# I have to rant about my secret boyfriend because i'm going to explode otherwise! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2010, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013 "2010-12-05T06:11:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/21 "2010-12-05T14:43:09Z")
I believe there is supposed to be a link to a site where we can also find a secret boyfriend or girlfriend? ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/22 "2010-12-05T14:45:47Z")
There is no reason, ever, that a boyfriend or girlfriend should be a secret. If you have to hide your relationship, it’s not a good idea to be in it. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/23 "2010-12-05T15:28:17Z")
Once I had a secret love That lived within the heart of me All too soon my secret love Became impatient to be free So I told a friendly messageboard The way that trollers often do Just how wonderful you are And why I am so in love with you Now I shout it out in MPSIMS Sharing with a bunch of pseudonyms At last my heart’s an open door And my secret love’s no secret anymore ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/24 "2010-12-05T15:40:29Z")
> [@Valerieblaise](#): > > There is no reason, ever, that a boyfriend or girlfriend should be a secret. If you have to hide your relationship, it’s not a good idea to be in it. What if your boyfriend is black and your family is full of bigots? Or you’re gay and worry about social reprisals? ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/25 "2010-12-05T15:50:34Z")
Hey! She’s got to hide her love away. Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/26 "2010-12-05T15:59:13Z")
Romeo and Juliet…exploding instead of stabbing? Friar Lawrence: "Alack, alack, what blood is this, which stains The stony entrance of this sepulchre? and…Jesus Christ, it’s even up all over the ceiling!" ---
**Author:** ![Valerieblaise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@Valerieblaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valerieblaise)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/27 "2010-12-05T19:25:13Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > What if your boyfriend is black and your family is full of bigots? > > Or you’re gay and worry about social reprisals? The family full of bigots thing? In my experience, it’s better to tell your family to go to hell than to hide the relationship. I can’t speak from experience as far as gay relationships go. Maybe you’ve found an exception - there are people far more qualified than me to speak to that. Somehow I doubt that’s the situation with the OP - especially since she said the reason it’s a secret is because he’s older. Of course, if you’re just quibbling because I said, “no reason, EVER” as opposed to, say, “there’s rarely a reason,” then I suppose you should go ahead and feel incredibly satisfied with yourself. What a nit you found to pick! Kudos! ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/28 "2010-12-05T21:35:28Z")
liek omg it soundz like twuuuu luvvvvv! ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/29 "2010-12-05T21:57:20Z")
> [@Valerieblaise](#): > > The family full of bigots thing? In my experience, it’s better to tell your family to go to hell than to hide the relationship. > > I can’t speak from experience as far as gay relationships go. Maybe you’ve found an exception - there are people far more qualified than me to speak to that. Somehow I doubt that’s the situation with the OP - especially since she said the reason it’s a secret is because he’s older. > > Of course, if you’re just quibbling because I said, “no reason, EVER” as opposed to, say, “there’s rarely a reason,” then I suppose you should go ahead and feel incredibly satisfied with yourself. What a nit you found to pick! Kudos! It’s not feasible to tell your family to ‘go to hell’ because they’re prejudiced against black people or gay people, when you’re under 18, living with them and they are financially supporting you. I’ve just never seen this end well. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/30 "2010-12-05T22:46:24Z")
And it works both ways. Some non-white families don’t want their kids dating outside their race. Or there might be both a race and a religion barrier. Like if the girl is white and Jewish, and the guy is black and Baptist, the parents might say “A white girl would be okay if she was Christian, but this is ridiculous – your kids won’t even know what they are!” ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/31 "2010-12-06T00:26:26Z")
> [@Valerieblaise](#): > > There is no reason, ever, that a boyfriend or girlfriend should be a secret. If you have to hide your relationship, it’s not a good idea to be in it. If she’s engaged to someone else it’s better to be a little discreet. Although you might consider that a bad relationship idea… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/32 "2010-12-06T02:36:28Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Romeo and Juliet…exploding instead of stabbing? > > Friar Lawrence: > > "Alack, alack, what blood is this, which stains > The stony entrance of this sepulchre? > > and…Jesus Christ, it’s even up all over the ceiling!" Shakespeare meets Quentin Taratino. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/33 "2010-12-06T06:33:56Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Hey! She’s got to hide her love away. > > Best wishes, > hh Oh dear Lord that was terrible! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/34 "2010-12-06T07:21:17Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Romeo and Juliet…exploding instead of stabbing? > > Friar Lawrence: > > "Alack, alack, what blood is this, which stains > The stony entrance of this sepulchre? > > and…Jesus Christ, it’s even up all over the ceiling!" [That reminds me of something disgusting.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=80957) (And don’t forget [this post in particular.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=1501957&postcount=27)) ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/35 "2010-12-06T14:02:08Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Um,… skweeee? Skweeee-boom, Skweeee-boom! (Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la…) > [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > Despite our efforts, I think the OP exploded. ☹ In lieu of flowers, donations will still be accepted c/o Swissotel, Chicago, Ill 60617. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/36 "2010-12-06T18:15:39Z")
This reminds me of some drama going on in my friend’s family. Being first generation immigrants, her family is pretty involved in the immigrant community in the small city they live in. Right now a bunch of migrant workers are being screwed over by their employer here so her dad is helping them with all the English paperwork they need to do. They’re staying at the Y during the night, but during the day they hang out at friend’s house. Cue her 19 year old sister getting a serious crush on a 25 year old dude. I saw him, he’s pretty damn hot, but he’s also married. And leading sis on by saying he only married the woman because they thought she was pregnant and he was going to divorce her. Meanwhile, on his visa application, he lists that woman as his wife and is trying to get her over here. I see bad things in the future. First thing I told my friend was to tell her sister to get on the Pill stat, but friend said it hasn’t gone beyond making out and her sister wouldn’t have sex with him. Famous last words, I say. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/37 "2010-12-06T18:23:51Z")
> [@kushiel](#): > > friend said it hasn’t gone beyond making out and her sister wouldn’t have sex with him. > > Famous last words, I say. Yeah, I hope your friend enjoys her new niece or nephew. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/38 "2010-12-06T18:55:16Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > (And don’t forget [this post in particular.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=1501957&postcount=27)) Holy shit I’m trying not to laugh out loud at work, cuz I do not want to have to explain to anyone what I’m laughing at. Fucking epic. This could only be made better if it was recited aloud on stage by Shakespearean actor Ian McKellen. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/39 "2010-12-06T21:17:57Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Shakespeare meets Quentin Taratino. 😃 What, you’ve never read **Titus Andronicus**? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/40 "2010-12-06T23:25:11Z")
> [@nikonikosuru](#): > > liek omg it soundz like twuuuu luvvvvv! And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013.md?page=3)