shave. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/32 "2003-11-22T14:01:35Z")
Oh, and “self-mutilation” is an interesting choice to use to describe the removal of body hair. Do you use the same term to describe all those guys who mutilate their faces by shaving off the hair on it? ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/33 "2003-11-22T14:57:56Z")
Damn, I wasn’t aware I was into “self mutilation”. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/34 "2003-11-22T19:34:09Z")
Damn, **bup** , you were right. We definately had sex. I think it might’ve measured on the Richter scale. Very, very nice. Don’t think it had anything to do with my new 'do, though. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by DMark_ > **This is a very subtle act of self-mutilization.** Maybe, but hell, if self mutilization is going to lead to wild, nekkid, omigod-I-think-the-whole-street-heard-us sex, sign me up for the mailing list! :D. ---
**Author:** ![scott\_evil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@scott\_evil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott_evil)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/35 "2003-11-25T01:37:00Z")
How long does this stuff take to grow back? 😕 :smack: Why wasn’t I able to figure out those clippers? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/36 "2003-11-25T01:41:55Z")
My new favorite word is **mutilization** , and its verb form, **mutilize**. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/37 "2003-11-25T03:01:36Z")
Tell him you shaved it off as a political protest… **No More Bush!** ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/38 "2003-11-25T04:40:47Z")
Eh, mutilation, mutilization, whatever :). **scott** , in my experience it takes about 2-3 weeks to get to “normal.” I’m a chick, though; it might be different for guys. ---
**Author:** ![wendyrules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/85e7bf/32.png) [@wendyrules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wendyrules)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/39 "2003-11-25T05:21:48Z")
To solve the problem of not having to suffer the prickles of it growing back, you simply re-shave every time you start to get a hint of the slightest prickle! Problem solved! _wink_ ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2003, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465/40 "2003-11-25T06:44:04Z")
Well If you remember, there already was a thread full if great pubic grooming tips: [Me and My Shorn Scrotum (In all probability way TMI)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=201112) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-no-pubic-hair/214465.md?page=3)