# I Have Serious Wolf-ass **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 17, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233 "2001-04-17T02:26:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/1 "2001-04-17T02:26:31Z")
I love Snider’s jalapeno flavored potato chips. Yesterday, I ummm… ate a whole bag. Had stomach rumblings on the way to work. Got there, hit the men’s room, and started to do my business. **HHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLL!** Holy spicy crap it hurt! I guess it’s the combination of grease and heat. Worst part was had to go a couple of more times as well. And they have that sandpaper toilet paper at work, too. ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/2 "2001-04-17T02:44:18Z")
Er, is there a rant here? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/3 "2001-04-17T02:49:42Z")
I’m angry about the above scenario (I had thought that was obvious.) It’s a vague and nonspecific anger, but it’s there nonetheless. If I asked you to chew on a tube of Preparation H, and then orally apply it to my fiery orifice would that qualify as pit-worthy to you? ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/4 "2001-04-17T03:09:13Z")
Yes!! Much better!! 😃 Although the judges unfortunately can’t give you any extra points for the OP, ‘cause you had to add clarification in an additional post. So I’m gonna have to go with a basic **6.0**. But we’re still waiting to hear from the other judges, you know, so sit tight. [sub]you sounded like maybe you were actually kinda enjoyin’ the experience, ya know? Ambivalent, like. So I wasn’t sure. Some people do, you know. All together now–EEEWWWWWWW…[/sub] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/5 "2001-04-17T03:14:19Z")
::mutter mutter:: Allright Duck, you’re on the list. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/6 "2001-04-17T04:28:14Z")
[Jerry McGuire Mode] You had me at “I have Serious Wolf-ass.” [/Jerry McGuire Mode] Honestly, with the subject line like that, who cares what the rest of the rant is like? ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/7 "2001-04-17T04:52:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > hit the men’s room, and started to do my business. > > **HHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLLLLL!** Ahem, is this supposed to be some sort of _avant garde_ rant!? ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/8 "2001-04-17T05:07:23Z")
**Scylla** , that is god’s way of anally raping you. Consider yourself, if not just your ass, to be damned. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/9 "2001-04-17T05:37:33Z")
_mutter, snarl, complain_ Why the hell does it have to be “wolf”-ass? Why couldn’t it have been jackal-ass, or dog-ass? Or even Scylla-ass? Why the hell involve the wolves? _damn toilet humour …_ ---
**Author:** ![frobozz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed8c4c/32.png) [@frobozz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frobozz)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/10 "2001-04-17T11:49:05Z")
Here’s my regular Thursday night lineup: Lots of beer. Lots of Buffalo wings, as hot as they come. Lots of Jalapeno poppers. Lots of beer. Do you have any idea what my Friday mornings are like? Wolf-ass is just the _beginning_… ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/11 "2001-04-17T12:27:51Z")
frobozz, I hope you’re not a bottom . . . 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/12 "2001-04-17T19:56:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Ahem, is this supposed to be some sort of avant garde rant!? I saw the best scyllas of my generation destroyed by peppers, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the bathroom stalls at dawn looking for a roll of charmin And it’s **beat** , dammit! Don’t tread on my literary genres. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/13 "2001-04-17T21:43:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spiritus Mundi \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Ahem, is this supposed to be some sort of avant garde rant!? > > I saw the best scyllas of my generation destroyed by peppers, starving hysterical naked, > dragging themselves through the bathroom stalls at dawn looking for a roll of charmin > > And it’s **beat** , dammit! Don’t tread on my literary genres. \*\* snap snap snap snap snap …groovy man… snap snap snap So does this beret make me a chick magnet? ---
**Author:** ![Pariah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/41988e/32.png) [@Pariah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pariah)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/14 "2001-04-17T21:51:24Z")
I thought this was gonna be about “Come Together II: Remix v1.4” _Here come ol’ Wolf-ass he got jalapeno He one howlin’ bunghole He say ‘Ay caramba’ Drops his pants down below his knees He stay doubled over til he do what he please_ [sub]All rights reserved, of course.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/15 "2001-04-17T22:50:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by frobozz \* > \*\*Here’s my regular Thursday night lineup: > > Lots of beer. > Lots of Buffalo wings, as hot as they come. > Lots of Jalapeno poppers. > Lots of beer. > > Do you have any idea what my Friday mornings are like? Wolf-ass is just the _beginning_… \*\* You realize, of course, that your colon probably hates you. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2001, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/16 "2001-04-17T23:20:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ice Wolf \* > \*\*_mutter, snarl, complain_ > > Why the hell does it have to be “wolf”-ass? Why couldn’t it have been jackal-ass, or dog-ass? Or even Scylla-ass? Why the hell involve the wolves? > \*\* I agree. Obviously Scylla’s jealous of our manly, wolf-like good looks, and our lupine posting nature. I’m torn that a poster I so admire could be so terribly, terribly hate-filled. I weep. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/17 "2001-04-18T00:18:26Z")
Apparently I’ve offended all the lupine-enabled posters on this board with my term “wolf-ass.” For the record, I think there is nothing wrong with being wolf-like, nor am I insinuating anything unsavory about wolves’ anuses. Wolf-ass simply means that it hurts so bad, you howl. Some of my best friends are lupine. ---
**Author:** ![Sterra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/18 "2001-04-18T01:45:53Z")
Cookass! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/19 "2001-04-18T04:05:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > \*\*Apparently I’ve offended all the lupine-enabled posters on this board with my term “wolf-ass.” > > For the record, I think there is nothing wrong with being wolf-like, nor am I insinuating anything unsavory about wolves’ anuses. > > Wolf-ass simply means that it hurts so bad, you howl. > \*\* \ No waaaay, pal: it hurts so good \ Great. Now I’ve just grossed myself out. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bc8723/32.png) [@Dark\_Lord\_Davidson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Lord_Davidson)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233/20 "2001-04-18T04:43:08Z")
Wolf-ass? What a letdown! I thought he meant that his ass grew fur during a full moon! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-serious-wolf-ass/62233.md?page=2)