# I have the oldest balloon ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 12, 2005, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691 "2005-11-12T07:09:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/1 "2005-11-12T07:09:45Z")
At least, the oldest balloon ever that I know of. It’s been around since May 2002. It’s a plain old latex balloon bouquet kind of balloon. It’s semi-deflated, so its kind of a floppy football. It had some of that spritz in it that makes balloons last, and boy does that stuff work. I have handled it (often the death of old balloons, as they crinkle under your fingers), I have drawn on it with permanent marker, it wore a plastic fireman’s helmet for about a year… it won’t die. It has survived three office moves packed in a cardboax box. It is the Rambo of balloons, the Prince Corwin, the Thing. It’s too dumb and too ugly to die. Anyway, is this the Elder Balloon? Or are there others out there to whom it must pay homage? ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/2 "2005-11-12T07:18:31Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > Anyway, is this the Elder Balloon? Or are there others out there to whom it must pay homage? Damn, I dunno. I’m about to pay homage to\* it\*. _genuflects at the Balloon_ ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/3 "2005-11-12T07:19:33Z")
Well there is the Great Balloon Beast, that is eight centuries old, but most balloon scholars agree that that’s only a legend. ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/4 "2005-11-12T07:22:15Z")
The Guinness World Record site shows [these 15 records](http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/) for the search term ‘balloon’- none having to do with ‘oldest’ or ‘longest-lasting.’ I think we should start a Straight Dope World Records and just give awards to people based on claims they make, on thier honor they tell the truth :D. ---
**Author:** ![andrewdt85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/71e660/32.png) [@andrewdt85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andrewdt85)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/5 "2005-11-12T07:23:23Z")
> [@andrewdt85](#): > > I think we should start a Straight Dope World Records and just give awards to people based on claims they make, on thier honor they tell the truth :D. I know someone who would win in the sheep category… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazon\_Floozy\_Goddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazon_Floozy_Goddess)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/6 "2005-11-12T08:11:28Z")
You must treat it with respect. If you intentionally kill it, the gas that escapes will vaporize your soul. I know these things. Don’t ask why. ---
**Author:** ![comrade33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@comrade33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/comrade33)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/7 "2005-11-12T08:18:23Z")
i used to work in a group home for the mentally handicapped and i worked with a person that loved baloons and we tried to keep them around as long as possible,so i came here thinking i could tell you of a balloon that asted longer, but i can’t. my hat is off to you and your balloon (which is obviously some kind of sign from god or something). ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/8 "2005-11-12T09:48:42Z")
I think this thread needs pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/9 "2005-11-12T14:59:32Z")
> [@Giant\_Spongess](#): > > I think this thread needs pictures. I’ll have to take one. I must warn you in advance, I drew a scary halloween-esque face on it in (if I recall correctly) October of '02. So it’s a kind of scary Elder Balloon. ---
**Author:** ![Brainiac4](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brainiac4/32/3534_2.png) [@Brainiac4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brainiac4)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/10 "2005-11-12T15:01:05Z")
> [@Amazon Floozy Goddess](#): > > You must treat it with respect. If you intentionally kill it, the gas that escapes will vaporize your soul. > > I know these things. Don’t ask why. Must… not… ask… whyyyyyyyyy… ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/11 "2005-11-12T15:03:48Z")
I belong to BE–balloon euthanasiasts. Kill the 'loon! Kill the 'loon, Kill the 'loon! But, first a picture, please. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/12 "2005-11-12T16:21:49Z")
A friend at a previous job had (by the time I left) an eight year old mylar birthday balloon from his daughter’s first birthday. It was still inflated (with air) and showed no signs of age. Your latex lagabout is but a mere Johnny-come-lately, a usurper to the throne, a balloonatic. Harumph. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![qubed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f07891/32.png) [@qubed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/qubed)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/13 "2005-11-12T17:53:15Z")
I once had a helium foil balloon for about 10 years. It was still half-inflated, but in pristine shape. It was gift when i broke my arm as a kid, and it managed to stay in my closet for those years. Eventually i just chucked it. ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/14 "2005-11-12T18:03:01Z")
8 years? 10? Please. Amateurs. I have a _seventy five year old_ bag of hot air. I keep him in Virginia and I call him Pat Robertson. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/15 "2005-11-12T20:15:31Z")
> [@Brainiac4](#): > > I’ll have to take one. I must warn you in advance, I drew a scary halloween-esque face on it in (if I recall correctly) October of '02. > > So it’s a kind of scary Elder Balloon. Ia! Ia! Balloon fhtagn! ---
**Author:** ![pahopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b487fb/32.png) [@pahopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pahopper)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2015, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/16 "2015-11-02T12:30:13Z")
I still have a foil balloon which my girlfriend gave me for Valentines Day in 1999 and its as taught and filled today as the day she gave it to me. It’s safely kept behind glass now but still where I can see it. Don’t understand why its still going but keeping it to see how long it lasts! ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2015, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/17 "2015-11-02T12:54:15Z")
So what is the balloon’s name? And how often do you talk to him? (I’m thinking of the movie “Castaway”, where Tom Hanks’ faithful partner was a deflated soccer ball named Wilson.) ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2015, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/18 "2015-11-02T13:46:21Z")
If we’re going to resurrect zombies, can we not do it to ones with a typo in the thread title? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/19 "2015-11-02T14:11:27Z")
> [@MoonMoon](#): > > If we’re going to resurrect zombies, can we not do it to ones with a typo in the thread title? 😛 Ooops! I hadn’t noticed this was a zombie. But then, on the other hand, if you’re gonna resurrect an ancient thread, it might as well be on a topic dealing with old age, right ? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2015, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691/20 "2015-11-02T14:26:25Z")
I can see deflating and packing away a balloon as a memento if it had super special meaning but why in gods name would you keep an inflated balloon around!? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-the-oldest-balloon-ever/330691.md?page=2)