# I have now guaranteed that every man in a 50 mile radius will run at my approach... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2006, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230 "2006-11-06T00:44:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/21 "2006-11-06T15:55:01Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] So, um…does that mean that we can’t boink like wild rabbits? [/QUOTE] Perhaps you two could boink like cartoon mice instead. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2006, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/22 "2006-11-06T16:02:25Z")
[QUOTE=True Blue Jack] If NOT, I’m wondering whether you live within 500 miles of me and whether you are considered CUTE? [/QUOTE] Yes, I am considered cute. Not nearly as cute as my _widdle, fuzzy, wuzzy, puppy head_ though! Now what you really need is a barfing smilie, not a rubbing hands together smilie. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/23 "2006-11-07T03:06:17Z")
Now I’m pretty sure you won’t scare away all of the men. I mean some of the men in your area are probably blind. Some of them have probably had lobotomies. A proportion of them are probably gay and fabulous; a miniscule percentage own their own Minnie Mouse sweaters; and more men than women are colourblind. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/24 "2006-11-07T08:32:12Z")
[QUOTE=Giles] So – are you planning to act like a dog, and lie on your back so that men can scratch your belly? That might work for some men 🙂 [/QUOTE] It would certainly work for me ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/25 "2006-11-07T09:05:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Some of them have probably had lobotomies. Nah, not so many of those folks around anymore, which is a good thing despite the protection severing the prefronal cortex from the rest of the brain would provide in this situation. On the bright side, there are probably some people who will just think **alice** and \*\*mousepup \*\*are a hallucination. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/26 "2006-11-07T15:27:36Z")
[QUOTE=phall0106] Holy moly. That stuff is wrong. Just wrong. [/QUOTE] One of my co-workers wears stuff like that all the time in winter and fall months. She has one for every holiday, and dozens of non-specific seasonal ones featuring scarecrows or dancing snowmen. She augments each with a brooch and scarf which carries the theme. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/27 "2006-11-07T16:08:33Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] That dog is totally going to get his ass kicked by the other dogs in the neighborhood. [/QUOTE] [Macaulay Culkin] “A dog can get beat up, wearing stuff like that…!” [Macaulay Culkin] ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/28 "2006-11-07T16:28:19Z")
Men?! I’m sorry, you’d get this woman to run screaming from you and your doggie. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/29 "2006-11-07T17:04:12Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] [The Fourth Knitter of the Apocalypse](http://4thknitter.blogspot.com/) [/QUOTE] “Terry Schiavo’s sweater”? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/30 "2006-11-07T17:11:30Z")
Somewhere, Zaphod’s peril-sensitive sunglasses just went dark, and Paris Hilton just threw up a little in her mouth. The latter might just be the drugs, though. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/31 "2006-11-07T18:36:56Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] [The Fourth Knitter of the Apocalypse](http://4thknitter.blogspot.com/) [/QUOTE] I have to say, as much as I admire the knitting skill required to create these…items, my Minnie Mouse sweater (and Voltaire’s) aren’t quite this…uh…attractive. Mine is just a red sweater with a Minnie Mouse wearing santa hat decal. BTW - as if Paris Hilton doesn’t dress her pet du jour in outfits that match her own. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/32 "2006-11-07T18:43:31Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] BTW - as if Paris Hilton doesn’t dress her pet du jour in outfits that match her own. [/QUOTE] Yanno, if invoking Paris Hilton is the best you can do for a defense, you’re on pretty shaky ground here. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/33 "2006-11-07T18:46:36Z")
You’re a sick, demented woman, **alice**. I would also like pictures please. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/34 "2006-11-07T18:54:42Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] You’re a sick, demented woman, **alice**. [/QUOTE] As long as it keeps the boys away, I can live with that… ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/35 "2006-11-07T19:19:45Z")
Add a pair of Birkenstocks and some multi-colored leggings to your outfit and you’ll never be bothered by men again! ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/36 "2006-11-07T19:25:50Z")
[QUOTE=Spiff] Add a pair of Birkenstocks and some multi-colored leggings to your outfit and you’ll never be bothered by men again! [/QUOTE] Uh, yah - this is actually making my eyes bleed just thinking about it, but thanks for the idea anyway. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/37 "2006-11-07T20:32:51Z")
Nordberg or Quincy would rip my arm off if I did that to them. I would deserve it. Beagles got too much self respect. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/38 "2006-11-07T20:52:13Z")
[QUOTE=gonzomax] Nordberg or Quincy would rip my arm off if I did that to them. I would deserve it. Beagles got too much self respect. [/QUOTE] BAH!! My doggie loves his sweater. He also loves his shearling coat. For the record, I live in a place that gets very cold in the winter - Voltaire’s vet approves of clothing for him, particularly booties, on very cold days, humiliation be damned. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/39 "2006-11-08T02:51:24Z")
Voltaire’s vet knitted it for him. It’s some sort of weird totem. Yeah, why are we trying to keep guys away? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2006, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230/40 "2006-11-08T17:39:32Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Yeah, why are we trying to keep guys away? [/QUOTE] Because boys are dumb. Throw rocks at them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-now-guaranteed-that-every-man-in-a-50-mile-radius-will-run-at-my-approach/379230.md?page=3)