# I have this problem with pets... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 1999, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873 "1999-12-07T07:32:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/1 "1999-12-07T07:32:00Z")
I’ll come right out and say it. I hate pets! I can’t help it. I can’t stand to find animal hair on my clothes or furniture or to find that an animal has eaten, torn, ripped of soiled in some way any article of clothing, a rug or furniture. I despise the smell of animals in the house, especially a **litterbox** (yecchh!) I hate it when I allow a cat to walk across my lap only to have the unappreciative beast raise its tail at me as it passes by. I detest it when dogs dig holes, crap all over, tear the hell out of the lawn and their stupid doggie toys and leave little pieces of plastic all over the yard. I can’t stand to hear some stupid, mangy dog barking and barking and barking or some sex-starved, horny-ass cat meowing **all night long**! I am mortified when people let their cats walk on their, ick, **countertops and tables**. That is disgusting! I mean, come on people, this is where food is prepared and served! I am disgusted when people _kiss_ their pets, and let the animals actually get their nasty, disease-infested, slobbery, grody tongues on their mouth and lips! Ack! OK, enough of my “pet” peeve. Other than this, I’m a nice enough guy. Guess this puts me out of the running to date Michelle huh? 😉 * * * “Teaching without words and work without doing are understood by very few.” -Tao Te Ching ---
**Author:** ![Sake\_Samurai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sake\_Samurai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sake_Samurai)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/2 "1999-12-07T07:39:00Z")
Oh, won’t it be delicious irony when our Masters return to Earth and you learn that you, in fact, **ARE** a **PET!?!** * * * Hell is Other People. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/3 "1999-12-07T12:10:00Z")
Yes, Democritus, it sure does. Love me, love my pets, and my pets rule the house! They do whatever they want and I kiss my cats on their little kitty lips all the time! * * * I crave an art that passionately transcends the mundane instead of being a device for self-deception.–Griffin, from The Griffin and Sabine trilogy. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/4 "1999-12-07T15:24:00Z")
Right now, as I type, one cat is in the litter box, another is laying on my kitchen counter, a third in on my computer desk, and the fourth is asleep on my pillow. My African Grey is happily dropping food on the carpet. My two parakeets and cockatiel are cleaning themselves and spreading bird dust everywhere. My two rats are not really doing much of anything, but I suppose just the fact that I have rats in my house is bad enough for some of you! 🙂 I work hard to keep my house clean, but I love my babies and I wish I had room for more! ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/5 "1999-12-07T15:56:00Z")
Sheesh Democritus, I bet you don’t even share your bowl of ice cream (no chocolate) with your kitty. Mind you it takes a while to build up immunity to the toxic kitty enzymes but well worth the affection of him getting in your face and playfully biting your… OW! OW! OW! thtop biding by dose. Say Michelle, do you have an older sister? ---
**Author:** ![Atrael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Atrael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atrael)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/6 "1999-12-07T16:08:00Z")
Like that is really any different than oral sex?..I mean, (gasp)you’re putting your mouth where she pee’s…(shudder)…that’s it…no more oral sex for me…and touching you “there”?..forget it…not unless I have an anti-bacterial soap handy. The point is, that we do all sorts of things that aren’t sanitary. If you want to believe that every resturaunt that you visit has a spotless kitchen, then be my guess. Ignorance is bliss. Having said that, our cat does **not** get on the counter…the litter box is in the utility room…on the other side of the apartment…while I let him on the dining room table, it’s because we never really use it…and it get’s cleaned before we do. We have a short hair cat that doesn’t shed much…(at all actually) so I don’t have it all over my clothes. But even if all these things were not true, it’s nice to have that warm, purring body just laying in your arms with nothing but love and trust in their eyes. ---
**Author:** ![keystream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a3d4f5/32.png) [@keystream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/keystream)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/7 "1999-12-07T16:31:00Z")
Michelle, I fully support pet rats! I don’t have any at present (no pets other than fish int he dorms), but I used to, and they were great. Democritus, try a fish. A regular goldfish or get a couple really small square tanks and get some beta fighting fish. They’re the best to watch…supposed to be a huge stress reducer. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/8 "1999-12-07T16:42:00Z")
