# I Have to pee **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 26, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627 "2000-01-26T23:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TrayJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e68b1a/32.png) [@TrayJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TrayJay)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2000, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/1 "2000-01-26T23:36:00Z")
I have heard the term “I have to pee like a russian racehorse.” Where did this come from, and how did anybody ever scientifically calculate how bad a russian racehorse had to go? And for that matter, why russian??? Do english or arabian horses just not have to go as bad? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/2 "2000-01-26T23:39:00Z")
I don’t know about that, but I once saw an elephant pee, holy moly and jump back, it was like a fire hydrant opened. ---
**Author:** ![ignatiusjreilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/2acd7d/32.png) [@ignatiusjreilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ignatiusjreilly)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/3 "2000-01-26T23:48:00Z")
I’ve never heard the “Russian” part, but I have heard the racehorse bit and Elbows is right - it is like a damn fire hydrant when the horse opens the spigot. Stand back! ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/4 "2000-01-27T01:13:00Z")
Its always been ‘I have to pee like a horse.’ If you’ve been to a farm & have seen a male horse pee, youll understand. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/5 "2000-01-27T02:29:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Its always been ‘I have to pee like a horse.’ ## Oh you’re right. All of us who constantly hear “I have to piss like a racehorse” are just suffering from brain damage. You are obviously the Absolute Godlike Authority on “what it has always been” and we will forever look to you for guidance. – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/6 "2000-01-27T02:44:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by OpalCat: > \*\* Oh you’re right. All of us who constantly hear “I have to piss like a racehorse” are just suffering from brain damage. You are obviously the Absolute Godlike Authority on “what it has always been” and we will forever look to you for guidance. > > \*\* Phew! Whenever I worry about being too bitchy in a post Opal always comes through to throw off the scale. 😉 ## Once when I heard a friend say “I have to pee like a racehorse” I asked her what it meant and she said: “Hard and fast!” _Dolce Far Niente_ ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/7 "2000-01-27T02:54:00Z")
No problem, VV, just trying to help 🙂 * * * – Teeming Millions: [http://fathom.org/teemingmillions](http://fathom.org/teemingmillions) “Meat flaps, yellow!” - DrainBead, naked co-ed Twister chat O p a l C a t [www.opalcat.com](http://www.opalcat.com) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/8 "2000-01-27T03:05:00Z")
Keep it to yourself, TrayJay. Do you \*\*usually \*\* stand up & announce “I need to go #1 (or #2, as the case may be)”? * * * With magic, you can turn a frog into a prince. With science, you can turn a frog into a Ph.D, and you still have the frog you started with. ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/9 "2000-01-27T03:44:00Z")
HA! I have the answer for this! One popular and basically undetectable way of ‘fixing’ a horse race is to allow the ‘favorite’ (on which most people have bet) to drink a large amount of water just before the race. An unethical groom will withhold water from the horse, sometimes adding salt to the horse’s feed to increase it’s thirst, then offer the horse a large bucket of water shortly before race time. Have you ever tried to run full speed with a belly full of water sloshing around? It doesn’t really hurt the horse in anyway, it simply takes the edge off of the horse’s performance, usually enough that a close contender passes the ‘fixed’ horse up during the homestretch effort. Of course, after drinking all of that water and then expending the effort of racing, the horse usually has to pee BADLY shortly after the race is over. The “Russian racehorse” bit is a slur on Russians in regards to unethical racing practices, and I’m not sure if it is based on anyone’s actual experience or just a general ethnic slur from some anti-Russian types. It appears to be a VERY old saying. And of course, “I’ve got to pee like a Russian racehorse” is more melodic than “I’ve got to pee like a fixed racehorse” or similar phrasing. * * * Sacred cows make the best hamburgers. - Mark Twain ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/10 "2000-01-27T13:24:00Z")
How about… Pee like a rushing racehorse ---
**Author:** ![Jinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/11 "2000-01-27T13:31:00Z")
Poetic License! ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/12 "2000-01-27T16:27:00Z")
I always just say “I have to race like a pisshorse.” Don’t know where I picked that one up. * * * “Buffalo Bills? Oh, yeah. The guys that always snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.” --WallyM7 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/13 "2000-01-27T16:39:00Z")
