# I hope my neighbors get eaten by wolverines **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 10, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523 "2013-03-10T03:08:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/1 "2013-03-10T03:08:38Z")
I hate my neighbors so much! They are jackasses of the highest order and if I had access to a wolverine I would release it in the hallway to devour them all. The upstairs neighbor is the best of the bunch. They play loud techno music from Friday at 6 pm to Sunday at about 8 pm. Luckily you can’t hear it in the bedrooms so it doesn’t impact sleeping but it provides a most unwelcome soundtrack to day to day life when you have to leave the bedroom on the weekend. The neighbors to our left have at least 15 people living in the apartment, 4 or 5 of them children. Reporting them to the landlord hasn’t done anything and the kids run around in the hallway screaming until about 11 every single night. They throw insane parties a couple of times a month that end up having 20 or so people wandering the hallway with beers and iPhones, yelling at each other all night long. The worst are the people downstairs though. They sit in the stairwell and smoke pot 5 times every day. In the morning between 8:00 and 8:22, again from 11:30 to 11:50, from 2:00 to 2:25, from 9:00 at night to 9:30, and again around 11pm. I’ve spoken to them multiple times and asked them to please find another place to smoke and they refuse. I’ve called the police about 30 times since we moved in but they never respond and after about 30 calls I just stopped reporting it. We bought some Yankee candles and hide out in the bedroom if we are home at the time. It wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t insist on smoking the cheapest, nastiest shit they can find. I swear it smells like they are lighting skunks on fire in the hallway. I hate them. I hate them all and I hope horrible things happen to all of them and all of their mothers for raising such shitty, shitty people. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/2 "2013-03-10T03:13:15Z")
Very sorry pbbth for you. It is a bummer to have to live like that. Have you thought of inviting them over for dinner? It may be the best choice. Or, you could move? ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/3 "2013-03-10T03:25:46Z")
Sucks, I feel for you, sorry. Until recently I lived next door to like four guys sharing a one-bedroom unit and those motherfuckers would throw parties and scream at each other about three or four times a week. Drove me fucking crazy. I wish their parents had aborted them. I shell out over $2000 a month now for an apartment elsewhere that abuts no other units and IT IS WORTH EVERY PENNY. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/4 "2013-03-10T03:25:50Z")
My house is for sale. Its a house, not an apartment, the mortgage is 640 a month. Want to move to BFE? Seriously, that is why I bought a place out in the middle of nowhere, just so I didn’t have to deal with neighbors that close. It was worth the drive just to get some quiet. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/5 "2013-03-10T03:30:48Z")
> [@harmonicamoon](#): > > Very sorry pbbth for you. It is a bummer to have to live like that. Have you thought of inviting them over for dinner? It may be the best choice. Or, you could move? We have started the process of moving, actually. It will take a few months because it is an interstate move and there need to be jobs lined up and all, but we are leaving as soon as one of us hears, “You’re hired!” Mostly I’m just bitching because I’m tired of it. I’m tired of hiding in the bedroom with the baby or all of us (dog included) living at my mother in law’s place for a couple of days a week to avoid it all. I’m pissed that the apartment hunting process in NYC is seeing a place for 3 minutes and then being told if you don’t write a check RIGHT NOW someone else will get the place and you have to go yet another day with nowhere to live and knowing it is the honest-to-god truth. I’m tired of feeling like everyone else thinks problems that don’t involve violence are okay to ignore and I’m tired of knowing that there is nothing I can do to change things here. We **are** moving. It **will** be better. But tonight I’m bitching and moaning on the internet because there is nothing I can do right in this moment to fix it. Stupid dicks. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/6 "2013-03-10T03:34:29Z")
I feel better about my shitty neighbors and their shitty yappy dog who won’t shut the fuck up, ever, when left alone. Good luck with the job and apartment hunt. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/7 "2013-03-10T03:43:08Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > I hate my neighbors so much! They are jackasses of the highest order and if I had access to a wolverine I would release it in the hallway to devour them all. That’s not a very realistic plan, is it? Seriously, you’re going to need at least six wolverines for a crowd this size. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/8 "2013-03-10T03:54:15Z")
And move to wolverine country. But if you did that, you wouldn’t need them anymore. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/9 "2013-03-10T03:56:57Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > That’s not a very realistic plan, is it? > > Seriously, you’re going to need at least six wolverines for a crowd this size. _adds six wolverines to shopping list_ ---
**Author:** ![Qwakkeddup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/90ced4/32.png) [@Qwakkeddup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qwakkeddup)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/10 "2013-03-11T00:22:20Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > _adds six wolverines to shopping list_ Whatever happened to Honey Badgers? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/11 "2013-03-11T00:51:17Z")
There’s always Ann Arbor, Michigan, and their Wolverines. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/12 "2013-03-11T01:51:24Z")
Or the Red Dawn Wolverines, but then you’re stuck in either a bad 80s movie or a bad remake of a bad 80s movie. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/13 "2013-03-11T02:55:39Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > They sit in the stairwell and smoke pot 5 times every day. In the morning between 8:00 and 8:22, again from 11:30 to 11:50, from 2:00 to 2:25, from 9:00 at night to 9:30, and again around 11pm. But never at DUSK! ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/14 "2013-03-11T04:06:43Z")
Weener Dogs are just as viscious and easier to … well, everything. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/15 "2013-03-11T12:10:05Z")
> [@harmonicamoon](#): > > Have you thought of inviting them over for dinner? It may be the best choice. If you have a big enough stewpot. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/16 "2013-03-11T14:18:55Z")
> [@Qwakkeddup](#): > > Whatever happened to Honey Badgers? I was going to say, just deploy a honey badger. ---
**Author:** ![magellan01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@magellan01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magellan01)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/17 "2013-03-11T15:00:47Z")
Your situation sounds like it sucks and I’m with you on the the wolverine idea. In fact, I spent a little time googling trying to see where one might procure such a righteous savior, but, alas, no luck. Since we seem to be operating in a wolverine-less reality, sounds like a move would make your life MUCH better. PLease note that even if you do move, the wolverine idea can still be instituted should you manage to find one. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/18 "2013-03-11T15:22:18Z")
I feel your pain. My next door neighbor is in love with her leaf blower. Every single time she thinks the neighborhood kids are being too noisy she runs the fucking thing. At one point she ran it for over four hours last summer. She let the thing just sit in her yard for over an hour. I swear the day she finally does the right thing and moves to a retirement home, we’ll all throw a huge party and not invite her. ---
**Author:** ![stolatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@stolatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolatt)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/19 "2013-03-11T16:32:45Z")
I don’t think that would be a healthy diet for a wolverine. ---
**Author:** ![Indyellen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/indyellen/32/4176_2.png) [@Indyellen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indyellen)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523/20 "2013-03-11T17:22:17Z")
> [@Qwakkeddup](#): > > Whatever happened to Honey Badgers? Honey Badger don’t care. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-my-neighbors-get-eaten-by-wolverines/652523.md?page=2)