# I have now guaranteed that every man in a 50 mile radius will run at my approach... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2006, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230 "2006-11-06T00:44:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/1 "2006-11-06T00:44:04Z")
Not only did I just purchase a red Minnie Mouse holiday sweater for myself, but I purchased a matching one for my dog. Yes, you read that correctly, my little fluffy dog and I are going to be wearing matching red Minnie Mouse holiday sweaters. Men will instantaneously be repelled by my very presence in their neighbourhoods. They will run screaming at my approach. They will weap and cry like little girls. Frankly, it’s a shame that I have no way to catch it all on film… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/2 "2006-11-06T00:52:27Z")
What hs your dog done to merit such mistreatment? Animal abuse is againsrt the law. ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/3 "2006-11-06T01:20:55Z")
You can’t just make a statement like that without pictures. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/4 "2006-11-06T01:22:12Z")
[QUOTE=gonzomax] What hs your dog done to merit such mistreatment? Animal abuse is againsrt the law. [/QUOTE] Nuh uh! He loves it - he was prancing around showing it off. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/5 "2006-11-06T02:26:52Z")
**alice** , Why don’t you just buy seventeen cats and get it over with. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/6 "2006-11-06T02:40:32Z")
Aww-c’mon over. I’d like to see what your form does for Minnie’s ears. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/7 "2006-11-06T03:21:24Z")
Sorry. I’m outta here! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/8 "2006-11-06T03:40:02Z")
So, um…does that mean that we can’t boink like wild rabbits? ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/9 "2006-11-06T04:12:17Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Nuh uh! He loves it - he was prancing around showing it off. [/QUOTE] What you see as ‘showing it off,’ was almsot certainly him looking for someone to end his miserable torment. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/10 "2006-11-06T04:35:59Z")
I promise I will not flee when you get within 50 miles. I will flee only if I see you and your fashion-accessory mongrel. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/11 "2006-11-06T04:37:33Z")
That dog is totally going to get his ass kicked by the other dogs in the neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/12 "2006-11-06T11:43:14Z")
This is very true. You’ve set up a sure fire way to get your dog’s head peed on when you’re not looking. Don’t you DARE go to the dog park when he’s dressed up like that. Hell, if I see it, I might pee on your dog’s head. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/13 "2006-11-06T11:56:13Z")
You realise it’s a dog and not a person right? Poor thing. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/14 "2006-11-06T12:01:40Z")
[The Fourth Knitter of the Apocalypse](http://4thknitter.blogspot.com/) I’m blowin’ my own horn here, but it is for a good cause. Hideous Knitwear. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/15 "2006-11-06T15:16:16Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] [The Fourth Knitter of the Apocalypse](http://4thknitter.blogspot.com/) [/QUOTE] Holy moly. That stuff is wrong. Just wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Subway\_Prophet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Subway\_Prophet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subway_Prophet)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/16 "2006-11-06T15:16:23Z")
Perhaps matching Minnie skirts will bring the guys around… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/17 "2006-11-06T15:28:07Z")
You guys are mean. My dog LOOOOVES his new sweater. If it helps, he’s actually the biggest dog in my neighbourhood, weighing in at a rompin’ stompin’ 16 pounds of fury. The little 6 pound chahuahuas won’t be peein’ on nuthin!. Also, as you boys forget, a red holiday sweater on a fluffy little dog is a magnet for chicks who are just _dying_ to scratch his belly. My dog is a total belly scratch slut, so he ain’t complaining. Furthermore, my mother is convinced that by wearing the sweaters I will attract the “animal lover” subset of men. I’m not convinced. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/18 "2006-11-06T15:31:28Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Furthermore, my mother is convinced that by wearing the sweaters I will attract the “animal lover” subset of men. I’m not convinced. [/QUOTE] By this I can only assume that your mother is referring to “Men who love animals” in the Jerry Springer sense. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/19 "2006-11-06T15:43:44Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Men will instantaneously be repelled by my very presence in their neighbourhoods. They will run screaming at my approach. They will weap and cry like little girls. Frankly, it’s a shame that I have no way to catch it all on film… 😃 [/QUOTE] Well, first, did you WANT men to flee? If NOT, I’m wondering whether you live within 500 miles of me and whether you are considered CUTE? I mean, it may be bad for you, but it would mean more Alice for me! (Too bad there isn’t an emoticon for rubbing hands together enthusiastically.) 😉 * * * True Blue Jack ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/20 "2006-11-06T15:47:32Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Also, as you boys forget, a red holiday sweater on a fluffy little dog is a magnet for chicks who are just _dying_ to scratch his belly. My dog is a total belly scratch slut, so he ain’t complaining. [/QUOTE] So – are you planning to act like a dog, and lie on your back so that men can scratch your belly? That might work for some men 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230.md?page=2)