# I hereby ban the totally retarded adage - "fat guy was drinking diet coke LOL"
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [January 22, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457 "2008-01-22T03:35:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/41 "2008-01-22T06:30:27Z")
[QUOTE=Nzinga, Seated]
Haaa! I’m stupid because someone else was able to explain a joke I didn’t get better than your moronic metaphors that didn’t fit could? Allow me to pick up my own jaw as I watch **Rilchiam** make mince meat of your ridiculous post sputtering on about drugs, speeding and cigarettes.
[/QUOTE]
Uh, look at my very first post in this thread:
> [@](#):
>
> Well yeah, but I think what people are getting at is that they’re adding tons of extra calories to their diets by other means, so why should soda be the one avenue where they go with the healthy choice
If you couldn’t understand it from that, well, that’s pretty fucking sad.
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### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/42 "2008-01-22T06:36:58Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star]
Uh, look at my very first post in this thread:
If you couldn’t understand it from that, well, that’s pretty fucking sad.
[/QUOTE]
Uh-oh. I think you just demonstrated that \*you \* don’t get the joke. What you said and what **Leaper** said is not the same thing. _You don’t get it!!_ **eyes widen in surprise**
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### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/43 "2008-01-22T06:39:05Z")
I think you just demonstrated that you didn’t even read the fucking thread before posting. Good job on that! I guess now I understand where all those idiots come from that make the same points over and over because they didn’t see other people making them earlier in the thread. What a great service people like you provide!
Now why don’t you reach deep into the hollow recesses of your head and try to explain how his explanation is significantly different from mine.
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### Author:  [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/44 "2008-01-22T07:54:42Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star]
Now why don’t you reach deep into the hollow recesses of your head and try to explain how his explanation is significantly different from mine.
[/QUOTE]
He didn’t use bizarre metophors that didn’t apply? He explained coherently that the joke-tellers are under the impression that the fat people are actually _deluding themselves_, as opposed to just wasting their time by exchanging diet for regular? He makes perfect sense? In leiu of rolley-eyes he expressed his point eloquently? He…awww, neva mind. I just remembered you didn’t even get the joke to begin with. No soap, radio.
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### Author:  [@Zulema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zulema)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/45 "2008-01-22T07:55:21Z")
I, for one, can’t even eat a whole fast food meal if I have a regular coke; it fills me up too much. Maybe we’re all fat because we don’t drink regular soda.
But that’s beside the point. If there was no diet soda I would still have that occasional fat and salt orgy that is a value meal just because it’s so good. I’m never thinking it’s a healthy choice no matter what I drink with it.
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### Author:  [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/46 "2008-01-22T08:12:12Z")
[QUOTE=Nzinga, Seated]
He didn’t use bizarre metophors that didn’t apply?
[/quote]
They’re called _analogies_, hon. That’s okay. You go ahead and look that one up in the dictionary if you have to. We’ll wait.
> [@](#):
>
> He explained coherently that the joke-tellers are under the impression that the fat people are actually _deluding themselves_, as opposed to just wasting their time by exchanging diet for regular? He makes perfect sense? In leiu of rolley-eyes he expressed his point eloquently? He…awww, neva mind. I just remembered you didn’t even get the joke to begin with. No soap, radio.
I didn’t think that there was anyone on this board who was quite dumb enough to need it explained in such excruciating detail, so I summed it up quickly. Obviously, that was a mistake.
Honestly, if you need it explained _at all_, you can’t be all that bright to begin with. That joke is on the “Why did the chicken cross the road?” level of comprehensibility.
When I went for the analogies, I was looking for similar situations to drive the point home to people I thought were just nitpicking. Had I actually thought for a second that there was anyone here so dense that they really, honestly, didn’t get it at all, I’d have written something along the lines of what **Leaper** posted.
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### Author:  [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/47 "2008-01-22T08:16:48Z")
This thread has made me crave McDonalds. I was going to make pesto for dinner but now nothing is going to hit the spot like a McChicken with salty, soggy fries.
ETA: The Coke I can take or leave.
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### Author:  [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/48 "2008-01-22T09:01:19Z")
[QUOTE=jacquilynne]
Actually, a friend of mine who treats patients at a methadone clinic has told me that the best first step to getting them permanently off drugs is to get them to quit smoking – it’s the hardest of the addictions to end. So doing heroin and not smoking is a good first step, perhaps comparable to still eating at McDonalds whilst drinking diet soda.
[/QUOTE]
Really? Not to hijack the OP but I’ve never met a former drug user who doesn’t smoke like a trooper, EVERY ex-junkie I know (maybe 45+) smoke roll ups and drinks coffeee nearly non-stop, it’s like a legal, ‘safe’ alternative to heroin and crack.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/49 "2008-01-22T09:09:02Z")
It’s not a new joke. My grandparents had an American book from the early 1950s that featured a cartoon of a fat woman ordering a vast ice cream sundae, that was so tall that the ice cream vendor was standing on a ladder to complete it, and the woman was saying “No cherry on top - I’m on a diet!”
Different mores, same joke. I thought it was funny, anway.
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### Author:  [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/50 "2008-01-22T09:19:02Z")
'Nother fat chick checking in here.
Would the crack have been made had the guy been drinking water, unsweet tea or coffee with no sugar? No difference in the calories.
FTR…I have been drinking diet sodas for the past 35+ years…sugared ones are too syrupy…that and I would rather eat my calories than drink them.
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### Author:  [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/51 "2008-01-22T11:09:48Z")
What I find annoying about this “joke” is the idea that people only drink Diet Coke because it’s Diet, and if they had what they REALLY wanted, they’d be drinking regular Coke.
