# I have the house to myself **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005 "2007-03-22T12:29:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/1 "2007-03-22T12:29:38Z")
Technically, also my brother and dog. But only the dog counts. šŸ˜‰ My mumā€™s just left on a trip to Calgary. The house is empty until Sunday night. We have $80 for groceries. I ask you, Dopers: what to do first? ---
**Author:** ![Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/c4cdca/32.png) [@Quiddity\_Glomfuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quiddity_Glomfuster)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/2 "2007-03-22T12:33:37Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Technically, also my brother and dog. But only the dog counts. šŸ˜‰ My mumā€™s just left on a trip to Calgary. The house is empty until Sunday night. We have $80 for groceries. I ask you, Dopers: what to do first? [/QUOTE] Turn up your favourite music loud enough to fill the room but not deafen you, lie on the couch, turn off all the lights, and lose yourself. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/3 "2007-03-22T12:35:01Z")
Or laser tag. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/4 "2007-03-22T12:39:21Z")
Clean the place top to bottom as a nice surprise for your mom when she returns. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/5 "2007-03-22T12:56:02Z")
[QUOTE=Muffin] Clean the place top to bottom as a nice surprise for your mom when she returns. [/QUOTE] Isnā€™t that what youā€™re supposed to do _last_? ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/6 "2007-03-22T13:03:02Z")
Kick your brother out, lock the dog in the basement, hire two Japanese hookers and a midget, and borrow your neighboursā€™ rototiller. Break out the amphetamines and let the good times roll, oh yeaaaah! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/7 "2007-03-22T13:19:18Z")
Three words: hookers and beer. I say that one of the simple joys of living by yourself is walking around naked. You donā€™t have to worry about your wang bumping into counters and scaring the dog or anything, so thatā€™s safe. ---
**Author:** ![Canadiangirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Canadiangirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadiangirl)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/8 "2007-03-22T13:30:52Z")
Go to the grocery store, buy all the ingredients to make your very favourite dinner, come home, put them away, light lots of candles, pour a bath, todayā€™s nice, open the windows just a little bit for fresh air, get out of bath, pour a glass of wine / drink / beer whatever you prefer, lay on couch, enjoy your favorite music or silence, if your prefer. Then, later, make your very favourite dinner, then go for a walk in the neighbourhood. In the evening, have a cup of tea, enjoy the silence and/or favorite music. There you have it. the perfect day. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/9 "2007-03-22T17:20:00Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] Or laser tag. [/QUOTE] With Class IV (industrial/weapons grade) lasers. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/10 "2007-03-22T17:26:27Z")
I second the ā€œwalk around nakedā€ suggestion. Totally the best part of living alone. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/11 "2007-03-22T17:47:26Z")
Does this mean that weā€™re having a Toronto Dopefest at **Kytheria** ā€™s house this weekend? ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/12 "2007-03-22T18:04:13Z")
Throw a party. Easily twice a summer for the last 3 summers my parents have left town and Iā€™ve thrown huge parties. The key is to remember where all the fragile stuff you moved went, and clean the place top to bottom afterwards. Parents come homeā€¦ aww the house is clean! Plus the fact that you cleaned means that anything thatā€™s sort of out of place is just a result of you moving stuff around to clean. Just make sure nothing major or sentimental ends up in a bizarre place. One time I even took pictures before I started moving stuff around. ---
**Author:** ![Carnacki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Carnacki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnacki)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/13 "2007-03-22T18:13:59Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] Three words: hookers and beer. I say that one of the simple joys of living by yourself is walking around naked. You donā€™t have to worry about your wang bumping into counters and scaring the dog or anything, so thatā€™s safe. [/QUOTE] Bumping into counters? Sheesh, when Iā€™m clothed Iā€™m lucky if my wang bumps into my underwearā€¦erā€¦I meanā€¦ When I wake up, I have to be careful lest my wang open the front doorā€¦ ā€¦of the house across the street! ā€“KidShrinkage ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/14 "2007-03-22T19:24:13Z")
[QUOTE=KidScruffy] Sheesh, when Iā€™m clothed Iā€™m lucky if my wang bumps into my underwear. [/QUOTE] Ask **Diggleblop** if you can borrow some of his extra equipment. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/15 "2007-03-22T19:25:49Z")
Masturbate in the kitchen. Just because you can. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/16 "2007-03-22T19:34:56Z")
You must wear sunglasses, briefs, socks and a dress shirt. Crank up the Bob Seager, slide in you shock feet, and boogie! Then you order up the hookers and crash Dadā€™s car into a pond. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/17 "2007-03-22T19:48:28Z")
I know itā€™s easy to be wrong about names (cf **Malcandra** ), but isnā€™t the OP female? And Iā€™d say having a sibling present counts as ā€œnot aloneā€ for the purposes of walking around the house naked. ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/18 "2007-03-22T20:16:48Z")
Lay back on the couch and lose yourself in a good book. With your feet on the couch! :eek: :eek: :eek: If you make sure your feet are clean first, no one will ever know. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/19 "2007-03-22T20:21:39Z")
1. Get a keg. 2. Set alarm clock to Sunday morning. 3. Start drinking. _alarm goes off_ 4. Wake up from black out. 5. Clean house. ---
**Author:** ![enigm4tic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@enigm4tic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enigm4tic)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2007, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005/20 "2007-03-22T20:30:40Z")
[QUOTE=Tahssa] 1. Get a keg. 2. Set alarm clock to Sunday morning. 3. Start drinking. _alarm goes off_ 4. Wake up from black out. 5. Clean house. [/QUOTE] for bonus points, drink the keg just between you, your brother, and the dog. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-house-to-myself/397005.md?page=2)