You are a terrible person.
You’re just as bad as what Mr. Bookman describes:
"Sure, we’re too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers?
Doesn’t he deserve better?"
I look forward to the upcoming thread “Beckdawrek has a bad, bad, bad time with the Louisiana State Police.”
Now that my reputation is shot… When I was 12 or so my friend and I played a prank on a girl in the neighborhood. It was my friend’s idea and he did all of the stuff, but I knew about it and watched. Anyway, now the girl’s brother is the Governor of the state.
You’re absolutely right! Those drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees were terrible! They should be replaced with much more accurate and detailed drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees immediately!
By the way, just what is the difference between a pee-pee and a wee-wee?
As the official prowling Grammar Nazi of the board, who appears without warning to correct everyone with his own impeccably correct grammar, allow me to say that you done got that there all wrong, boy. It don’t matter none how’s many cousins you got, what done matters is that if one cousin owns a house, then it’s “the cousin’s house”, see? But if several cousin’s co-own’s dem house together-like, then it would be “the cousins’ house”, plural possessive. See how that works?
You may subscribe to my newsletter with other inspirational hint’s and tip’s, if you can afford it. Its not cheap, but you get what you pay for, you know?
And it’s too late, baby, now it’s too late!
I worked at a public library for years. They can take non-payment of library fines pretty seriously. I know of one situation where a warrant was issued so that cops could seize overdue books from a patron’s house.
But by far the most common form of library justice is hits on credit reports. It was pretty common for someone trying to close on a house showing up in a panic to pay a 10 year old fine.
On the other hand I’m sure the Carole King tape was written off the books decades ago.
They’re gonna sic Smackwater Jack on you.
I hear tell he bought a shotgun.
mmm
But it’s at his parents’ house. So far away…
#win
I already did “it’s too late” and a couple other songs from the album…
Post 18:
Well, I’ve moved across the country and it’s so far away I don’t go back much. But, next time I go home again I will see if I can find it and see if it’s too late to return it.
FWIW, I caught those references.
mmm
Well, if the library ninjas haven’t found you by now, they aren’t gonna.
I took the cowards way out. I stole a book from a library back around 1980 (this was before the RFID tag was a norm; just simple manual checkout cards). I did this because it was an out of print hardcover reference book that I felt I had to have. About 10 years later the book came back into print albeit with a softcover, so I bought one. Then I strolled into the library and just left the stolen copy on a table. I was this close to confessing but I felt ashamed and although I was willing to give them money for a brand new copy, I was actually worried that they’d raise a stink, or worse call the police to make a point, so I didn’t.
Do they enforce late returns of Frank Zappa collections?
There was a Facebook post by my town library a couple of weeks ago, about a book which had just been sent to them, 36 years overdue.
It’s never too late to repent!
Shhhhhh!