# I hope you choke on all that goat cock, countertop fabricators. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 25, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912 "2012-02-25T02:31:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/61 "2012-02-27T00:08:48Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > I love your knobs! LOVE! Well, er… thanks, but I’m spoken for. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/62 "2012-02-27T00:43:48Z")
I’m looking forward to the Monday update. Schadenfreude are me 🙂 If you want a stranger’s opinion about your kitchen…it looks wonderful. But…I think you do need a door on the cabinet. It looks odd because the rest of the cabinets have doors, so not country style at all. You could fill the shelves with cook books? ---
**Author:** ![glilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/48db29/32.png) [@glilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glilly)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/63 "2012-02-27T01:08:05Z")
You probably already have, but I’d recommend checking measurements again. Even start with the assumption that the countertops are “right” and check if the walls and cabinets are square (especially walls). If there is such a problem the installers will find it, and you should be ready for it. Did they do the measurements, or did you? Not to say that it’s unlikely they are the problem. After waiting ~3 months for new countertops the installers showed up to my parents’ house with one 3 inches short. (Replaced with no hassle except time as the materials were in short supply.) ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/64 "2012-02-27T14:52:29Z")
Well, I guess I got all my aggression out here - called them up and very calmly explained the problems, and either one of the owners or the head of installation is going to come out when I’m not at work, at latest Thursday, to look at it. I was _ridiculously_ civil. Catching flies, all that. But I am keeping my fury in a safe deposit box to use if needed. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/65 "2012-02-27T14:53:41Z")
> [@glilly](#): > > You probably already have, but I’d recommend checking measurements again. Even start with the assumption that the countertops are “right” and check if the walls and cabinets are square (especially walls). If there is such a problem the installers will find it, and you should be ready for it. > > Did they do the measurements, or did you? > > Not to say that it’s unlikely they are the problem. After waiting ~3 months for new countertops the installers showed up to my parents’ house with one 3 inches short. (Replaced with no hassle except time as the materials were in short supply.) They came in after the cabinets were all installed and they did the templating. In other words, even if the cabinets aren’t square (and they are), the countertops are not conforming to the shape of the cabinets. ---
**Author:** ![glilly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/48db29/32.png) [@glilly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glilly)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/66 "2012-02-27T15:01:05Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > They came in after the cabinets were all installed and they did the templating. In other words, even if the cabinets aren’t square (and they are), the countertops are not conforming to the shape of the cabinets. Perfect! It’s all on them. ---
**Author:** ![Iggins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Iggins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggins)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/67 "2012-02-27T18:48:14Z")
> [@Folacin](#): > > Great rant. > > Looking at picture, what is the purpose of the drop in the counter right above the dishwasher? If you mean that the granite looks like it’s been beveled down above the dishwasher, it’s not - that’s the refelction of the window frame. There is the gap that Zsofia mentioned between the top of the dishwasher and the bottom of the countertop. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/68 "2012-02-27T19:07:19Z")
If they came in to do a template (which it looks like they did), it shouldn’t matter if the walls or the countertops are square. It should be made to fit the space. I know this because there isn’t a wall in my house that is square with the next (including the kitchen) and our countertops fit perfectly because they templated it before they cut. (Of course the same contractor proceeded to use a shitton of white caulking for the stainless steel sink. Reason: he didn’t have any clear left in the truck. He won’t make that mistake again since he had to clean it all off and then apply the clear as he should have.) ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/69 "2012-02-27T19:21:16Z")
Wow. If you don’t have time to do it right, when are you gonna have time to do it over? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/70 "2012-02-27T19:36:08Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Oh, that’s another thing. For some reason the Dirty Dozen leveled my countertops awfully high, which means the dishwasher isn’t tall enough. I’m going to ask the flooring people to fix that when they’re fooling around with the dishwasher anyway. Don’t raise the floor; lower the ceiling. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/71 "2012-02-27T19:38:15Z")
If I understand this right, it’s too big. Which is better than being too small. Theoretically, they can recut it and make it right, assuming they can pull it off the cabinets without destroying it. It doesn’t look like the slabs have any edging on them, so it should be even easier. In fact they might even be able to cut it and polish it in place. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/72 "2012-02-27T19:59:52Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > If I understand this right, it’s too big. Which is better than being too small. Theoretically, they can recut it and make it right, assuming they can pull it off the cabinets without destroying it. It doesn’t look like the slabs have any edging on them, so it should be even easier. In fact they might even be able to cut it and polish it in place. That is what I am desperately hoping for (and I bet they are, too!) If the sun goes down on my house without a sink any time in the next, say, ten years I will hoist the black flag and start cutting throats. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/73 "2012-02-27T20:03:26Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > That is what I am desperately hoping for (and I bet they are, too!) If the sun goes down on my house without a sink any time in the next, say, ten years I will hoist the black flag and start cutting throats. Am I right in saying that you don’t have any edging on your granite? That is, it’s just the 3/4 slab cut and them placed on the cabinets? If so, this should be no big deal to fix in place. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/74 "2012-02-27T20:14:24Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > I will hoist the black flag and start cutting throats. That’ll learn ya. THAT’lL learn ya! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/75 "2012-02-27T20:25:07Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Am I right in saying that you don’t have any edging on your granite? That is, it’s just the 3/4 slab cut and them placed on the cabinets? > > If so, this should be no big deal to fix in place. It’s what I think they call an eased edge - a little rounded off from square, is all. No ogee or bullnose or anything like that. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/76 "2012-02-27T20:46:13Z")
I’ll join the fan club regarding the OP, and express my sympathies. I also encourage your rage and would gladly see these fools suffer. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/77 "2012-02-27T21:16:53Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > It’s what I think they call an eased edge - a little rounded off from square, is all. No ogee or bullnose or anything like that. OK, “edging” can mean two different things. I was talking about adding a piece on to the end so it looks thicker. Imagine a strip 1 1/2" tall attached to the front of the slab, flush with the top, so it looks 1 1/2" thick instead of 3/4". The eased edge you are talking about is just a 1/8" bevel they put on the end. As long as there is no added edge piece, per above, then it’s pretty easy to cut it in place. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/78 "2012-02-27T21:37:28Z")
[This site](http://www.alibaba.com/product-gs/271869688/Granite_countertops_Edges/showimage.html) shows various types of counter top edges. If yours is like one on the first row, you’re golden. If it’s like one of the thicker ones, not sure if it can be fixed. without a lot of difficulty. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2012, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/79 "2012-02-27T22:17:58Z")
Oh, right - no, it’s just the solid edge. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2012, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912/80 "2012-02-28T01:13:34Z")
Then I think you’re OK. Good luck, and let us know how it goes! I’d be curious to know what the max variation in countertop depth is (ie, shortest front-to-back measurement vs longest). If you’re seeing a 1" difference in so short a run, something went terribly wrong somewhere. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-choke-on-all-that-goat-cock-countertop-fabricators/613912.md?page=5)