# I hereby ban the totally retarded adage - "fat guy was drinking diet coke LOL"
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 22, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457 "2008-01-22T03:35:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/21 "2008-01-22T04:57:56Z")
A friend once complimented me on my ability to drive a stick shift while talking on a cell phone, smoking a cigarette and enjoying a diet coke. Before calling me irresponsible I should point out that I have retired from driving so it’s a non-issue.
---
### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/22 "2008-01-22T05:00:15Z")
Regular cola just shouldn’t be consumed with a meal. Regardless of the brand, they’re all too sweet not to overwhelm the taste of the food. So why not get water? Well, speaking only for myself, water just doesn’t have a good mouth feel. If I’m eating, I don’t want my beverage to be thin and tasteless compared to the food. So diet cola it is.
---
### Author:  [@TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/23 "2008-01-22T05:01:47Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star]
Well yeah, but I think what people are getting at is that they’re adding tons of extra calories to their diets by other means, so why should soda be the one avenue where they go with the healthy choice.
[/QUOTE]
Because it’s the _easiest_ and most seamless substitution to make. “Diet Pizza” would be so unlike pizza that there’d be no reason for it - something like kale and tomatoes on flatbread with no cheese or sauce - so they can eat the pizza and get 8/10 the experience of drinking a normal coke without adding 200+ unnecessary calories. **It makes perfect sense and isn’t the basis for a joke**.
---
### Author:  [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/24 "2008-01-22T05:02:02Z")
[QUOTE=TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW]
Don’t get me wrong, I think that fat acceptance is one of the most dangerous and disturbing trends in politically correct America,
[/quote]
I couldn’t disagree more.
> [@](#):
>
> but this statement, which you hear **all the time** , is completely pointless and meaningless!
What kind of idiots do _you_ hang out with?
---
### Author:  [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/25 "2008-01-22T05:03:33Z")
[QUOTE=Snarky\_Kong]
I dunno, if you drive your car off a cliff is the seat belt really going to help?
[/QUOTE]
Depends on the cliff…whats at the bottom, how far down is it…
and the car…does it have airbags? Is it one of those movie cars that blows up in a huge ball of fire from falling 20 feet down into water and soft mud? Cuz the seatbelt wouldnt help then
We don’t have enough information.
---
### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/26 "2008-01-22T05:09:20Z")
[QUOTE=TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW]
Because it’s the _easiest_ and most seamless substitution to make. “Diet Pizza” would be so unlike pizza that there’d be no reason for it - something like kale and tomatoes on flatbread with no cheese or sauce - so they can eat the pizza and get 8/10 the experience of drinking a normal coke without adding 200+ unnecessary calories. **It makes perfect sense and isn’t the basis for a joke**.
[/QUOTE]
If you think diet soda tastes 80% as good as regular, well then, there’s really not much I can say…
I’m a (thin) Coke junkie, but I’d much sooner drink plain water than touch Diet Coke.
---
### Author:  [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/27 "2008-01-22T05:18:07Z")
[QUOTE=fatgail]
I am a fatty of ridiculous porportions and I love, nay, am HOOKED ON diet coke, probably to a dangerous degree. I think regular coke tastes like syrup and it leaves a film in my mouth. Diet Coke is the sweat from an Angel’s brow, bottled and sent to us on the wings of a unicorn.
[/QUOTE]
I’m a fat chick, and should I fall from grace and find myself at McDonald’s, I will have a diet Coke with my cheeseburger.
I don’t like the taste of regular pop.
---
### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/28 "2008-01-22T05:28:39Z")
[QUOTE=Savannah]
I’m a fat chick, and should I fall from grace and find myself at McDonald’s, I will have a diet Coke with my cheeseburger.
I don’t like the taste of regular pop.
[/QUOTE]
Another big mama checkin’ in. I like my ‘bigness’ _right where it is_. I drink diet coke because I don’t want to get any _bigger_.
I never understood the joke either.
---
### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/29 "2008-01-22T05:29:11Z")
What’s with all the ‘fat’ threads lately?
---
### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/30 "2008-01-22T05:36:55Z")
[QUOTE=Nzinga, Seated]
Another big mama checkin’ in. I like my ‘bigness’ _right where it is_. I drink diet coke because I don’t want to get any _bigger_.
I never understood the joke either.
[/QUOTE]
It’s a dumb joke, but I can’t imagine someone just not getting it at all. Geez.
If you have three value meals, then eat an apple for desert, is that healthy? If you have a $300 a day heroin habit, but abstain from cigarettes, is yours a healthy lifestyle? If you drive triple the speed limit everywhere else, but don’t break the law in school zones, are you a safe driver?
Alternatively:
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#):
>
> I dunno, if you drive your car off a cliff is the seat belt really going to help?
---
### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/31 "2008-01-22T05:45:33Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star]
It’s a dumb joke, but I can’t imagine someone just not getting it at all. Geez.
If you have three value meals, then eat an apple for desert, is that healthy? If you have a $300 a day heroin habit, but abstain from cigarettes, is yours a healthy lifestyle? If you drive triple the speed limit everywhere else, but don’t break the law in school zones, are you a safe driver?
[/QUOTE]
Yeah. Geez. 'Cause I have no idea what your point is. No one is saying that value meals are a healthy lifestyle. We are saying that the joke _doesn’t make sense_. We are not _offended_ by the joke. We are saying it _doesn’t make sense._
I am not a safe drive for tripling my speed limit except when in school zones…but I can’t imagine someone making a joke “look how stupid that speeder is for slowing down in the school zone!”. 'Cause that joke _wouldn’t make sense_.
---
### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/32 "2008-01-22T05:49:04Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star]
It’s a dumb joke, but I can’t imagine someone just not getting it at all. Geez.