Democritus, do you have kids? I’ll put my cats up against a couple of two year olds in a cleanliness test any day. It’s all what you’re used to. I once had a real estate agent tell me that she thought it made no sense that people would rent out apartments and specify “no pets” but would allow children. She said that her experience showed that a couple young kids will tear up a house WAY more than a dog or cat. 'Course, it all depends on the people living there. Dirty people = dirty pets and kids. Clean people = clean pets and kids. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/9 "1999-12-07T17:01:00Z")
**Michelle** , eeeeeewwwwww! 😉 **Atrael** , yeah, I guess _some_ things are worth being unsanitary… **keystream** , good point about the fish. I had some fore a while, actually, I had a spotted cory for about four years. I called him darwin, 'cause he “adapted” to such harsh climate changes whenever I changed the tank water(improperly). And, that tank was very stress relieving, but I finally just got tired of maintaining it. **Athena** , actually, I have three kids and they are very clean little kiddies. Plus, I guess I don’t mind the effort of cleaning up after them though. * * * “Teaching without words and work without doing are understood by very few.” -Tao Te Ching ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/10 "1999-12-07T17:04:00Z")
Oh, I LOVE pets. My little Minx is the joy of my life. Cutest little black cat in the world. (Well, except for last night repeatedly pouncing on me at 4am - "come on, Mom, let’s **play** ). Lint rollers take the hair off clothes and furniture. Fabreeze takes out any smell - although, Minx doesn’t smell. Litter boxes shouldn’t smell if they are kept clean, and clumping litter makes that a breeze. OK, I must admit, the kitchen counter thing is kinda gross. When she tried to walk on the kitchen counters, I’d freak out on her - she doesn’t even bother anymore. I do kiss her, and let her take licks out of my ice cream dish, and finish the milk in my cereal bowl. I was never a cat person, but the apartment I moved into after my divorce was too small for a big dog (I don’t really like little dogs) and I just _have_ to have a pet, so I got Minx. For all intents and purposes, she is a dog. She comes when called, she plays fetch, she cuddles, - but, no walking, no barking, no digging - she’s the best of both worlds! ## I have had dogs all of my life. I adore dogs. You can’t say a bad thing to me about a dog (except those small, yappy, drop-kick dogs) because I will say it’s not true. There will be no logical rebuttal. No well worded essays. You may have a partially or completely valid point. However, my mature, articulate response will be “'fraid not”. There’s no snooze alarm on a hungry cat. =^…^= ---
**Author:** ![eden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f9b8f/32.png) [@eden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eden)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/11 "1999-12-07T19:08:00Z")
Hey Democritus, did you know that the “tail lifting” you complain of is actually a cat’s way of showing you respect? You’re supposed to sniff the cat’s butt. Cats don’t let just ANYONE sniff their butts, after all. Personally, I never take my cats up on the offer, but it is flattering, I guess. Me, I’ll take animals over toddlers in cleanliness, any day of the week. I mean, cats clean themselves! They have detergent in their saliva! How many kids can you say that of? ---
**Author:** ![Purple\_Toenails](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/779978/32.png) [@Purple\_Toenails](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Purple_Toenails)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/12 "1999-12-07T20:25:00Z")
Pets have no problems…only their owners! * * * Please forgive me i’m English! ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/13 "1999-12-07T20:49:00Z")
I’m a slob. I admit it. Our kitchen counters are storage space + extra garbage space. To use the stove, you have to clear stuff off it. When my mom comes to town, we clean it up and scrape the “mystery crud” off the counters and stuff… and sweep the floor… The table is the same way. There isn’t room to eat on it. We generally eat on the couch or at the computer. THat said, there isn’t much room for the cats on the counters or the table, but if they went there, they wouldn’t be adding anything that wasn’t already there. I don’t mind animal smells in the house… in fact, houses that don’t have an animal smell always strike me as cold. I wouldn’t give up having pets for a million dollars… pets are wonderful. * * * – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/14 "1999-12-07T21:38:00Z")
