# I have to rant about my secret boyfriend because i'm going to explode otherwise! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 5, 2010, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013 "2010-12-05T06:11:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/41 "2010-12-06T23:48:54Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv. Man and wife. Say man and wife! ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/42 "2010-12-07T04:39:16Z")
> [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > > [@Autolycus](#): > > > > And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv. > > Man and wife. Say man and wife! Man an’ wife. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/43 "2010-12-07T16:05:17Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > What, you’ve never read **Titus Andronicus**? I’ll up you one. Watch the movie adaptation in the middle of the night in a dark room while sick with strep throat, hopped up on meds and with insomnia. I think I realized what it was like to be on LSD without being on it. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/44 "2010-12-07T16:47:02Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > > [@Suburban\_Plankton](#): > > > > > [@Autolycus](#): > > > > > > And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv. > > > > Man and wife. Say man and wife! > > Man an’ wife. THIS time, designate a guard squad to protect the princess. Keep her safe and unharmed so the prince can murder her later!! ---
**Author:** ![dzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@dzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzero)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/45 "2010-12-08T16:18:58Z")
I know that if you love something you’re supposed to set it free, but if it doesn’t come back, are you really supposed to hunt it down and kill it? ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/46 "2010-12-09T02:25:53Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Oh dear Lord that was terrible! 🙂 Glad to be of service! 😃 Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/47 "2010-12-09T02:46:40Z")
I have the horrible feeling that **eos\_wind’s** secret boyfriend has stuffed her dismembered body in a trunk, and sunk it in the ocean… ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/48 "2010-12-09T14:17:13Z")
> [@dzero](#): > > I know that if you love something you’re supposed to set it free, but if it doesn’t come back, are you really supposed to hunt it down and kill it? Only if you’re female & if you restrict your weaponry to shoes. Season is from 12 midnight 2/13 to 12 midnight 2/14\*. \*Must Be Same Year ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/49 "2010-12-09T16:19:03Z")
I have a secret boyfriend, too. He’s my friend’s 2-1/2 year-old son and I call him my secret boyfriend so as not to make my own son jealous…He is **adorable**. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/50 "2010-12-09T18:16:38Z")
Does this Secret Boyfriend exist only INSIDE your head ? ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/51 "2010-12-09T18:54:41Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > Does this Secret Boyfriend exist only INSIDE your head ? No, I told you. He’s this really cute boy who…oh. never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2010, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013/52 "2010-12-10T06:06:50Z")
So… it seems like the OP actually _did_ explode… huh, who’d have thunk it. Let this be a lesson to all of you other teenage girls - talk MORE about your secret boyfriends. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-to-rant-about-my-secret-boyfriend-because-im-going-to-explode-otherwise/563013.md?page=2)