# I have stigmata!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140
**Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
**Created:** [June 30, 1999, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140 "1999-06-30T02:05:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 14
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [June 30, 1999, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/1 "1999-06-30T02:05:00Z")
From time to time, I get a small rash on my left side, a few inches below my pectoral muscle. It’s about the same shape and position as the gash that Christ has in most of the paintings that depict His crucifixion. Up until today, I merely found it annoying, but now I realize it’s stigmata. Are there any other cases of this type of stigmata, as opposed to the bleeding hands/wrists that Cecil described? Also where do I apply for beatification?
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [June 30, 1999, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/2 "1999-06-30T16:50:00Z")
hey greg-
A good dermatologist will be able to clear that up with a few anti miracle pills!
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [June 30, 1999, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/3 "1999-06-30T18:17:00Z")
I think abrasions around the crown of the head also count as symptoms of stigmata, but untill you can do the whole walking on water/bread and fishes/ resurection thing, I’d just write it off as acne.
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [June 30, 1999, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/4 "1999-06-30T22:15:00Z")
So every time I get drunk at a party and fall down stairs I get stigmata around my head?? Cool. 🙂
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 13, 1999, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/5 "1999-07-13T03:54:00Z")
Greg Charles posted:
> [@](#):
>
> From time to time, I get a small rash on my left side, a few inches below my pectoral muscle. It’s about the same shape and position as the gash that Christ has in most of the paintings that depict His crucifixion. Up until today, I merely found it annoying, but now I realize it’s stigmata. Are there any other cases of this type of stigmata, as opposed to the bleeding hands/wrists that Cecil described? Also where do I apply for beatification?
1. It’d have to be a little bit lower. The soldier’s spear would have had to pierce below the rib cage to open up an abdominal cavity so that _blood and water flowed from his side_.
2. Just because it looks like what you see in paintings (where artists practice their artistic license), doesn’t mean that’s where the piercing actually took place or what it looked like.
3. Yes, there have been stigmatics with the wound on the side; but only in conjunction with the stigmata on the hands.
4. Stigmata is _ **not** _ a rash. It is a flow of blood out of an open wound. The wound has to be such that it can only be explained through miraculous intervention; and not by any natural, medical means.
5. Stigmatics have been devoutly religious people who commiserated or obsessed over the crucifixion. To put it as politely as I can, that doesn’t seem to be the case with you. If you’re not sure it’s stigmata, it ain’t.
6. To apply for authentication, you’ll have to go to a Catholic, Orthodox, or Anglican church (the other Christian denominations don’t seem to be _into_ stigmatas). Although, the Roman Catholic Church seems to be the one to go to for the really authentic stamp of approval (however unlikely your case for stigmata may be). You’ll have to undergo rather rigorous medical exams. The bar for ‘proving’ that it is actual stigmata is rather high. You have to show that the ‘rash’ is more than just unexplainable; but that it’s downright contrary to the natural laws of science. (This is the same high bar for ‘proving’ miraculous healings, other miracles, or demonic possession – the modern RCC can be rather skeptical.)
7. As far as the application for beatification, you need to obtain the first prerequisite – death.
Peace.
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 13, 1999, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/6 "1999-07-13T12:09:00Z")
Moriah says: \<\< Stigmatics have been devoutly religious people who commiserated or obsessed over the crucifixion. \>\>
Umhmm. Or outright frauds, too, let’s not forget _that_ bunch of stigmatics.
Here’s the link to the original column by Cecil on the topic: [http://www.straightdope.com/columns/980220.html](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/980220.html)
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 13, 1999, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/7 "1999-07-13T19:36:00Z")
"6. To apply for authentication, you’ll have to go to a Catholic, Orthodox, or Anglican
church (the other Christian denominations don’t seem to be into stigmatas). "
“Stigmatas”? The singular is ‘stigma’, the Greek plural ‘stigmata’. Of course, if you’re referring to multiple bodies displaying stigmata, you may have created an example of what are enigmata.
Ray (Whatsamata anyhow?)
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 14, 1999, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/8 "1999-07-14T05:08:00Z")
NanoByte posted
> [@](#):
>
> _“…(the other Christian denominations don’t seem to be into stigmatas).”_
>
> “Stigmatas”? The singular is ‘stigma’, the Greek plural ‘stigmata’. Of course, if you’re referring to multiple bodies displaying stigmata, you may have created an example of what are enigmata.
We may have unearthed multiple agendas.
Peace.
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 14, 1999, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/9 "1999-07-14T05:21:00Z")
I can’t be positive, of course, but I’m guessing that the OP, Greg Charles, had tongue in cheek with his post. Though I’ve enjoyed the responses.
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### Author:  [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)
#### Post date: [July 14, 1999, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/10 "1999-07-14T16:38:00Z")
Beatification sound too hard. I think I’ll just get some aloe.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2010, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/11 "2010-02-13T00:23:56Z")
It came back to life!
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### Author:  [@MeDrewNotYou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeDrewNotYou)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/12 "2010-02-13T01:19:20Z")
Before the zombie dies, anyone know why the earlier posters are missing name/join date/etc.?
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2010, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/13 "2010-02-13T02:02:36Z")
> [@MeDrewNotYou](#):
>
> Before the zombie dies, anyone know why the earlier posters are missing name/join date/etc.?
Jesus works in strange ways.
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### Author:  [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)
#### Post date: [February 13, 2010, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-stigmata/140/14 "2010-02-13T02:26:20Z")
\
People trying to put threads down,
(Talkin’ ‘bout their resurrection)
Just because they get around
(Talkin’ ‘bout their resurrection)
Threads are looking awful c-c-cold
(Talkin’ ‘bout their resurrection)
I hope they die before they get old
(Talkin’ 'bout their resurrection)
Too late. Zombie Jesus is walking. Let’s kill him now.
\*\* BLAM \*\* Closed.
\