Umm, Eden, I don’t think I’ll be doing any cat-ass-sniffing in the near future, respectful or not! 😉 * * * “Teaching without words and work without doing are understood by very few.” -Tao Te Ching ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/15 "1999-12-07T21:59:00Z")
Democritus, how about a terrarrium with tiny turtles in it? There’s an animal friend for everybody. ---
**Author:** ![eden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f9b8f/32.png) [@eden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eden)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/16 "1999-12-07T22:40:00Z")
Yeah, Demo, me neither. Seriously though, there is one thing most people seem to find utterly repellent that I just don’t care at all about, and that’s cats walking on countertops. Does anyone actually set food directly on their counters before eating it? I always put food on a plate or cutting board…am I really a tiny minority in this? So from a hygiene standpoint, it makes no difference to me if they walk up there. But maybe more importantly, cats aren’t (in my experience) ultra-trainable. My mom’s cat isn’t allowed on the counters, but guess what the cat does when no one’s looking? (Based on cat-hair evidence.) So either you cover your countertops in piles of stuff (good idea, Opal! It’s a feature, not a bug…) or electrify them or something, but let’s face it, short of that, the cats are going to be up there. So who cares? Just don’t lick your counters or prepare sushi on them. You’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/17 "1999-12-07T22:55:00Z")
Speaking of gross pet things, Michelle- has your grey ever regurgitated his food for you? It’s what they do in the wild for their (lifetime) mates. They gotta love you a lot to do that. Our grey Ringo does it for my husband (right into his mouth if he can) and he just acts thrilled about it. Zette * * * Work a little bit harder on improving your low self esteem, you stupid freak! [Click here for some GOOD news for a change](http://www.binghamtonpress.com/binghamtonnews/local/Sanews5.html)[Zettecity](http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/18 "1999-12-07T23:30:00Z")
Zette, my Grey does that all the time. I feel really bad for him because he is seriously sexually frustrated, and you aren’t supposed to encourage the regurging thing. Sometimes he can be difficult to handle. ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/19 "1999-12-07T23:31:00Z")
**Arnold** , heck no! > [@](#): > > . What the pet store may not have told you is that 60 to 90 percent of reptiles, including snakes, iguanas, and turtles, carry salmonella (the same bacterium found in uncooked chicken) – and that cases of reptile-transmitted salmonella infection in humans are on the rise. -Parenting Magazine Egad! > [@](#): > > Does anyone actually set food directly on their counters before eating it? I always put food on a plate or cutting board…am I really a tiny minority in this? No, **Eden** , I do the same as you, but I do touch the counter and subsequently touch my food, thereby providing a vector for bacterial infection of my food. Sorry, I’ve worked in a hospital too long to ignore that possibility. * * * “Teaching without words and work without doing are understood by very few.” -Tao Te Ching ---
**Author:** ![torq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@torq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torq)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 1999, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873/20 "1999-12-07T23:41:00Z")
I’ve made an interesting observation about cats over the years. Somewhere between ten and twenty-five percent of the people I have known who owned cats say “My cats don’t smell.” Somewhere between one hundred and one hundred percent of these people have been incorrect. They can’t smell them because they’re used to it; they think it’s the way things are SUPPOSED to smell. But most people who are not used to it can definitely detect that cat-stench; if they don’t mention it it’s just because they’re trying to be polite. If I walk into a house where there are cats, and CANNOT immediately tell this despite the lack of visible evidence, it’s because the owners KNOW that it is the nature of cats to stink and are very diligent about eradicating the smell. Or because I have a severe cold and would have difficulty smelling a bottle of ammonia if you passed it directly underneath my nose. Other animals stink, also, but I don’t know as many people who own, say, dogs who have convinced themselves that their dogs aren’t little odor factories with legs. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-this-problem-with-pets/12873.md?page=2)