# I haven't had sex in three years **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 25, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779 "2013-11-25T21:22:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/21 "2013-11-25T21:57:05Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > B. Well I certainly can’t raise a kid alone… Sure you can, lots of people do. I know several single people who have adopted. Or are you looking for someone to bear and raise your child while you do manly things like lift heavy objects and spit? ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/22 "2013-11-25T21:57:50Z")
Its not you, its them - they’re just not listening to you… ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/23 "2013-11-25T21:59:21Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > What would be help? Telling me what I’m doing to sabotage myself in these situations. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/24 "2013-11-25T22:00:58Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > Jesse jesse jesse … > > Have you heard of [Negaholics Anonymous](http://www.everythingisterrible.com/2012/09/negaholics-anonymous.html)? Nah, I’m not negative, I’m realistic. If I was negative, I would find the negative in something good, which I don’t do. I also don’t put down others, either to myself or others. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/25 "2013-11-25T22:01:58Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > Sure you can, lots of people do. I know several single people who have adopted. Or are you looking for someone to bear and raise your child while you do manly things like lift heavy objects and spit? No, I just personally know that I cannot handle the rigors of rearing a child by myself. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/26 "2013-11-25T22:02:10Z")
Why are you asking us when you should be asking them? ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/27 "2013-11-25T22:02:16Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > Telling me what I’m doing to sabotage myself in these situations. Don’t know, haven’t observed you in your native habitat. Do you have some YouTube videos of your mating attempts? ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/28 "2013-11-25T22:03:24Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Don’t know, haven’t observed you in your native habitat. Do you have some YouTube videos of your mating attempts? No, I do not. This topic isn’t going anywhere so I’ll just leave it alone. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/29 "2013-11-25T22:04:33Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Don’t know, haven’t observed you in your native habitat. Do you have some YouTube videos of your mating attempts? DO NOT google YouTube videos of mating attempts. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/30 "2013-11-25T22:05:41Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > No, I do not. > > This topic isn’t going anywhere so I’ll just leave it alone. That’s one problem right there. You give up too easily. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/31 "2013-11-25T22:08:06Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > Telling me what I’m doing to sabotage myself in these situations. But you already said that you’ve tried that and it wasn’t useful. It sort of sounds like you asked and didn’t get an answer you liked. Do you think that might be the case? ---
**Author:** ![Grey\_area](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Grey\_area](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey_area)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/32 "2013-11-25T22:09:16Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > Lack of sex has made me lose my drive or desire to do anything in life. Maybe it’s the other way around, i.e. your lack of ambition is preventing you from having sex. Nothing’s sexier than a guy that doesn’t want to do anything other than feel sorry for himself. About not getting laid. Hot. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/33 "2013-11-25T22:12:56Z")
> [@Grey\_area](#): > > Maybe it’s the other way around, i.e. your lack of ambition is preventing you from having sex. > Nothing’s sexier than a guy that doesn’t want to do anything other than feel sorry for himself. About not getting laid. Hot. Well I wasn’t doing any better before I felt this way. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/34 "2013-11-25T22:13:04Z")
Go online. Pretend and act as if you actually have a good attitude about life. Try to go on a date every week, and treat the women you meet with respect. Eventually you will meet someone you click with and who likes you, and you will have sex. That’s it. This works with everyone who tries it and sticks to it, without fail. It might take time, but it will work. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/35 "2013-11-25T22:13:55Z")
**Jesse Pinkman** , welcome to the BSDL (BullShit Doubletalk and Lies) Message Board! With all due compassion for your involuntarily celibate condition – Did you come here seeking a suggestions toward a workable solution, or just seeking sympathy? Or both? I’m going to guess there that you’ve tried as best you can to get both, from your useless so-called friends or wherever you could. And having failed at that, you’ve found this message board and are trying for advice-and-sympathy here now. But instead, scorn and derision and contempt you get. Welcome to society. Or maybe it’s just American society. It’s not just this message board. Wherever you go (I’m guessing I’m not telling you the news here), men who want a love life (which is most men) but who can’t get it, for whatever reason, are treated with scorn, contempt, and derision. This message board (usually) reflects that, and is no exception. If you poke around the threads here, you’ll find other similar threads with similar results. Men who complain of their failure with the ladies are just automatically assumed to be jerks or “Nice Guys™” and are met with hostility, torches, and pitchforks. Exceptions to this are vanishingly rare, even among the enlightened community here. For a rare exception, a thread where an involuntarily celibate dude got a friendly and sympathetic reception, right here on the BSDL Message Board, check out [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=669915) from about a year ago. One challenge you might think about: See if you can detect what about that OP allowed him to get a more compassionate response than the usual hostile responses that are more the norm here. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/36 "2013-11-25T22:14:03Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > But you already said that you’ve tried that and it wasn’t useful. It sort of sounds like you asked and didn’t get an answer you liked. Do you think that might be the case? Because they’ll always say something like “just go up to a girl and do it! It’s not hard!” It isn’t helpful advice. It just makes me feel worse because if it’s not hard, then why do I keep screwing it up? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/37 "2013-11-25T22:17:20Z")
> [@Jesse\_Pinkman](#): > > … because if it’s not hard… Heh-heh. 😃 (Sorry you’re not getting laid at the moment.) ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/38 "2013-11-25T22:17:29Z")
Do what? Chat? Hit on? Have sex with? When you enter a conversation with a woman, what is your goal for the conversation: to leave her with a favorable impression of yourself? to be invited back to her place for naked romps? For a BJ behind the dumpster outside the bar? ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/39 "2013-11-25T22:20:47Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > **Jesse Pinkman** , welcome to the BSDL (BullShit Doubletalk and Lies) Message Board! > > With all due compassion for your involuntarily celibate condition – Did you come here seeking a suggestions toward a workable solution, or just seeking sympathy? Or both? > > I’m going to guess there that you’ve tried as best you can to get both, from your useless so-called friends or wherever you could. And having failed at that, you’ve found this message board and are trying for advice-and-sympathy here now. > > But instead, scorn and derision and contempt you get. Welcome to society. Or maybe it’s just American society. It’s not just this message board. Wherever you go (I’m guessing I’m not telling you the news here), men who want a love life (which is most men) but who can’t get it, for whatever reason, are treated with scorn, contempt, and derision. This message board (usually) reflects that, and is no exception. > > If you poke around the threads here, you’ll find other similar threads with similar results. Men who complain of their failure with the ladies are just automatically assumed to be jerks or “Nice Guys™” and are met with hostility, torches, and pitchforks. Exceptions to this are vanishingly rare, even among the enlightened community here. > > For a rare exception, a thread where an involuntarily celibate dude got a friendly and sympathetic reception, right here on the BSDL Message Board, check out [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=669915) from about a year ago. One challenge you might think about: See if you can detect what about that OP allowed him to get a more compassionate response than the usual hostile responses that are more the norm here. I’m looking for suggestions. If I wanted to try a pity party, I’d go to the Pit and deservedly be called an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Jesse\_Pinkman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a183cd/32.png) [@Jesse\_Pinkman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesse_Pinkman)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779/40 "2013-11-25T22:21:47Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Do what? Chat? Hit on? Have sex with? When you enter a conversation with a woman, what is your goal for the conversation: to leave her with a favorable impression of yourself? to be invited back to her place for naked romps? For a BJ behind the dumpster outside the bar? They don’t specify what. It’s just so natural to them that they can’t. It really makes me feel like a loser. And I don’t know, any of the three would be nice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-had-sex-in-three-years/674779.md?page=3)