# I hope you choke on all that goat cock, countertop fabricators. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 25, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912 "2012-02-25T02:31:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/41 "2012-02-25T19:08:47Z")
You know, it’s all a thing of beauty and I do admire ‘sludgefucking’, but it’s ‘where they failed Square 101’ that actually made me laugh out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/42 "2012-02-25T19:28:19Z")
FUCK YEAH ! I never gave a shit about countertops in my life, or any furniture really. I am however now ready to grab a pitchfork and start gathering firewood at your behest, **Zsofia**. When do we hang these motherfucking sludgefuckers from the nearest streetlight, goddammit ?! Besides, you taught me “cattywampus”, and it’s one of those inherently funny words, so I owe you one. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2012, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/43 "2012-02-25T23:24:39Z")
“Cockbag cattywampus countertops”. Heh. And I thought I was the only person left who uses the word “cattywampus”. Then again, I read more old books than I speak to living persons. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/44 "2012-02-26T00:00:55Z")
We have been without a sink since the week before Christmas. Our countertops just got set, and the one on the island didn’t have the corner radius we templated for. This may not sound like a big deal, but when you have a 39-inch 3-year-old, having countertop corners that she won’t brain herself on when she inevitably walks into one is important. So there’s another two weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/45 "2012-02-26T03:30:37Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > This kind of thing is the reason I liked _Holmes on Homes_ (and his new one, _Holmes Inspection_) so much. Even though they talk all Canadian-funny, eh? That’s so odd - he sounds perfectly normal to me. 🙂 (Except he says “about” funny.) ---
**Author:** ![that\_darn\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/59ef9b/32.png) [@that\_darn\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/that_darn_cat)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/46 "2012-02-26T03:49:30Z")
Cattywampus is an invaluable construction term, along with “janky”; see also: “janked up”. ---
**Author:** ![MikeG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikeg/32/4329_2.png) [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/47 "2012-02-26T03:53:31Z")
Where are you? Please say Chicago, I can help. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/48 "2012-02-26T04:09:03Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > We have been without a sink since the week before Christmas. Our countertops just got set, and the one on the island didn’t have the corner radius we templated for. This may not sound like a big deal, but when you have a 39-inch 3-year-old, having countertop corners that she won’t brain herself on when she inevitably walks into one is important. So there’s another two weeks. Holy shit. I bow to your home renovation fury. **MikeG** , sorry, South Carolina. Where, evidently, they say “cattywampus”. Although I probably got it from my dad, who’s from south Georgia. Actually, as a child I remember them bringing in a Gullah, perhaps (but certainly traditional African American) storyteller to tell us the story of the Wampus Cat, from whence I assume that word comes. One does not fuck with the Wampus Cat. The Wampus Cat is out of fucks to give. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/49 "2012-02-26T05:29:44Z")
This rant is substantial as the finest square-cut granite. Brava. > [@Zsofia](#): > > Actually, as a child I remember them bringing in a Gullah, perhaps (but certainly traditional African American) storyteller to tell us the story of the Wampus Cat, from whence I assume that word comes. One does not fuck with the Wampus Cat. The Wampus Cat is out of fucks to give. And if \*that \*were literally in the version told to the children, that would be the most awesome lesson in their entire education. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/50 "2012-02-26T05:43:30Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Holy shit. I bow to your home renovation fury. > > **MikeG** , sorry, South Carolina. Where, evidently, they say “cattywampus”. Although I probably got it from my dad, who’s from south Georgia. > Actually, as a child I remember them bringing in a Gullah, perhaps (but certainly traditional African American) storyteller to tell us the story of the Wampus Cat, from whence I assume that word comes. One does not fuck with the Wampus Cat. The Wampus Cat is out of fucks to give. If your very smart guy finds a nice place to hide on Monday…please don’t hurt him much. and tell us about the Wampus Cat, please. I used to have a Maine Coon who was dog agressive. He wamped dogs all the time. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/51 "2012-02-26T05:48:18Z")
I will have you know that I read the OP out loud to a friend earlier, and started laughing so hard that by the time I got to “cockbag” I could not speak. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/52 "2012-02-26T07:41:18Z")
Well shuckyfuck, that’s an awkward situation. Great word choice btw 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![eulalia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eulalia/32/457_2.png) [@eulalia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eulalia)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/53 "2012-02-26T08:35:18Z")
I have said “cattywampus” all my life and I never knew where it came from. It usually has “all” in front of it and has a meaning to me akin to the Brits’ “pear-shaped”. I was born in Mississippi, so I suppose it must be one of those southern things. Now I want to see if I can find the wampus cat story. ---
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/54 "2012-02-26T09:03:44Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I will have you know that I read the OP out loud to a friend earlier, and started laughing so hard that by the time I got to “cockbag” I could not speak. It was part of tonight’s double feature here, with “_Dear Inventor of the Hidden Zipper - Please Eat Shit_.” Too bad none of this can be rectified with cunting pliers. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/55 "2012-02-26T14:42:06Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > That’s so odd - he sounds perfectly normal to me. 🙂 > > (Except he says “about” funny.) “Aboot two feet o’that needs t’be agaynst this wall, eh?” ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/56 "2012-02-26T19:30:03Z")
> [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](#): > > It was part of tonight’s double feature here, with “_Dear Inventor of the Hidden Zipper - Please Eat Shit_.” > > Too bad none of this can be rectified with cunting pliers. Depends on to whom you apply the pliers. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/57 "2012-02-26T20:07:58Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > “Aboot two feet o’that needs t’be agaynst this wall, eh?” Yeah, he’s not helping the cause that are trying to inform the world that not all Canadians say about like aboot. ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/58 "2012-02-26T20:40:00Z")
If all Canadians looked like Mike Holmes, we wouldn’t _care_ how they pronounce “about”. Seriously, **Zsofia** , that well and truly sucks. I thought you might have been channelling **Sampiro** in your rant; maybe it’s a Southern Thing. I give it a 10! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/59 "2012-02-26T20:45:58Z")
> [@Cheez\_Whia](#): > > If all Canadians looked like Mike Holmes, we wouldn’t _care_ how they pronounce “about”. This is profoundly true. That’s another reason I love watching his shows… ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/60 "2012-02-26T22:36:32Z")
I love your knobs! LOVE! You know, I thought that the economy was very hard on contractors and they were all very appreciative of any work they could get. Also, is cattywampus related to kitty-cornered? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912.md?page=4)