# I have SOULS for sale! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 9, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553 "2010-12-09T17:43:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/1 "2010-12-09T17:43:02Z")
My master has vastly overestimated his need and has stolen far more souls than he can comfortably consume in three ages. He’s set aside his own supply and I am under orders to liquidate the remaining inventory–EVERYTHING must go! I have old souls, young souls, famous souls and souls of the broken, the beaten and The Damned (yes, even Captain Sensible!). Chances are if you’ve heard of them, I have them. Master has a notable preference for the especially devout & humble as they are naturally naive and sweet upon his palate, you won’t have heard of anyone on his plate. Taking bids now! Please pay in suffering and humiliation at the time of exchange. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/2 "2010-12-09T17:46:15Z")
Sorry, I don’t like soul food. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/3 "2010-12-09T17:48:02Z")
Someone’s posting drunk again. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/4 "2010-12-09T18:08:25Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > I have old souls, young souls, famous souls and souls of the broken, the beaten and The Damned (yes, even Captain Sensible!). Can I get a good group rate on Gerard and the gang so I can have some sway in getting them to create a strongly-themed album? ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/5 "2010-12-09T19:54:30Z")
\ No comment. Simply moved. Marketplace \> MPSIMS \ ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/6 "2010-12-09T20:02:21Z")
Can I purchase options on the souls of those yet living and undamned? ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/7 "2010-12-09T20:33:42Z")
If I get a soul, what do I feed it? Do I have to take it for walks or will a litter box do? ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/8 "2010-12-09T20:38:15Z")
I find the poster’s name/topic combination to be somewhat funny, if in a roundabout way. **Inigo Montoya** is the name of the guy from _The Princess Bride_ that was played by Mandy Pantinkin, who starred in _Dead Like Me_ wherein he played a Reaper who collected people’s souls before they die. That was my sole reason for posting. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/9 "2010-12-09T20:41:22Z")
Shouldn’t this be in Marketplace? ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/10 "2010-12-09T20:42:37Z")
Do you have any pre-owned souls? i really hate the depreciation hit when buying new. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/11 "2010-12-09T20:57:33Z")
> [@davidm](#): > > Shouldn’t this be in Marketplace? It started in the marketplace. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/12 "2010-12-09T21:10:29Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > Do you have any pre-owned souls? i really hate the depreciation hit when buying new. The problem with a pre-owned soul is that you’ve no idea what the previous owner may have done with it. “Re-conditioned” or “re-furbished”? Don’t spend the money, even if you get it right from the dealership. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/13 "2010-12-09T21:20:50Z")
Do you have any souls of big legged women? I’m not certain, but I’ve heard those are rare… ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/14 "2010-12-09T21:37:03Z")
Do you have any white and plump souls? It would make a nice contrast to my black and shrivelled one. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/15 "2010-12-09T22:23:52Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Do you have any souls of big legged women? I’m not certain, but I’ve heard those are rare… I lol’d, I admit it. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/16 "2010-12-09T23:45:25Z")
Do you have the soul of [Nikolai Gogol](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Souls)? ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/17 "2010-12-10T02:19:08Z")
> [@Emily\_Litella](#): > > Do you have the soul of [Nikolai Gogol](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_Souls)? Yes, I need souls who can till a furrow or attend the birthing of piglets. In fact the Empress of Palms is is ready to deliver any day now. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/18 "2010-12-10T04:35:30Z")
If you have any spares, you might want to donate one to the president since he just sold his. ---
**Author:** ![dzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@dzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzero)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/19 "2010-12-10T04:55:42Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Can I purchase options on the souls of those yet living and undamned? Yes. And what is the vig if I just need to borrow a few? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553/20 "2010-12-10T18:42:54Z")
Is there some sort of group rate/package deal on pagan babies? Back when I was in (Catholic) grade school I think the rate was like a dollar a dozen but I figure there’s been lots of inflation adjustments over the years. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-souls-for-sale/563553.md?page=2)