# I hope your baby burns her eyes out **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551 "2010-04-01T09:21:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/201 "2010-04-03T13:19:42Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I saw a Batman comic with him in it. His criminal master plan didnt make much sense to me, but man was his costume fabulous. Liberace played him on the 1960s Batman TV show. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/202 "2010-04-03T13:25:20Z")
> [@Nametag](#): > > Fabulous? Are you kidding? It made my eyes burn! I love you. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/203 "2010-04-03T13:45:26Z")
Ok… In the midst of all this Homersexual (ewww, thats my DAD!) Hot Saucy Ay-rab hating yeller bellied douchebag stuff and the couch jumping Frylock juniors (with or without shoes and signs) with icecream foot and mouth disease asides we have missed a very important fact here… Anamikka, I am taking your to Cafe Society. If there is a yummy spiced turnip recipe, I needs it! ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/204 "2010-04-03T14:23:36Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > Holy crap. > > I once griped a guy out for grabbing my kid by the arm and yelling in his face “You’re not at home!” when my kid was jumping on a couch in a waiting room. I told the guy he should have said something to me rather than grabbing my kid and scaring him. And I kind of wondered if I was being one of _those_ parents. > > But reading stories like the above makes me feel much better. I’m not one of those parents at all. You know, in your case, the whole thing could have been avoided had you nipped his jumping on _someone else’s_ couch in the bud in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/205 "2010-04-03T14:26:51Z")
One time when I was playing Batman, I jumped off the couch and accidentally landed on a bottle of tobasco. They refused to believe me at the ER. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/206 "2010-04-03T14:28:12Z")
You accidentally a whole bottle? ---
**Author:** ![Shawn\_K\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Shawn\_K\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn_K_1)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/207 "2010-04-03T14:37:47Z")
> [@BrightNShiny](#): > > Yes, I’m a guy. And I’ve met people who think that HOMERSEXUALS are free-ranging perverts who will diddle toddlers of either gender, or goats, or Muppets or whatever. There’s not wrong with diddling goats or Muppets as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult. The Tabasco sauce is optional. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/208 "2010-04-03T14:47:55Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > A Gay in Los Angeles. Who ever would have thunk. A Gay Hot Sauce Thief, no less. Statistically speaking, it is rather rare for a toddler to be molested by a chili burglar. > [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > If there is a yummy spiced turnip recipe, I needs it! I think I can help. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/209 "2010-04-03T14:50:47Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > _Hilarious!_ Yep. _Clearly_ a fuckwit parent. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/210 "2010-04-03T16:27:17Z")
> [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](#): > > Ok… > > In the midst of all this Homersexual (ewww, thats my DAD!) Hot Saucy Ay-rab hating yeller bellied douchebag stuff and the couch jumping Frylock juniors (with or without shoes and signs) with icecream foot and mouth disease asides we have missed a very important fact here… > > Anamikka, I am taking your to Cafe Society. If there is a yummy spiced turnip recipe, I needs it! I IM’d you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Doody\_Pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@Doody\_Pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doody_Pants)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/211 "2010-04-03T17:01:56Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > One time when I was playing Batman, I jumped off the couch and accidentally landed on a bottle of tobasco. They refused to believe me at the ER. That made me lol. This is a great thread. One day I will say something was like taking Tabasco sauce from a baby and no one else will know what I’m talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/212 "2010-04-03T17:42:05Z")
> [@MTCicero](#): > > You know, in your case, the whole thing could have been avoided had you nipped his jumping on _someone else’s_ couch in the bud in the first place. Maybe there was a sign on his back that said, “My kid is for others to parent?” ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/213 "2010-04-03T18:29:53Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Maybe there was a sign on his back that said, “My kid is for others to parent?” Oh, you’re right, of course. I had forgotten completely about the very real possibility of a sign of that nature existing. My mistake. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/214 "2010-04-03T18:39:27Z")
> [@MTCicero](#): > > Oh, you’re right, of course. I had forgotten completely about the very real possibility of a sign of that nature existing. My mistake. No worries. Next time, just make sure you take your shoes off before you jump right in like that. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/215 "2010-04-03T20:01:09Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I haven’t turned them off, so there must be some other impediment. Probably **Frylock** typing with those cloven hoofs. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/216 "2010-04-03T20:40:34Z")
Hey, you know, I’ve been thinking. Maybe **Frylock** doesn’t have the full story. Maybe the guy who grabbed his kid had a good reason. Maybe the guy’s mother was reincarnated as a couch and he’s not sure as which one so every time he sees one being defaced, he has to leap to its defense. One never knows. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/217 "2010-04-03T20:48:27Z")
That scenario has the makings of a TV show. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/218 "2010-04-03T20:50:39Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Hey, you know, I’ve been thinking. Maybe **Frylock** doesn’t have the full story. Maybe the guy who grabbed his kid had a good reason. Maybe the guy’s mother was reincarnated as a couch and he’s not sure as which one so every time he sees one being defaced, he has to leap to its defense. One never knows. That’s right. And to accost that couch in bare feet, no less–what an insult to her memory. Fucking heathens. Won’t someone think of the dead? And then there is the small male child (pre school age) I witnessed in a McDonald’s several years ago–standing on a table whilst mumsy blathered on to her companion, oblivious. People who allow their independently mobile offspring to cavort about sans shoes in public waiting rooms have a name. That name is trash, couch or no couch. But I am left with an important question: back to the Tabasco sauce scenario. Is it better to dip toddler toes in the sauce or dribble the sauce on the toes? and to the guy who saved the drowning toddler girl and got shit for it. I’m sorry that happened to you, but you’re a good guy. ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/219 "2010-04-03T21:26:37Z")
I’m amazed that you guys figured out the thing about the couch being a reincarnation of the guy’s mother. What you don’t get is this is _part of what made it reasonable._ You see, the man’s mother was Hitler… ---
**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2010, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551/220 "2010-04-04T05:37:54Z")
You know, several people in this thread claimed that the were going to use the phrase “like taking Tabasco from a baby,” but we haven’t heard any anecdotes of the results. Frankly, I’m disappointed with the progress. If I’m going to be the point of origin of an internet meme, we have to get cracking. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/i-hope-your-baby-burns-her-eyes-out/534551.md?page=12)