# I haven't killed a thread all month

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 12, 2004, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558 "2004-04-12T03:51:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 10

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/181 "2004-05-03T13:09:04Z")

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\<Walks over to **kitten** ’s computer\>  
\<Adds [straightdope.com](http://straightdope.com) to her IE blocked site list\>  
\<Gets back to the business of killing this beast\>

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**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/182 "2004-05-03T15:47:58Z")

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> [@Lando Griffin](#):
>
> AHA! **harmless** is a goat-felching pedophile, everybody!

I said I only borrowed them!  
You got your dang kids back, didn’t ya?  
Baaah, you’re always stirring something up. 😛

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/183 "2004-05-03T22:15:00Z")

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Yeah, I had a few jokes swimming around my head about the whole “pedophiles like kids!”/“goat-felchers like kids!” thing…but I wasn’t about to go there. 🙂

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**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/184 "2004-05-03T22:18:01Z")

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> [@Hal Briston](#):
>
> Yeah, I had a few jokes swimming around my head about the whole “pedophiles like kids!”/“goat-felchers like kids!” thing…but I wasn’t about to go there. 🙂

Well next time do!  
My reputation was at stake for a whole 12 hours! 😉

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/185 "2004-05-03T22:29:07Z")

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And I’m supposed to defend the reputation of one who would dump rabid squirrels down my pants? :dubious: 😃

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**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/186 "2004-05-03T22:32:51Z")

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Yes, **AND** feel honored, while you’re at it!

You think I’d dump my favorite rabid squirrels down just anybody’s pants?

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**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/187 "2004-05-03T22:36:08Z")

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_Greeting_

_Lame joke_

_Snarky remark_

_Vaguely insulting closer_

~Tom

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**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/188 "2004-05-03T22:38:39Z")

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Hmmm…  
Hal AND harmless are online right now… I predict 15 new posts in the next half hour.

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/189 "2004-05-03T22:46:45Z")

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Ha! You’d be waaaay off!

I leave work in 15 minutes, so I’ll be putting in no more than three or four new posts.

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**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/190 "2004-05-03T22:47:36Z")

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Yeah. I have to go home soon!

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**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/191 "2004-05-03T22:48:39Z")

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Like real soon!

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/192 "2004-05-03T22:54:22Z")

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> [@harmless](#):
>
> You think I’d dump my favorite rabid squirrels down just anybody’s pants?

Well, let’s test this out (with a little cross-threading from [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=254307)):

Hal Briston’s pants + harmless’ favorite rabid squirrels: **16%**

“Dr. Love thinks a relationship might work out between Hal Briston’s pants and harmless’ favorite rabid squirrels, but the chance is very small.”

Hmmm…sorry, doesn’t look like much of a match.

_However_:

Hal Briston’s pants +rabid squirrels in general: **62%**

In other words, “I’m sorry, it’s not me. It’s you.”

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/193 "2004-05-03T22:59:28Z")

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See, **Lando**? I’m leaving work now, and I’ve only made three posts including this one.

Now, when I get home in an hour…

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**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\
**Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/194 "2004-05-04T00:15:14Z")

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I’ll be waiting!

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**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\
**Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/195 "2004-05-04T00:26:05Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> 93 %
> 
> Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between Hal Briston and genital herpes has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn’t mean that you don’t have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc.

😃

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**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\
**Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/196 "2004-05-04T00:27:56Z")

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Blast you, Hal Briston! I was going to post that link!

Instead:

\*\*Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between Rufus Xavier and Hal Briston has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn’t mean that you don’t have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc. \*\*  
89%! Woo Hoo!

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**Author:** ![Lando\_Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f17d59/32.png) [@Lando\_Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lando_Griffin)\
**Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/197 "2004-05-04T00:46:15Z")

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**Hal Briston** and winning this game:  
56 %

**Lando Griffin** and winning this game:  
55%

D’oh!

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/198 "2004-05-04T01:11:52Z")

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I’m back!

> [@Lando Griffin](#):
>
> Hal Briston and genital herpes: **93%**

> [@Rufus Xavier](#):
>
> Rufus Xavier and Hal Briston: **89%**

I’m leaving! :eek:

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**Author:** ![kittenlm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ce7236/32.png) [@kittenlm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenlm)\
**Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/199 "2004-05-04T01:15:11Z")

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> [@Hal Briston](#):
>
> \<Walks over to **kitten** ’s computer\>  
> \<Adds [straightdope.com](http://straightdope.com) to her IE blocked site list\>  
> \<Gets back to the business of killing this beast\>

You better be careful, Hal. I really can put rabid squirrels down your pants 😛

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**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\
**Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-havent-killed-a-thread-all-month/239558/200 "2004-05-04T01:16:39Z")

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In some cultures, I think that be considered to be a wifely duty. 🙂

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