# I hit myself in the face with a hammer (handle) today **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 1, 2003, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer-handle-today/146015 "2003-01-01T06:33:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer-handle-today/146015/21 "2003-01-02T03:33:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Forbin \* > \*\*Well I dunno why, but this just reminds me of the old saying, “She’s as ugly as a blind cobblers thumb.” > 😃 > > _Just kidding_ \*\* Or as Jack Benny said about being downcast, "Bluer than the thumb of a crosseyed carpenter. I was walking along one day, years ago when I was not as well coordinated as now, tossing my bundle of keys up in the air and catching them. Sure enough, I completely missed one catch with my hands and used my lips instead. Boy did that smart! ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer-handle-today/146015/22 "2003-01-03T01:32:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Obsidian Flutterby \* > \*\*The next day at work I had one of the guys I worked with come up to me and ask if some guy had beat me, and if they had he offered to beat on them for me in return. I was flattered that he cared so much but sadly no, I had done it to myself. \*\* You may consider this a “me too” post. I used to heat with wood, having gotten the romantic and entirely without environmentally practical considerations straight. Anyway, one day I was stacking wood and I put a rather large piece on top of the “rack” somewhat precariously. (Not that I REALIZED I had done that, but anyway…) I started to put another chunk of wood on the stack, and as I did that the pesky “precarious” piece fell and hit me on the eye. I bruise easily ANYWAY, so suffice to say…I got a black eye. And it was a doozy. Well, I was doing Jazzercise[sup]TM[/sup] at the time and it turned out there was a woman there who had been a battered wife. (As an aside, I had volunteered for the WomanCare Shelter in our town for some time at that point.) Anyway, she came up to me and inquired as to why I had a black eye. I explained. She said “Cheri, I just want you to know that there are PLACES you can go, is all.” Huh? I got hit with a piece of wood, TRULY I did. “Yes, I know that is a good explanation, but…really, there ARE PLACES YOU CAN GO, PEOPLE WHO WILL **HELP** YOU!!” But really, I GOT HIT WITH A PIECE OF WOOD WHILE I WAS STACKING IT!!!" I know, Cheri, but…just keep it in mind. I can direct you to the best place for help if you ever admit you NEED help." I told her I had volunteered for the local women’s shelter for YEARS, and I didn’t have even a BOYFRIEND at the time…! She patted me on the shoulder and said, “Yes, I KNOW.” :sigh: ANYWAY, I hope you feel better SOON, **Ruffian**. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer-handle-today/146015/23 "2003-01-03T01:43:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ruffian \* > Even, the horrors, _kissing_ hurts. I will _not_ bring up Ruffian’s famous old thread. 🙂 Does that mean no more kissing your horse? ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer-handle-today/146015/24 "2003-01-03T02:00:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried \* > \*\*I will _not_ bring up Ruffian’s famous old thread. 🙂 \*\* Good choice, dear. _You SLY DOG, you!!!_😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer-handle-today/146015/25 "2003-01-03T02:47:16Z")
LOL **Arnold!** Just consider that’s a given, unfortunately! (But I am healing very quickly!) **Scotticher** , that’s something I was concerned about–whether people would think I’d been hit. Fortunately I’m off work this week, the swelling has gone down considerably, and lipstick covers most of the bruising. Still, I wondered out loud about it with DeathLlama, saying “I wonder if anyone will think you hit me?!” DL’s simple answer, “No one who _knows_ will.” Good point. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer-handle-today/146015/26 "2003-01-03T03:00:32Z")
VERY good point. Wise man. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer-handle-today/146015.md?page=1)