# I have Un-Flounced; Flame Me Thus **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 7, 2017, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961 "2017-08-07T00:17:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/41 "2017-08-07T17:49:45Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > **Stringbean** does not provide one of those varied opinions, though. That was what we pointed out when he pretended to leave. He only posts to antagonize. > > Even this thread is just him trying to make a big splash. He was literally already back. He’s replied in several threads before this. And literally none of them were “intellectual responses.” Now he’s inviting people to do the very thing that he claims is why he left. > > And I don’t know what post you guys are reading, but nothing in that post read like an actual apology. An apology would be something like “I’m sorry. I’ve been a jerk. I really need to work on that.” And even longer than that, to show you really mean it. But here there’s no admission of fault. No sign of actual remorse. No sign of actual changed behavior. > > And I say this as someone who is very, very keen on forgiveness. But you don’t get it by making some giant announcement thread about how you’re coming back. You don’t apologize for your drama queen post while making another one. > > You want to get forgiveness? Show it. Don’t come in and tell us how you’ll be better. Be better. You want to engage only on an intellectual level? Do that. > > If **Stringbean** goes a few months without being a jerk, then I’ll not only treat him like his jerk behavior didn’t happen, but also defend him if other people bring it up, since I think that’s just shitty. > > But you don’t get to be a huge jerk, whine about how everyone treats you like you treat them, flounce out and then just come back and then suddenly everyone’s supposed to be nice to you. > > The only reason I’m not actually flaming him is that I’m pretty sure that’s what he wants. It would give him an excuse to attack people back. Don’t be a dick **BigT**. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Hedonia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ann_hedonia/32/319_2.png) [@Ann\_Hedonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Hedonia)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/42 "2017-08-07T18:22:32Z")
Who are you, anyway? I didn’t even know you were here when you were here. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/43 "2017-08-07T20:55:06Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > Sorry for the letter spectacle. If you want to flame me, please feel free to use this thread as your forum to do so. I won’t try to defend myself and I accept the public flogging that is due. I think a little pointing and laughing is fine. I hope you’re doing that at yourself too. Goodness knows everyone will take himself or herself too seriously at some point. We’re laughable creatures. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/44 "2017-08-07T21:21:23Z")
> [@Ann\_Hedonia](#): > > Who are you, anyway? I didn’t even know you were here when you were here. It’s really quite liberating when you realize how little time others spend thinking about you. And an important piece of the maturity puzzle. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2017, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/45 "2017-08-07T21:23:43Z")
> [@digs](#): > > It’s really quite liberating when you realize how little time others spend thinking about you. And an important piece of the maturity puzzle. I was shy as a kid. I snapped out of it when I was in college when it suddenly occurred to me, as I was in a supermarket, that if I saw someone do something dumb, I might laugh a little, but I didn’t actually care. So why would I think that if someone saw me do something dumb that they would actually care? That realization shouldn’t have taken me so long, but it did. It made my life so much better after that. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/46 "2017-08-08T02:38:21Z")
HE dumped US, and now he’s back. No groveling, no begging that we forgive him, no claims that he’s changed and things will be different this time, no nada. Just waltzing back into our lives with a casual “Didja miss me? I knew you would.” I’ve been down this road before and I learned that the best thing is to ignore him. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/47 "2017-08-08T05:30:59Z")
so, what would it take to get you to change your screen name? > [@Charlie\_Tan](#): > > I didn’t know that **Green Bean** had left. 😕 I either hate you or love you. I’m just not sure which. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/48 "2017-08-08T06:57:10Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > so, what would it take to get you to change your screen name? > I either hate you or love you. I’m just not sure which. Are you leaving or not – make up your mind. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/49 "2017-08-08T07:17:10Z")
If I don’t like you, you got a real problem, right guys? Crickets chirp. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/50 "2017-08-08T07:36:15Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > Dopers, > > I’m un-flouncing. I plan to engage the community on purely intellectual grounds and avoid personally attacking anyone or devolving into ideological mud-slinging. Basically, I need to stay out of the Pit as much as possible. > > Sorry for the letter spectacle. If you want to flame me, please feel free to use this thread as your forum to do so. I won’t try to defend myself and I accept the public flogging that is due. > > Regards, > String I swear,This isn’t me as a sock. I do however share the OP’s sentiment. My sojourn here expired many years ago and I’ve been less than helpful fighting ignorance and all. But I’ll never give you bitches a pity party and ask to be voted off the island! ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2017, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/51 "2017-08-08T23:43:47Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Didn’t you leave? Remember that episode of Seinfeld where George quits his job, then tries to pretend like he didn’t? ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/52 "2017-08-09T02:03:07Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Even this thread is just him trying to make a big splash. He was literally already back. He’s replied in several threads before this. And literally none of them were “intellectual responses.” Now he’s inviting people to do the very thing that he claims is why he left. Can you please point to my recent posts and indicate where I have gone astray? I’ve honestly tried hard to be respectful and present my viewpoint. It does sadden me that you still feel this way and I’d like to see how I can improve. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/53 "2017-08-09T02:33:50Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > Can you please point to my recent posts and indicate where I have gone astray? > > I’ve honestly tried hard to be respectful and present my viewpoint. It does sadden me that you still feel this way and I’d like to see how I can improve. Mother of God, do not encourage **Big Tard** like this. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/54 "2017-08-09T03:01:25Z")
Oh, maybe we can get those two to spend all their time sniping back and forth at each other in this thread. And we can all sneak away vewwy quietly… ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2017, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/55 "2017-08-09T14:23:10Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > Can you please point to my recent posts and indicate where I have gone astray? > > I’ve honestly tried hard to be respectful and present my viewpoint. It does sadden me that you still feel this way and I’d like to see how I can improve. Like you, I eagerly await BigT’s response to this, so that I can be similarly enlightened from his wisdom. I don’t know what guidance he will give you. He may approach it one way or he may approach it from a completely different angle. Even now, he is probably deep in contemplation over this complex matter, and we can only wait to see when he finally posts his response. But one thing I know is this. There is no bigger expert on how to post on a message board without irritating or alienating people than BigT. No one who has mastered the art of productive and mutually enjoyable interaction more than him. So there can be no possible better source for advice on this important subject. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2017, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/56 "2017-11-12T02:28:42Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2017, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961/57 "2017-11-12T18:00:26Z")
> [@](#): > > _Wasn’t supposed to be in this thread._ None of us should be. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-have-un-flounced-flame-me-thus/792961.md?page=2)