Deed is done 
I had to work a Change Control for work tonight so I didn’t get to escort Anubis. I have been crying for the past two hours. I feel so rotten. Is two years enough to really grow attached to an pet?
I just want to say I am so, so sorry for having to my put cat down. My God how this hurts. I hope Anubis knows we did this for his own comfort not ours.
I’m sorry Anubis. I hope Karma doesn’t reap justice in all this.
The only karma will be the good kind.
I am starting to get sniffly as I type this.
My sister and I were of course heartbroken when our mother died. But ever afterwards, whenever we had to bid goodbye to one of our cats, we envisioned Mom welcoming them to heaven and giving them a nice lap to sit on.
This is of course ridiculous, especially since I am at best an agnostic, but it provides comfort.
One day I tried to imagine one of my especially beloved cats, who we had to let go after a long illness, and the heaven he would have wanted. I realized that all the things he would have wanted in heaven, he did have during the 15 years he was here with us.
Another very weird thing happened one night about a day or 2 after that cat was put to sleep. I had just gotten into bed and turned out my light, and I had the distinct feeling that my Rocky had just entered the room. I swear I felt him jump up on the bed as he’d done in the old days when he was healthy, and lie down by my feet. I felt a comforting presence in the room.
Again, this is absolute nonsense, and was undoubtedly the product of fatigue and sorrow, but still…
I want to thank everybody again for your thoughts and words.
I realized today that the dread of actually having to let go of Anubis was actually worse than how I felt after he was gone. I’m still hurting, but I think more than anything, I’m pissed that this was the only way he could be helped, and that two years just wasn’t enough time.
As for Rainbow Bridge, I’ve read one version of it. We received a copy of it when we were given Chauncey’s remains. I’m sure we’ll get another copy when we get Anubis’.
I just can’t bring myself to read it again right now.
Again, thank you.
cf’75