# I have to piss like a racehorse. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2000, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068 "2000-03-22T06:17:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/1 "2000-03-22T06:17:00Z")
…and I am stuck on a long call. I can’t get this guy to shut up. Just thought you might want to share my pain. Plus, I heard that holding it can make it difficult to attain an erection or even become arounsed. DAMN!!! * * * “Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.” ---
**Author:** ![Ophanim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8491ac/32.png) [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/2 "2000-03-22T06:19:00Z")
Yes, I constantly find myself not becoming arounsed at all lately. Maybe it’s because I hold it too much. * * * Where’s my side of FUN!? Kisses! Ophy ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/3 "2000-03-22T07:21:00Z")
You know, this was something that you just _had_ to share with the rest of us. Couldn’t have made it through the evening without knowing that someone out there had to “piss like a racehorse”! And thanks for the detail about your arounsal. Best wishes to you on that front. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/4 "2000-03-22T07:29:00Z")
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that feels better… Thanks for your concern, yosemite. You’re such a babe. * * * “Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.” ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/5 "2000-03-22T10:38:00Z")
Well, the thread title cracked me up, but I’m easily amused. At least, that’s what people keep telling me. Personally, I am going to shit like a grizzly bear now. * * * **Coldfire** _Voted **Poster Most Likely To Post Drunk** _ * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![ProudAmerican](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@ProudAmerican](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProudAmerican)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/6 "2000-03-22T12:18:00Z")
I’d always heard: _“I gotta piss like a Russian racehorse.”_ My personal preference is: _“I gotta race like a rushing pisshorse.”_ ---
**Author:** ![EnigmaOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EnigmaOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EnigmaOne)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/7 "2000-03-22T12:27:00Z")
{{{Yes, I constantly find myself not becoming arounsed at all lately. Maybe it’s because I hold **it** too much.}}}—Ophy What are you trying to say, Ophy? 😉 * * * – **Kalél** [TheHungerSite.com](http://www.thehungersite.com) “If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.” “Well, there was that thing with the Cheese-Wiz…but I’m feeling **much** better now!” – John Astin, Night Court ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/8 "2000-03-22T16:54:00Z")
My wife uses the variant, ‘I’ve gotta pee like a racehorse.’ I’ve drawn dagger looks by responding, “You mean: standing up, in the middle of a pasture?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/9 "2000-03-22T17:39:00Z")
Why not just get a cup & pee into it or take the phone into the bathroom?? ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/10 "2000-03-22T17:40:00Z")
Originally posted by handy: Why not just get a cup & pee into it or take the phone into the bathroom?? Also, did anyone notice he is writing on the board at the same time he has to pee & listen to that guy? Hmmmm. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/11 "2000-03-22T19:02:00Z")
“I must urinate like a thoroughbread.” You could just say to the person, “Dude. I have to urinate. Hold on a minute.” That’s what I usually do. Or if he just keeps yakking away, put down the phone and just go. He might still be talking when you get back. * * * “I must leave this planet, if only for an hour.” – Antoine de St. Exupéry Are you a turtle? ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/12 "2000-03-22T19:09:00Z")
ROFLMAO!!! I’m sorry, really I am. But this is so FUNNY! I’ve been known to do the ‘peepee dance’ myself, but I don’t generally advertise it to the world when I do. Thanks, guys! I needed something to laugh about! _snifff_ I love ya, man!_sniff_ * * * You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life. L.L. ---
**Author:** ![neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ab097/32.png) [@neuro-trash\_grrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neuro-trash_grrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/13 "2000-03-23T00:27:00Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ve drawn dagger looks by responding, “You mean: standing up, in the middle of a pasture?” Try saying “You mean, on all fours in the middle of a pasture?” See if the reaction you get is any better. Uh, excuse me. I’ll be back in just a minute. Guess what I have to do? * * * Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/14 "2000-03-23T01:27:00Z")
neuro-trash grrrl: Um … you have to dump ballast like a high-speed equine? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/15 "2000-03-23T01:37:00Z")
I find Lexicon’s comment especially amusing as there is _currently_ a successful race horse, a sprinter, named “Lexicon.” He’s made several hundred grand at the track, and was so graceless as to beat my friend’s best horse in a $250,000 race last fall. I lost $10 on that bet, damm Oh, and by the way…he’s a gelding. ::::chuckle chuckle chuckle:::: * * * Teaching: The ultimate birth control method. [Laura’s Stuff and Things](http://members.aol.com/lrconaway) ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/16 "2000-03-23T02:13:00Z")
Ha, ha. Very funny. Just what are you insinuating?! 😉 * * * “Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those who never win and never quit are idiots.” ---
**Author:** ![Sealemon88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Sealemon88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sealemon88)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/17 "2000-03-23T02:55:00Z")
Just do what I do. Get a portable phone, and piss or dump while talking on the phone! * * * You say “cheesy” like that’s a **BAD** thing. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/18 "2000-03-23T17:11:00Z")
Do what I do, think sexy thoughts, get an erection. You won’t want to pee. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/19 "2000-03-24T02:20:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Personally, I am going to shit like a grizzly bear now. In the woods? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2000, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068/20 "2000-03-24T02:25:00Z")
NTG - I’ll try it! She probably won’t be any happier with it, but hey, that’s half the fun. 🙂 > [@](#): > > Oh, and by the way…he’s a gelding. > … > Teaching: The ultimate birth control method. Anybody else find this ironic? 🆒 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-piss-like-a-racehorse/16068.md?page=2)