ummOp, sorry, I meant, T’s I who has always heard it as ‘pee like a horse.’ HEre is a joke I got from the net which agrees with that: Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. The 70 year old man said, “I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee.” The 80 year old man said, “My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement.” The 90 year old man spoke up and announced, “At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I crap like a cow.” The other two men are perplexed by this and ask, “So what’s your problem?” The 90 year old man snapped back… ``` "I don't even wake up until nine!" ``` ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/14 "2000-01-27T17:42:00Z")
Don’t know where it comes from specifically, but I have heard “Pee like a Russian racehorse.” The pee part is as said above - they really let go. As far as the Russian racehorse part, I guess because it has alliteration? Though coosa’s answer sounds plausible. ---
**Author:** ![Nickrz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@Nickrz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nickrz)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/15 "2000-01-28T06:19:00Z")
I don’t want to start a pissing contest, but that story about fixing horse races with salt and a bucket of water sounds like a load of crap. ---
**Author:** ![SavageNarce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@SavageNarce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SavageNarce)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/16 "2000-01-28T06:20:00Z")
I’ll go with FunneeFarmer. I always thought it was “like a rushin’ racehorse”. Never saw it in print, so never even contemplated the involvement of the Russians. ---
**Author:** ![TheUnforgiven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TheUnforgiven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheUnforgiven)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/17 "2000-01-27T19:03:00Z")
Well, then why would a horse that is “rushin’” have to piss more badly then one that is standing still? a-HA! ---
**Author:** ![SavageNarce](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@SavageNarce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SavageNarce)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/18 "2000-01-27T19:08:00Z")
Because it’s rushin’ to the bathroom? Hey, I never said it made a lot of **sense** , just that I’d heard it before! ---
**Author:** ![funneefarmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@funneefarmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/funneefarmer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2000, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/19 "2000-01-27T23:00:00Z")
Incidently, what makes more sense ? Russian racehorse… Rushin’ racehorse… Well, maybe those Russian racehorses have smaller bladders. ---
**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2000, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627/20 "2000-01-28T22:16:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Nickrz: > **I don’t want to start a pissing contest, but that story about fixing horse races with salt and a bucket of water sounds like a load of crap.** DON’T PISS ME OFF, NICKRZ! (insert ingratiating smiley here) Honestly, you’d be surprised at how easy it is to affect a racehorse’s performance. The water bit is as old as the hills - at least as old as horse racing! Causing a horse to lose is pretty easy, and sometimes it’s hard to determine if the action was deliberate or accidental. Putting the wrong shoes on the horse, changing it’s bridle in some way (removing or adding blinkers, shadow rolls, using a different bit, etc.), something under the saddle or saddle cloth that irritates the back, over-exercising too close to race time - the list is endless. Surely you’ve heard of trainers stuffing a sponge in a horse’s nostrils? Making them win (when they normally wouldn’t) is a lot harder, but even discounting drugs there are some pretty interesting things going on there, too. A winning race horse was disqualified recently (I believe the name was Valhol?) because the jockey was observed dropping something called a ‘battery’, that is used to shock a running horse and stimulate it to a greater effort. Nose strips that hold the nostrils open and improve breathing (like the ones for humans) have recently appeared and are rather controversial. Something called a “milkshake” was recently made illegal in horse-racing circles ( [www.spokane.net/news-story.asp?](http://www.spokane.net/news-story.asp?) ). You can’t even feed a race horse M&M’s before a race! The source of the ‘Russian racehorse’ quote is, of course, more of a guess based on explanations I received for the phrase from my father and grandfather, who both used it. I also remember reading some Russian folklore-type stories about ‘watering’ race horses, but honestly can’t remember where or who wrote them, or even if they were written before or after the phrase began being used. They may have been the source of the phrase, or based on the phrase themselves. Might be a good question for Cecil, don’t you think? * * * Sacred cows make the best hamburgers. - Mark Twain [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-pee/6627.md?page=2)