# I hope you guys are okay with another Doper baby joining us... \[sad update\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 9, 2012, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187 "2012-09-09T12:47:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/41 "2012-10-10T23:39:05Z")
_ **hugs** _ As another member of the “Me too” club, go easy on yourself for a while. Even if you weren’t too far along, it still plays havok with your body and your hormones and your emotions. I’m so, so sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Gaz\_Glitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gaz\_Glitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaz_Glitter)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/42 "2012-10-10T23:44:27Z")
I love babies, they taste delicious! ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/43 "2012-10-10T23:45:48Z")
Fuck ☹ I’m so sorry, Antigen ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/44 "2012-10-10T23:46:26Z")
> [@Gaz\_Glitter](#): > > I love babies, they taste delicious! Nominated as most assholish response in a thread to date. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/45 "2012-10-10T23:55:01Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Nominated as most assholish response in a thread to date. I’m guessing (hoping?) that Gaz didn’t read the update, so he/she didn’t know that this would be the absolute wrong thing to say. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/46 "2012-10-11T00:10:42Z")
I’m sorry Antigen. ---
**Author:** ![iftheresaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ecae2f/32.png) [@iftheresaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iftheresaway)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/47 "2012-10-11T00:13:30Z")
Sorry for your loss, Antigen. I also had three miscarriages. Please take care of yourself and your partner, and let him take care of you as well. ---
**Author:** ![Nancarrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/48 "2012-10-11T00:14:46Z")
> [@Meatros](#): > > I’m guessing (hoping?) that Gaz didn’t read the update, so he/she didn’t know that this would be the absolute wrong thing to say. With that username? And a Sept 2012 join date? At least they’re unlikely to be around here long. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/49 "2012-10-11T00:16:46Z")
I’m so sorry. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/50 "2012-10-11T00:40:42Z")
God Dammit. I’m so very sorry. God Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/51 "2012-10-11T00:47:12Z")
Antigen, I’m sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/52 "2012-10-11T00:47:18Z")
Lame lame lame!!! I had three miscarriages before we were successful. Baby aspirin, of all damn things, seems to have done the trick. Sending love and healing thoughts your way! ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/53 "2012-10-11T00:51:52Z")
> [@Gaz\_Glitter](#): > > I love babies, they taste delicious! This is an instance of being a jerk of the highest order. Consider this a warning, do not post like this again. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/54 "2012-10-11T01:38:20Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Never mind. It didn’t stick. That’ll teach me to get all excited. > ☹ > > Wasn’t sure if I should update here or start a new thread, but I don’t have it in me right now to come up with a whole OP to go with the update. If this bump is bad form, I apologize. I’m so sorry about this-my thoughts are with you and I’m thinking sticky thoughts in your direction for when you and your husband are ready again. Take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Hockeyshrink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4491bb/32.png) [@Hockeyshrink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockeyshrink)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/55 "2012-10-11T01:51:22Z")
I’m _so_ sorry. I’ve had two miscarriages of my own. For me the pain of having to tell everyone about it was just as great as the miscarriage itself, if that makes any sense. Add in the mourning of not only this child being lost, but the dreams and hopes of having a child as well… Be gentle with yourself. ((Antigen)) ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/56 "2012-10-11T02:07:11Z")
> [@Glory](#): > > When you consider the amazing complications and wonders of human life, it is not a surprise that sometimes early efforts don’t stick, but I hope you will look at the positive - you are popping out eggs, your SOs sperm are wiggly and motile, you fertilized an egg and that’s a big hurdle. I’m trying _really_ hard to see the bright side. We were ready to head to IUI after a year of failed attempts, and we ended up managing it on our own. I think getting my thyroid under control was a huge help. I know that we can do it again… I just hate that we have to. I already loved this baby so much. I started spotting last week, but because I noticed it after sex, I didn’t freak out about it right away. It happens all the time, right? The internet (and my OB’s office) said so. I’ve been trying really hard not to be a Nervous Nellie about every little thing, so I didn’t even call the nurse about it. But when it was still going on Monday, I called the office and they sent me for a STAT ultrasound. I sat in the waiting room for an hour, holding my husband’s hand and repeating “It’s sticky, right? It’s going to stick?” He kept telling me it was honey, it was maple syrup, it was sticky sticky and it was going to be ok. The ultrasound tech tried not to say anything too pessimistic, but I watched the screen as she pushed and prodded my tender insides, and I knew before she said anything. I couldn’t stop the tears. No baby. Just an empty sac. Which is exactly what I feel like right now. Apparently the sac measured 5 weeks or so when I should have been around 8 weeks. The tech tried to tell me that I probably got the dates wrong, but the bleeding and the timing of my positive test tell a different story. The nurse practitioner at my OB’s office said it’s likely a “blighted ovum”, and I’m getting labs drawn all week to see what the next step will be. I’m bleeding and cramping, but it’s no worse than a bad period, which makes me worry that I’ll need a D&C, which I’d really prefer to avoid. Meanwhile, one of my grandmothers died on Saturday. Every single “I’m sorry for your loss” coming from my friends and coworkers makes me cry so much harder because of my other loss that they don’t know about. I’m frankly quite impressed with myself that I’m not catatonic right now. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/57 "2012-10-11T02:24:12Z")
I am so sorry, Antigen. My dearest friend recently went through a similar experience. It’s a cruel blow. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/58 "2012-10-11T02:45:20Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Nominated as most assholish response in a thread to date. Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/59 "2012-10-11T07:33:51Z")
> [@Antigen](#): > > Never mind. It didn’t stick. That’ll teach me to get all excited. > ☹ I’m sorry. And about your grandma too. And about not wanting to tell people too soon because then if things go wrong you have to tell them back. And about not being able to tell people you lost your kid, because you didn’t want to tell them too soon because then… {{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2012, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187/60 "2012-10-11T07:37:30Z")
I’m very sorry to hear your news. But you can and will have another that sticks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-you-guys-are-okay-with-another-doper-baby-joining-us-sad-update/634187.md?page=4)