# I hereby announce my candidacy... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 19, 2004, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123 "2004-03-19T01:40:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/21 "2004-03-19T18:59:38Z")
> [@Casey1505](#): > > I’ll need Monday off. Can I get off any day I want? I had to ask 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/22 "2004-03-19T22:40:42Z")
**Casey1505** can have my title. I have not proven myself proper to the position, given my poor performance in the SDMB NASCAR Yahoo! Fantasy League. I am, in fact, being beat soundly. I would in light of these (and other) short comings, like to be reduced to **King of Those Who Wait Late Friday Afternoons for Their Mail To Quit Replicating so that They Can Go Home.** See the time stamp of this post. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/23 "2004-03-19T22:45:36Z")
mmmmm…corndogs. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/24 "2004-03-19T22:49:32Z")
You’re going to need a monkey butler. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/25 "2004-03-19T23:08:38Z")
Since your name is **Really Not All That Bright** I would have to consider you most excellently suited for the job of President. But I must warn you that **Esprix** is the top runner in the elections, with his particularly strong running mate of **Polycarp** for vice president. ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/26 "2004-03-19T23:21:28Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > Since your name is **Really Not All That Bright** I would have to consider you most excellently suited for the job of President. But I must warn you that **Esprix** is the top runner in the elections, with his particularly strong running mate of **Polycarp** for vice president. It’s Polycarp/Esprix. Which reminds me: When are we holding the Straight Dope Mock Political Convention? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2004, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/27 "2004-03-19T23:51:41Z")
Darn your right, I do feel like a twat now (if I get lucky anyway). ---
**Author:** ![Chimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@Chimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimpy)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/28 "2004-03-20T00:18:19Z")
I’d vote for you… but im English so no vote… oh well, you could try for prime minister while you’re at it? ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/29 "2004-03-20T00:34:51Z")
**Really Not All That Bright** , I don’t really want a job… grumble sounds like they’re all taken anyway grumble grumble but I did want to offer a little advice. While 1000’s of Dopers will understand your party affiliation, millions of Americans might be misled by United _Dopers_ of America… They might think you’re from NORML or something. Just trying to help the cause. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/30 "2004-03-20T03:30:56Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > **Really Not All That Bright** , I don’t really want a job… grumble sounds like they’re all taken anyway grumble grumble but I did want to offer a little advice. While 1000’s of Dopers will understand your party affiliation, millions of Americans might be misled by United _Dopers_ of America… They might think you’re from NORML or something. Just trying to help the cause. Yes, they might, mightn’t\* they? 🆒 Well, so what? Stoners need representation too. \*that doesn’t look right ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/31 "2004-03-20T06:58:00Z")
So… does this mean I can be the Minister of… Keeping It Real? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/32 "2004-03-20T07:09:18Z")
As long as I am getting paid, I don’t care what my title is. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/33 "2004-03-20T07:25:30Z")
I’ll vote for you 'cause you’re so nice. You got a job for a quiet little Tikki from the _other_ Washington? ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/34 "2004-03-20T08:27:23Z")
I’ll vote for you…but only if you commit to a “tampering in God’s domain” policy. I mean, if for nothing else, do it for the _children!_ If not for Mad Science, we’d be living in a world with no Neutron Bombs; _no_ realistic flesh-like sillicone; _no_ VTOL prototypes that don’t really work! I ask you, is _that_ the kind of world you’d want to live in? A world you’d leave to your _children’s_ children? I think I speak for everyone when I say that I’d rather stand DEAD first! Or, failing that, I’d like to be named Secretary for Punctuation Abuse. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/35 "2004-03-20T14:12:48Z")
Can I be your Secretary of Non-Cultural Trivia? I know all sorts of useless scientific and mathematical and literal\* facts! \*In the sense of pertaining to literature, but I can’t think of a better word. Oh, duh, ‘literary’. Well, at least I got a chance to use a footnote. ---
**Author:** ![ContumeliousBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/57b2e6/32.png) [@ContumeliousBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ContumeliousBob)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/36 "2004-03-20T14:50:52Z")
I’ll be running for President in 2016. One of my idears will be: War for beer. All beer will become domestic. 😃 Wink, wink, nudge, nudge Another will be a complete overhaul of the education system, modeled after Bismarck’s Bildung. “free” emergency healthcare. i.e. Get run over by a mack truck and your family wont have to pawn the estate. However, if it isnt life threatening, then it isnt covered. Say your nose is huge or your boobies are too “small”, these things arent going to kill you. I would de-nanny-ize the govt, the govt is here to provide infrastructure and defense, not to tell you that smoking, drinking, eating too many twinkies might make one fat, watching too much tv will rot your brain, and drugs are bad. The week of my brithday will become a federal holiday, and all beer will be free. I welcome monetary donations, cause I figure I’d need at least 1/2 billion bucks to compete by 2016. ---
**Author:** ![tangochick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@tangochick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tangochick)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2004, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/37 "2004-03-20T15:58:14Z")
I humbly offer my services as dance instructor for the White House. No, please, I shall not require pay for all I care about is expanding horizons and bringing beauty to this sometimes dark world we live in today. I require nothing except willing students and open minds. And a yearly all-expenses-paid vacation-I mean\*\* business trip \*\* to Buenos Aries for shopping- no wait, I mean \*\*economic studies \*\* and plenty of dancing- er **cultural interaction**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2004, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/38 "2004-03-21T21:26:53Z")
> [@Really Not All That Bright](#): > > **AngelicGemma** will be offered a White House internship post haste. (nudge nudge, wink wink). 😃😉 Yay for vanity searches! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2004, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/39 "2004-03-21T21:30:36Z")
I hope it pays well. I have huge students loans to re pay. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123/40 "2004-03-22T05:29:50Z")
Oh yoo hoo…are there any good cabinent positions left? I’d be happy to vote for someone who can at least admit their faults! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-announce-my-candidacy/235123.md?page=3)