If you have three value meals, then eat an apple for desert, is that healthy?
[/quote]
That’s an addition, not a substitute. Adding an apple to the menu would not alter the effect of the value meal, but substituting apple slices for fries would.
> [@](#):
>
> If you have a $300 a day heroin habit, but abstain from cigarettes, is yours a healthy lifestyle?
No, it’s not healthy, but if you do manage to detox from heroin, you won’t have to worry that cancer will catch up with you afterwards.
> [@](#):
>
> If you drive triple the speed limit everywhere else, but don’t break the law in school zones, are you a safe driver?
No, but you’re just a little bit less unsafe than otherwise. Like with the diet coke.
---
### Author:  [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/33 "2008-01-22T05:53:17Z")
[QUOTE=bdgr]
Depends on the cliff…whats at the bottom, how far down is it…
and the car…does it have airbags? Is it one of those movie cars that blows up in a huge ball of fire from falling 20 feet down into water and soft mud? Cuz the seatbelt wouldnt help then
We don’t have enough information.
[/QUOTE]
And what happens if the car lands on a unicorn? With a knife?
There’s no way you’re going to survive a unicorn with a ginsu, even if you wrestle it in mud and Diet Coke.
---
### Author:  [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/34 "2008-01-22T06:03:17Z")
I think the basis/rationale of the joke is this (and I think it at least makes sense, even if it’s hurtful and not funny): if the subjects of the joke _really_ cared about what they eat, they would substitute the hamburger, fries, AND soda for healthier alternatives - say, a plain chicken breast, salad, and diet Coke. But they just substitute the soda. Therefore, they are using the soda substitute as an excuse to go with the fatty foods, fooling themselves into thinking they’re sparing themselves a lot of calories.
Sorry, but I think it at least makes sense (to me, anyway) - a completely different issue than whether it’s true/hurtful/whatever.
---
### Author:  [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/35 "2008-01-22T06:07:49Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star]
If you think diet soda tastes 80% as good as regular, well then, there’s really not much I can say…
I’m a (thin) Coke junkie, but I’d much sooner drink plain water than touch Diet Coke.
[/QUOTE]
I think it tastes better. There is a certain adjustment period when you go from drinking regular coke to drinking diest coke…and the same adjustment period going back. I ocassionally get stuck with a syrupy soft drink and I cant stand to drink it.
---
### Author:  [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/36 "2008-01-22T06:08:25Z")
Actually, a friend of mine who treats patients at a methadone clinic has told me that the best first step to getting them permanently off drugs is to get them to quit smoking – it’s the hardest of the addictions to end. So doing heroin and not smoking is a good first step, perhaps comparable to still eating at McDonalds whilst drinking diet soda.
And I can’t imagine anyone with a McD’s and diet coke habit is claiming their lifestyle is healthy. The joke is predicated on them being too stupid to realize that the diet coke doesn’t make a difference if they load up on fries, but in reality, assuming they’d have had a beverage regardless of whether they had salad or fries, the diet coke is the better choice than the coke every time.
Here’s a little quiz for those who think the diet coke doesn’t make a difference. Sort the following McDs items in order of calories from most to least:
small fries
large coke
grilled chicken caesar salad
bacon cheeseburger
---
### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/37 "2008-01-22T06:13:37Z")
[QUOTE=Leaper]
I think the basis/rationale of the joke is this (and I think it at least makes sense, even if it’s hurtful and not funny): if the subjects of the joke _really_ cared about what they eat, they would substitute the hamburger, fries, AND soda for healthier alternatives - say, a plain chicken breast, salad, and diet Coke. But they just substitute the soda. Therefore, they are using the soda substitute as an excuse to go with the fatty foods, fooling themselves into thinking they’re sparing themselves a lot of calories.
Sorry, but I think it at least makes sense (to me, anyway) - a completely different issue than whether it’s true/hurtful/whatever.
[/QUOTE]
Ohhh! I get it. I get that. I see where they are going with it. For the record, I don’t think the OP was saying it was a hurtful joke. I think he just honestly didn’t get the angle. Just like I didn’t.
---
### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/38 "2008-01-22T06:16:10Z")
[QUOTE=Nzinga, Seated]
Yeah. Geez. 'Cause I have no idea what your point is.
[/QUOTE]
:rolleyes:
> [@](#):
>
> I never understood the joke either.
If you don’t mean something, then don’t say it.
It makes as much sense as any other bad joke. It’s been explained several times in this thread. I’m afraid that anyone who keeps saying that it makes _no_ sense or makes up rationalizations as to why it _shouldn’t_ make sense is being deliberately obtuse.
On preview:
> [@Nzinga](#):
>
> Ohhh! I get it. I get that. I see where they are going with it.
Holy shit! _Seriously?_ It took you that long? Okay, amend “deliberately obtuse” in that last paragraph to “jaw-droppingly stupid.”
---
### Author:  [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/39 "2008-01-22T06:16:38Z")
[QUOTE=Jamaika a jamaikaiaké]
I couldn’t disagree more.
What kind of idiots do _you_ hang out with?
[/QUOTE]
[Birds of a feather](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?do=process&showposts=0&starteronly=1&exactname=1&searchuser=TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW), presumably.
Enjoy,
Steven
---
### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/40 "2008-01-22T06:24:03Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star
Holy shit! _Seriously?_ It took you that long? Okay, amend “deliberately obtuse” in that last paragraph to “jaw-droppingly stupid.”[/QUOTE]
Haaa! I’m stupid because someone else was able to explain a joke I didn’t get better than your moronic metaphors that didn’t fit could? Allow me to pick up my own jaw as I watch **Rilchiam** make mince meat of your ridiculous post sputtering on about drugs, speeding and cigarettes.
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457.md?page=1)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457.md?page=3)