I cannot stand regular Coke. I drink Diet Coke. If I lived in a world without Diet Coke, I would drink sparkling water. (Which I also drink anyway.)
I’m a girl who enjoys a nice helping of junk food, washed down with Diet Coke. I’m not fat so the joke has never been applied to me, but I take offense to the idea that I really want a Coke and I’m “settling” for Diet.
_runs to fridge to gaze with fond joy at 2 twelve-packs of DC_
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### Author:  [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 11:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/52 "2008-01-22T11:21:07Z")
The sudden influx of simple sugar that regular soda brings makes me feel bad. I prefer to indulge on greasy high-carb food.
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### Author:  [@Mr\_Shine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Shine)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/53 "2008-01-22T11:37:29Z")
I’m the guy that the slack-jawed comedian talks about with this “joke”. I’ll often be seen ordering way too much of high fat food. I’ll buy a Diet Coke with it because it tastes much better, and I like my teeth.
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### Author:  [@SomeUserName](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeUserName)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/54 "2008-01-22T11:41:57Z")
[QUOTE=Audrey Levins]
What I find annoying about this “joke” is the idea that people only drink Diet Coke because it’s Diet, and if they had what they REALLY wanted, they’d be drinking regular Coke.
[/quote]
Exactly. It is the “diet” that makes people think it is a substitution or they are trying to cut calories in some way.
I also do not like regular soda. I drink water most of the time but if I get a value meal I order a diet coke. I like the way it tastes. Regular soda of any flavor is way to sweet to me, with ginger ale being an exception but I don’t really care for that either, the calories have nothing to do with it.
If I am getting a McFatty burger with a side of McSalty fries I could care less how many calories my soda is going to add on nor do I think I am cutting some corner by slapping a diet coke with it. I just like the taste.
Same goes if I order a salad. I get two packets of yummy blue cheese dressing to glob on it and order a diet coke to wash it down but the appearence looks like I am trying to at least control my weight but nothing could be further from the truth.
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### Author:  [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/55 "2008-01-22T12:43:10Z")
I drink regular Coke like nobody’s business.
Diet pop tastes like some kind of mistake has been made.
I get the joke. It’s marginally funny, and has some truth to it, however slight.
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### Author:  [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/56 "2008-01-22T14:17:56Z")
I think both Nzinga and Neutron need to forget the sodas and try a beer.
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### Author:  [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/57 "2008-01-22T14:25:59Z")
[QUOTE=Audrey Levins]
What I find annoying about this “joke” is the idea that people only drink Diet Coke because it’s Diet, and if they had what they REALLY wanted, they’d be drinking regular Coke.
[/QUOTE]
Damn. I wanted to make this point.
Except that if they had what they REALLY wanted, they’d be drinking Diet Pepsi.
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### Author:  [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/58 "2008-01-22T15:00:49Z")
[QUOTE=TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW]
Don’t get me wrong, I think that fat acceptance is one of the most dangerous and disturbing trends in politically correct America,
[QUOTE=Jamaika a jamaikaiaké]
I couldn’t disagree more.
[/QUOTE]
[/QUOTE]
As do I, but only because there are so many other dangerous and disturbing trends in politically correct America to choose from.
Assuming that by “fat acceptance” we’re not talking about “Let’s not beat up the fat kid every day after school just because he’s fat,” which is an idea I can get behind. I presume the OP to be referring to that uniquely American\* definition of “fat acceptance” which encompasses sentiments like
“Land whales are a _protected class_!”
“7+ chins is SEXXY!!!”
“Waaa! Let’s sue the networks because someone on TV made a _fat joke_!”
“We can’t _hellllp_ it! It’s all _genetic_!”
“How _dare_ that school counselor imply that my 300-pound fifth grader has a _weight problem_! They’re creating an environment of _intolerance_!”
“We’re just like people who are _blind_ or have _cancer_! You wouldn’t blame _them_, would you?”
“I was _publicly humiliated_ when that restaurant owner said I couldn’t go back for a twelfth plate from the buffet! All you can eat means ALL YOU CAN EAT!”
“I was _discriminated_ against because the airline didn’t have a _cattle sling_ to hoist me aboard the plane! Let’s hold a protest mar… er, a _sit-in_!”
\*For the time being, although an NPR story I heard recently indicated that the “Fat Acceptance” movement is jiggling and slouching its way over to France, where it’s found limited success so far.
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### Author:  [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/59 "2008-01-22T15:57:09Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats]
Presuming you advocate Dick-Lite. One third less filling, when you just have to have some dick.
[/QUOTE]
Dick-Lite. The one dick to have, when you’re having more than one.
I honestly can’t remember whether I drank regular sodas or diet sodas before getting diagnosed with diabetes in 2000. Nowadays, if they could make Diet Coke taste _exactly_ like regular Coke, I wouldn’t want it. I’ve come to enjoy and look forward to that edge of bitterness.
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### Author:  [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)
#### Post date: [January 22, 2008, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hereby-ban-the-totally-retarded-adage-fat-guy-was-drinking-diet-coke-lol/434457/60 "2008-01-22T16:04:18Z")
[QUOTE=WILLASS]
Really? Not to hijack the OP but I’ve never met a former drug user who doesn’t smoke like a trooper, EVERY ex-junkie I know (maybe 45+) smoke roll ups and drinks coffeee nearly non-stop, it’s like a legal, ‘safe’ alternative to heroin and crack.
[/QUOTE]
Her evidence at this point is largely anecdotal, but it’s also her primary research area, so she should have some more rigourous information about the situation at some point in the future.
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